The Joke Thread

bigdavephoto · 06-11-2021, 02:34 PM - **2 Likes**

If Soylent was made out of clowns,.....would it taste funny?

Michael Piziak · 06-12-2021, 08:28 AM - **1 Like**

Michael Piziak · 06-12-2021, 09:47 AM - **4 Likes**

One of the world's most underrated books,
How to Make Marriage Work.
by Henry VIII.

35mmfilmfan · 06-12-2021, 12:26 PM - **3 Likes**

Traditionally, around the turn of the year (Mid-winter Festival in the Northern Hemisphere), circuses set up the 'Big Top' and attract crowds of visitors to watch the dazzling entertainment provided. Sadly, however, one of the UK's biggest Circuses is actually having to 'downsize', and let personnel go, due to the fact that some of its most colourful and popular entertainers are deemed to be spending too much time asleep.

They are having a Dozing Clown Sale.

Michael Piziak · 06-12-2021, 05:08 PM - **3 Likes**

Michael Piziak · 06-13-2021, 08:59 AM - **6 Likes**

Michael Piziak · 06-15-2021, 01:15 PM - **1 Like**

Michael Piziak · 06-16-2021, 09:19 AM - **1 Like**

**clackers** · 06-16-2021, 06:05 PM - **3 Likes**

"Jerry was hired to play his trumpet on the score of a new movie, and he was excited because he had two long solos. After the sessions, Jerry wanted to see the finished product, and asked the producer where and when he could catch the film. A little embarrassed, the producer told him it was a pornographic movie.

A month later, Jerry went to the theatre with dark glasses and his collar up, and sat in the back, hunched low in his seat next to an elderly couple, who also seemed to be hiding.

The movie started and it soon proved to be the filthiest, most perverted porno flick he'd ever seen. Embarrassed, Jerry turned to the elderly couple and whispered, 'I'm only here for the music.'

'That's okay,' the woman whispered back, 'We're just here to see our dog.'

vector · 06-16-2021, 09:14 PM - **8 Likes**

eddaytona · 06-16-2021, 10:47 PM - **2 Likes**

Guy is in doctor's office for annual prostate exam. Takes down his pants, points his butt in the air.
Doctor says "You have lettuce growing out of your butt"
Guy replies, "That's just the tip of the Iceberg."

**Tonytee** · 06-17-2021, 12:08 AM - **5 Likes**

I just returned from having dinner in a restaurant on Mars. The food was pretty good, but no atmosphere.

tt

35mmfilmfan · 06-17-2021, 12:19 PM - **3 Likes**

What do you call a potato orbiting the Earth ?

Spudnik

timb64 · 06-17-2021, 01:34 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Waffles

A bartender was in the process of constructing a perfect Old-fashioned when a Cocker Spaniel walked up to the bar.
'What can I do for ya?'
The Spaniel stared down the bar, inspecting the other patrons, and answered, 'Gimme a whiskey'.
The bartender pushed his just-made masterpiece towards the edge of the bar....'How bout an Old-fashioned?'
The Spaniel cocked his head and glared at the glass. 'I wanna a whiskey', he said. 'If I wanted anything else I woulda asked for it...Whiskey.'
The bar-keep pulled the drink away and poured two fingers of whiskey and placed it in front of the angry customer. 'Here ya go, buddy.'
'If I were yer buddy I woulda taken the Old-fashioned.'
The situation was becoming more tense as the seconds passed but the bartender was ready to defuse the tension: 'Isnt that your wife down there at the end of the bar? Next to the big guy in glasses?'
The Spaniel looked down the bar, then back at the bartender, then slid his whiskey glass away from him. 'Ill take a water. In a bowl.' And taking off his three-piece suit and hat, said in a dejected voice 'that aint my wife, that's my poodle'

Help!

robtcorl · 06-17-2021, 02:43 PM - **9 Likes**

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.

It was the lest I could do for him.

