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Racer X 69 · 01-26-2022, 11:02 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Tako Kichi

True story ............ my wife and I both play a multiplayer computer game/simulation that is based around hunting wild animals ('The Hunter: Call of the Wild' if anyone is interested). One of the available extra DLCs is for a hunting dog (bloodhound) to help you track any prey you have shot but not initially killed outright. You can pick a gender for the dog, the colour variation and also name them and to keep up their morale you have to periodically pet/play with them and give them treats so that they stay happy and attentive and therefore track the prey better.

After we got ours selected as far as gender and colour type we had to decide on names and my wife picked 'Cassie' for her female, brown, saddle-back, I chose to call my male, black and tan, saddle-back 'Stainz'. On hearing my dog's name my wife asked "Why on earth did you call your dog Stainz?" to which I replied ....

"So that I can wander through the bush shouting "Come Stainz!" at the top of my lungs!"

You’re a bad boy!

cheesy

robtcorl · 01-27-2022, 05:34 AM - **4 Likes**

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye Matey!

**WPRESTO** · 01-27-2022, 05:41 AM - **1 Like**

What did the pirate say when he looked about from his ship and saw only ocean out to the horizon?

AVAST! - sea.

Martin Stu · 01-27-2022, 08:30 AM - **2 Likes**

clean place

**tncowdaddy** · 01-27-2022, 11:25 AM - **10 Likes**

My grandfather used to say, "When one door closes, another opens." He was a wise man, but a terrible cabinet maker.

**DeepThrob** · 01-27-2022, 10:32 PM - **2 Likes**

This photo related illusion is not actually a joke but it made me laugh. A and B have exactly the same color, hue and luminosity values !!

**StiffLegged** · 01-28-2022, 06:15 AM - **7 Likes**

An elderly gentleman, now living alone, decided his house took more keeping than he could be bothered with any more, so he decided to sell it and move into sheltered housing. On hearing of this plan, his family were aghast: ”You don’t want to go there, Dad! It’s all old ladies and they’ll be chasing you; you’ll never get any peace!” He dismissed this idea as ridiculous, he was too old for that kind of nonsense now.

The sale went ahead and he duly moved in to a flat in the complex. A few days later he was leaving his apartment when a silver-haired woman passed his door. “You’re new here!” she said. “Yes, I only moved in two days ago.” ”Are you married?” The man sighed: after a moment’s thought he answered ”I was married but I murdered my wife, cut her in pieces and dumped the lot in the river.”

”So you’re single??”….

Martin Stu · 01-28-2022, 07:10 AM - **1 Like**

Havana cigar

Parallax · 01-28-2022, 07:39 AM - **9 Likes**

Fun fact: Most archaeologists are women due to their uncanny ability to dig up the past.

35mmfilmfan · 01-28-2022, 12:33 PM - **4 Likes**

I ordered soup in a restaurant, but when it arrived, there was no troni in it.

Must have been minus troni.

Parallax · 01-28-2022, 02:10 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

I ordered soup in a restaurant, but when it arrived, there was no troni in it.

Must have been minus troni.

I assume you tried to get your money back but made no progresso you left.

Martin Stu · 01-28-2022, 08:03 PM - **2 Likes**

you can't escape fate

35mmfilmfan · 01-29-2022, 02:43 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

I assume you tried to get your money back but made no progresso you left.

I ordered coffee, didn't pay and left Expresso.

Martin Stu · 01-31-2022, 09:21 AM - **2 Likes**

pre-dinner speech

robtcorl · 02-02-2022, 05:19 PM - **3 Likes**

Just text me when you get here, no need to knock and get the dog involved.

01-27-2022, 10:32 PM - 2 Likes	#4701
DeepThrob Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Taos, New Mexico Posts: 295	This photo related illusion is not actually a joke but it made me laugh. A and B have exactly the same color, hue and luminosity values !! Attached Images

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01-26-2022, 11:02 AM - 1 Like	#4696
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,077	Originally posted by Tako Kichi True story ............ my wife and I both play a multiplayer computer game/simulation that is based around hunting wild animals ('The Hunter: Call of the Wild' if anyone is interested). One of the available extra DLCs is for a hunting dog (bloodhound) to help you track any prey you have shot but not initially killed outright. You can pick a gender for the dog, the colour variation and also name them and to keep up their morale you have to periodically pet/play with them and give them treats so that they stay happy and attentive and therefore track the prey better. After we got ours selected as far as gender and colour type we had to decide on names and my wife picked 'Cassie' for her female, brown, saddle-back, I chose to call my male, black and tan, saddle-back 'Stainz'. On hearing my dog's name my wife asked "Why on earth did you call your dog Stainz?" to which I replied .... "So that I can wander through the bush shouting "Come Stainz!" at the top of my lungs!" You’re a bad boy!

01-27-2022, 05:34 AM - 4 Likes	#4697
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey!

01-27-2022, 05:41 AM - 1 Like	#4698
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,142	What did the pirate say when he looked about from his ship and saw only ocean out to the horizon? AVAST! - sea.

01-27-2022, 08:30 AM - 2 Likes	#4699
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	clean place

01-27-2022, 11:25 AM - 10 Likes	#4700
tncowdaddy Site Supporter Join Date: May 2016 Location: Bristol, Tennessee Posts: 369	My grandfather used to say, "When one door closes, another opens." He was a wise man, but a terrible cabinet maker.

01-28-2022, 06:15 AM - 7 Likes	#4702
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,639	An elderly gentleman, now living alone, decided his house took more keeping than he could be bothered with any more, so he decided to sell it and move into sheltered housing. On hearing of this plan, his family were aghast: ”You don’t want to go there, Dad! It’s all old ladies and they’ll be chasing you; you’ll never get any peace!” He dismissed this idea as ridiculous, he was too old for that kind of nonsense now. The sale went ahead and he duly moved in to a flat in the complex. A few days later he was leaving his apartment when a silver-haired woman passed his door. “You’re new here!” she said. “Yes, I only moved in two days ago.” ”Are you married?” The man sighed: after a moment’s thought he answered ”I was married but I murdered my wife, cut her in pieces and dumped the lot in the river.” ”So you’re single??”….

01-28-2022, 07:10 AM - 1 Like	#4703
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	Havana cigar

01-28-2022, 07:39 AM - 9 Likes	#4704
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Fun fact: Most archaeologists are women due to their uncanny ability to dig up the past.

01-28-2022, 12:33 PM - 4 Likes	#4705
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,342	I ordered soup in a restaurant, but when it arrived, there was no troni in it. Must have been minus troni.

01-28-2022, 02:10 PM - 2 Likes	#4706
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan I ordered soup in a restaurant, but when it arrived, there was no troni in it. Must have been minus troni. I assume you tried to get your money back but made no progresso you left.

01-28-2022, 08:03 PM - 2 Likes	#4707
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	you can't escape fate

01-29-2022, 02:43 AM - 1 Like	#4708
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,342	Originally posted by Parallax I assume you tried to get your money back but made no progresso you left. I ordered coffee, didn't pay and left Expresso.

01-31-2022, 09:21 AM - 2 Likes	#4709
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	pre-dinner speech

02-02-2022, 05:19 PM - 3 Likes	#4710
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Just text me when you get here, no need to knock and get the dog involved.

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