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04-30-2022, 09:01 AM - 2 Likes   #4861
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QuoteOriginally posted by Racer X 69 Quote
And Twitter............
Indeed. I'm sure it's not just a coincidence that twit is the root word of twitter.

04-30-2022, 09:03 AM - 3 Likes   #4862
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QuoteOriginally posted by Parallax Quote
Indeed. I'm sure it's not just a coincidence that twit is the root word of twitter.
I registered on twitter and was banned before I could even post.

Something about the X and 69 in my innernet handle.
04-30-2022, 09:37 AM - 8 Likes   #4863
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You guys are getting serious. Ok,let me tell something about a serious issue.


A husband notices that his wife’s hearing is deteriorating, and decides to visit her doctor for advice.
“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.
“There’s a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing” explains the doctor. “Simply ask her a question at a distance and if she doesn’t hear you, move slightly closer and ask again until she does”.
That night, the husband arrives home and sees his wife in the kitchen cooking. He thinks to himself, “what a perfect opportunity to test her hearing”.
He stands in the doorway of the kitchen and promptly asks;
“What’s for dinner honey?”
No answer. He moves closer.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
Still no answer. He moves even closer.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
Still his wife doesn’t answer. He now sees how serious her hearing problem is. At this point, he is stood right next to his wife.
“What’s for dinner honey?”
“FOR THE FOURTH ****ING TIME WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN”
04-30-2022, 11:09 AM - 4 Likes   #4864
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I lump all of these 'Social Network' sites together under the description 'Twitface'.

04-30-2022, 02:28 PM - 1 Like   #4865
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QuoteOriginally posted by Parallax Quote
...................
The sad part, that is not a joke but reality, yet at the same time it is funny.
05-01-2022, 12:19 AM - 3 Likes   #4866
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QuoteOriginally posted by Racer X 69 Quote
I registered on twitter and was banned before I could even post.

Something about the X and 69 in my innernet handle.
There was a guy who said he wouldn’t join any club that would have him as a member?
05-01-2022, 12:36 AM - 1 Like   #4867
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QuoteOriginally posted by StiffLegged Quote
There was a guy who said he wouldn’t join any club that would have him as a member?
That was my close, personal friend, Mr. Groucho Marx. )

Tony

05-01-2022, 06:09 PM   #4868
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Since this is a photography website, perhaps some of you can answer this question (?)

Last edited by Michael Piziak; 05-01-2022 at 06:21 PM.
05-02-2022, 06:58 AM - 4 Likes   #4869
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Modified slightly from Reader's Digest:


Died recently, Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh, at 71. Fresh rose quickly to prominence, but his career had many turnovers. He was not a smart cookie and wasted a lot of dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man,he was a roll model for millions. He is survived by his second wife. They have many children and several in the oven.

Attending his funeral were Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies who had their own brush with death. The service was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

---------- Post added 05-02-22 at 09:59 AM ----------

Also from RD:

A man walks up to beautiful young women and asks:

"Where have you been all my life?"

She replies:

"Well, for the first half I wasn't born."

---------- Post added 05-02-22 at 10:03 AM ----------

I awoke this morning and thought maybe I was dead because nothing was aching.

---------- Post added 05-02-22 at 10:35 AM ----------

And these:

Joe spent his life collecting memorabilia of Wonder Woman, Joan of Arc, and Florence Nightingale. He was a heroine addict.

The mermaid and the fisherman met on line.

Cinderella was dropped from the soccer team because she ran away from the ball.

Last edited by WPRESTO; 05-02-2022 at 07:06 AM.
05-02-2022, 11:43 AM - 3 Likes   #4870
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When I was arrested, I was given a truth drug. The officer asked what I did - I explained that I turned food into feces with myself as an inconsequential by-product.
05-02-2022, 03:43 PM - 1 Like   #4871
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
....I awoke this morning and thought maybe I was dead because nothing was aching.....
Too bloody true! LOL
05-04-2022, 12:59 AM - 1 Like   #4872
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
When I was arrested, I was given a truth drug. The officer asked what I did - I explained that I turned food into feces with myself as an inconsequential by-product.
QuoteQuote:
feces
I guess I have failed to keep apace with world geo-politics...who would have thought that Location: Norfolk, UK was now part of the umpty-50 something states.
05-04-2022, 08:04 AM   #4873
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QuoteOriginally posted by bobD Quote
I guess I have failed to keep apace with world geo-politics...who would have thought that Location: Norfolk, UK was now part of the umpty-50 something states.
I did not spell it thus - autocorrupt did its thing when I created it in Notepad, and I did not notice ! I knew the faeces would eventually collide with the air-circulating machinery.
05-05-2022, 05:41 AM - 2 Likes   #4874
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Allegedly, at an undisclosed address somewhere in Westminster, an illegal gathering was held, in direct contravention of regulations. I have used the FOI Act, and plain honest bribery, to ascertain a list of the guests, which I append :

Mr & Mrs Dral - and their daughter, Cathy
Mr & Mrs Wall-carpeting - and their son, Walter
Mr & Mrs Anchor - and their son, William
Mr & Mrs Bates - and their son - doesn't
Mr & Mrs Handel - and their daughter Doreen, usually known as Dor
Mr & Mrs Vere - and their son, Percy
Mr & Mrs Banks - and their son, Robin
Mr & Mrs Onymouse - and their daughter, Ann
Mr & Mrs Plasm - and their son, Hector
Mr & Mrs Lear - and their son Peter Quentin, known as P.Q.Lear
Mr & Mrs Seville - and their daughter, Barbara
Mr & Mrs Lee Speaking - and their son, Frank
their daughter, Norma
and their military cousin, General

Mr & Mrs Porates - and their daughter, Eva
Mr & Mrs Macassar - and their Auntie
Mr & Mrs Pective - and their son Percival, usually called Perce
Mr & Mrs Gaiter - and their daughter Alison, known as Allie
Mr & Mrs Tonin - and their daughter, Sara
Mr & Mrs Ross - and their son, Albert
Mr & Mrs Tania - their daughter Lucy, and their son, Morrie
Mr & Mrs Trician - and their son, Alec
Mr & Mrs Itus - and their son, Arthur
Mr & Mrs Zola - and their cheesy daughter, Gorgon
Mr & Mrs Druff - and their son, Dan
Mr & Mrs Opteryx - and their son, Archie
Mr & Mrs Wild - and their son, Barnaby
Mr & Mrs Sleigh - and their son, Bob
Mr & Mrs Sticated - and their daughter, Sophie
Mr & Mrs O'Dactyl - and their son, Peter
Mr & Mrs Case - and their son, Justin
05-05-2022, 07:17 AM - 2 Likes   #4875
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
Allegedly, at an undisclosed address somewhere in Westminster, an illegal gathering was held, in direct contravention of regulations. I have used the FOI Act, and plain honest bribery, to ascertain a list of the guests, which I append :
...
Mr & Mrs Pective - and their son Percival, usually called Perce
"Foul!" for trying to include photography in the thread!

---------- Post added 05-05-22 at 03:19 PM ----------

QuoteOriginally posted by Parallax Quote
Indeed. I'm sure it's not just a coincidence that twit is the root word of twitter.
Definitely Not; most twits "twitter" far too much

Last edited by Blue; 05-06-2022 at 08:25 AM.
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