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06-11-2021, 02:34 PM - 2 Likes	#3991
bigdavephoto Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: East central Indiana Photos: Gallery Posts: 893	If Soylent was made out of clowns,.....would it taste funny?

06-12-2021, 08:28 AM - 1 Like	#3992
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815

06-12-2021, 09:47 AM - 4 Likes	#3993
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815	One of the world's most underrated books, How to Make Marriage Work. by Henry VIII.

06-12-2021, 12:26 PM - 3 Likes	#3994
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,337	Traditionally, around the turn of the year (Mid-winter Festival in the Northern Hemisphere), circuses set up the 'Big Top' and attract crowds of visitors to watch the dazzling entertainment provided. Sadly, however, one of the UK's biggest Circuses is actually having to 'downsize', and let personnel go, due to the fact that some of its most colourful and popular entertainers are deemed to be spending too much time asleep. They are having a Dozing Clown Sale.

06-12-2021, 05:08 PM - 3 Likes	#3995
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815

06-13-2021, 08:59 AM - 6 Likes	#3996
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815

06-15-2021, 01:15 PM - 1 Like	#3997
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815

06-16-2021, 09:19 AM - 1 Like	#3998
Michael Piziak Closed Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: West Virginia Posts: 2,815

06-16-2021, 06:05 PM - 3 Likes	#3999
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	"Jerry was hired to play his trumpet on the score of a new movie, and he was excited because he had two long solos. After the sessions, Jerry wanted to see the finished product, and asked the producer where and when he could catch the film. A little embarrassed, the producer told him it was a pornographic movie. A month later, Jerry went to the theatre with dark glasses and his collar up, and sat in the back, hunched low in his seat next to an elderly couple, who also seemed to be hiding. The movie started and it soon proved to be the filthiest, most perverted porno flick he'd ever seen. Embarrassed, Jerry turned to the elderly couple and whispered, 'I'm only here for the music.' 'That's okay,' the woman whispered back, 'We're just here to see our dog.'

06-16-2021, 09:14 PM - 8 Likes	#4000
vector Pentaxian Join Date: May 2015 Location: Alberta Posts: 713

06-16-2021, 10:47 PM - 2 Likes	#4001
eddaytona Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Black Rock City, NV Photos: Albums Posts: 175	Guy is in doctor's office for annual prostate exam. Takes down his pants, points his butt in the air. Doctor says "You have lettuce growing out of your butt" Guy replies, "That's just the tip of the Iceberg."

06-17-2021, 12:08 AM - 5 Likes	#4002
Tonytee Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2012 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 21,505	I just returned from having dinner in a restaurant on Mars. The food was pretty good, but no atmosphere. tt

06-17-2021, 12:19 PM - 3 Likes	#4003
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,337	What do you call a potato orbiting the Earth ? Spudnik

06-17-2021, 01:34 PM - 1 Like	#4004
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,514	Originally posted by Waffles A bartender was in the process of constructing a perfect Old-fashioned when a Cocker Spaniel walked up to the bar. 'What can I do for ya?' The Spaniel stared down the bar, inspecting the other patrons, and answered, 'Gimme a whiskey'. The bartender pushed his just-made masterpiece towards the edge of the bar....'How bout an Old-fashioned?' The Spaniel cocked his head and glared at the glass. 'I wanna a whiskey', he said. 'If I wanted anything else I woulda asked for it...Whiskey.' The bar-keep pulled the drink away and poured two fingers of whiskey and placed it in front of the angry customer. 'Here ya go, buddy.' 'If I were yer buddy I woulda taken the Old-fashioned.' The situation was becoming more tense as the seconds passed but the bartender was ready to defuse the tension: 'Isnt that your wife down there at the end of the bar? Next to the big guy in glasses?' The Spaniel looked down the bar, then back at the bartender, then slid his whiskey glass away from him. 'Ill take a water. In a bowl.' And taking off his three-piece suit and hat, said in a dejected voice 'that aint my wife, that's my poodle' Help!

06-17-2021, 02:43 PM - 9 Likes	#4005
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the lest I could do for him.