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11-28-2021, 06:25 AM - 4 Likes   #4471
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Please, no-one make jokes about French cheese - I Camembert it.

11-28-2021, 07:59 AM - 2 Likes   #4472
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11-29-2021, 11:55 AM - 8 Likes   #4473
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An RAF veteran is giving a talk to a class of school children, and was trying to explain what a typical mission would be like.

"So there I was, escorting the bombers to their target, when out of the blue we were attacked by a bunch of Fokkers. There were about 20 of these Fokkers. One took out my buddy, but I managed to shoot the Fokker down. Then one was on my tail and I couldn't shake the Fokker, but my pal took care of him. Then I took out two more of the Fokkers..."

The teacher interrupts "Children I should explain, the Fokker was a type of fighter airplane used by the German Air Force to stop the RAF bombers and their escorts."

"Yes, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts!"
11-29-2021, 04:10 PM - 5 Likes   #4474
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'A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and about an hour later a man shows up with a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun.

The animal control employee tells the man, "I'm here to get the gorilla out of your tree. I'm going to use this ladder to climb up there and shake the branch to knock him to the ground. The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls and bite their balls, immobilizing the animal so I can put him in the truck."

The man says "Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what about the shotgun?"

"Oh, that's for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, shoot the dog."'

11-29-2021, 04:29 PM - 3 Likes   #4475
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Does this sound familiar?

How many internet forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's lightbulb or light bulb ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is lamp
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add Me too
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say didn't we go through this already a short time ago?
13 to say do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
1 mod to lock it down after it goes off-track for the nth time...
11-29-2021, 04:35 PM   #4476
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QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
Does this sound familiar?

How many internet forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's lightbulb or light bulb ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is lamp
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add Me too
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say didn't we go through this already a short time ago?
13 to say do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
1 mod to lock it down after it goes off-track for the nth time...
Excellent

11-30-2021, 06:51 AM - 3 Likes   #4477
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QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
Does this sound familiar?

How many internet forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's lightbulb or light bulb ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is lamp
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add Me too
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say didn't we go through this already a short time ago?
13 to say do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
1 mod to lock it down after it goes off-track for the nth time...
And don't forget that one person that will post a link telling you it's about light bulbs but it is actually a link to Rick Ashley's video for his song Never Gonna Give You Up.

11-30-2021, 07:00 AM - 1 Like   #4478
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QuoteOriginally posted by bigdavephoto Quote
And don't forget that one person that will post a link telling you it's about light bulbs but it is actually a link to Rick Ashley's video for his song Never Gonna Give You Up.
Or the one who definitely,positively knows the best way to change the lightbulb and if you deviate from their method will ridicule you tirelessly and eventually get banned for their extreme views!
11-30-2021, 07:31 AM - 2 Likes   #4479
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QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
Or the one who definitely,positively knows the best way to change the lightbulb and if you deviate from their method will ridicule you tirelessly and eventually get banned for their extreme views!
And don't forget the anti light bulbers who think anyone with a light bulb will be dead in two years.

11-30-2021, 07:59 AM - 4 Likes   #4480
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
11-30-2021, 08:43 AM - 1 Like   #4481
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11-30-2021, 12:47 PM - 2 Likes   #4482
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How many directors of Social Work does it take to change a light bulb?




None.



But three of them, working together, can produce a paper on Coping With Darkness.
11-30-2021, 12:53 PM - 2 Likes   #4483
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QuoteOriginally posted by bigdavephoto Quote
And don't forget that one person that will post a link telling you it's about light bulbs but it is actually a link to Rick Ashley's video for his song Never Gonna Give You Up.
I feel I must point out your speling error, it’s Rick Astley. One should always take proper care when tyeping things for the InterWeb, because some moron’s gonna correct it.
11-30-2021, 01:09 PM - 2 Likes   #4484
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QuoteOriginally posted by StiffLegged Quote
I feel I must point out your speling error, it’s Rick Astley. One should always take proper care when tyeping things for the InterWeb, because some moron’s gonna correct it.
Like the word tyeping?
11-30-2021, 01:14 PM - 1 Like   #4485
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QuoteOriginally posted by Racer X 69 Quote
Like the word tyeping?
Or speling. Missed that, dincha!
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