The Joke Thread

35mmfilmfan · 05-05-2022, 07:49 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by jeallen01

"Foul!" for trying to include photography in the thread!

[COLOR="Silver"]

Not so, m'lud - I was using it in this sense (from Wiktionary) :

Perspective

(figuratively) The choice of a single angle or point of view from which to sense, categorize, measure or codify experience.
The ability to consider things in such relative perspective.

I rest my case (it was too heavy to carry for long periods).

jeallen01 · 05-05-2022, 08:13 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

Not so, m'lud - I was using it in this sense (from Wiktionary) :

Perspective

(figuratively) The choice of a single angle or point of view from which to sense, categorize, measure or codify experience.
The ability to consider things in such relative perspective.

I rest my case (it was too heavy to carry for long periods).

Guilty nevertheless as ambiguity is not acceptable as grounds for use of obtuse reasons for breaching the terms of this thread - Life without parole on bread & water!

35mmfilmfan · 05-05-2022, 01:09 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by jeallen01

Guilty nevertheless as ambiguity is not acceptable as grounds for use of obtuse reasons for breaching the terms of this thread - Life without parole on bread & water!

Oh, great - back to married life again.

**StiffLegged** · 05-05-2022, 01:32 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

Allegedly, at an undisclosed address somewhere in Westminster, an illegal gathering was held, in direct contravention of regulations. I have used the FOI Act, and plain honest bribery, to ascertain a list of the guests, which I append :

Mr & Mrs Dral - and their daughter, Cathy
Mr & Mrs Wall-carpeting - and their son, Walter...

I tried to think where I've heard these before, but I'm sorry I haven't a clue.

My favourite:– Monsieur et Madame Isthesoundofaracingcar and their son Pierre...

35mmfilmfan · 05-05-2022, 02:24 PM - **1 Like**

Go back further, into the dim and distant past of BBC Radio Comedy - many surfaced on the fore-runner, I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again.

jeallen01 · 05-06-2022, 02:20 AM

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

Oh, great - back to married life again.

Tako Kichi · 05-06-2022, 07:37 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

Go back further, into the dim and distant past of BBC Radio Comedy - many surfaced on the fore-runner, I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again.

They could even have been used on the fore-runner to ISIRTA too, otherwise known as TWTWTW or TW3 or even 'That Was The Week That Was'!

Blue · 05-06-2022, 08:25 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by jeallen01

"Foul!" for trying to include photography in the thread!

---------- Post added 05-05-22 at 03:19 PM ----------

Definitely Not; most twits "twitter" far too much

I can't do anything in 134 characters or less.

Parallax · 05-06-2022, 08:55 AM - **5 Likes**

In the 1960s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media then.

**cartesio** · 05-06-2022, 11:09 AM - **5 Likes**

Invitation Replies To A Scientist's Ball

Ampere was worried he wasn't current.

Audubon said he'd have to wing it.

Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

Darwin waited to see what evolved.

Descartes said he'd think about it.

Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.

Edison thought it would be illuminating.

Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.

Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.

Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule.

Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it.

Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.

Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.

Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

Newton planned to drop in.

Ohm resisted the idea.

Pavlov was drooling at the thought.

Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.

Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?

Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.

Volta was electrified, and Archemedes buoyant at the thought.

Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.

Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orwell could get a flight.

Blue · 05-07-2022, 06:40 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

In the 1960s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media then.

Did it hurt?

Parallax · 05-07-2022, 02:08 PM - **7 Likes**

They say we can have gatherings with up to ten people without issues.
I don’t even know ten people without issues.

**StiffLegged** · 05-08-2022, 12:32 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

They say we can have gatherings with up to ten people without issues.
I don’t even know ten people without issues.

Gesundheit!

Parallax · 05-08-2022, 06:32 AM - **6 Likes**

I never make the same mistake twice.
I do it five or six times, you know, just to make sure.

Blue · 05-08-2022, 08:01 AM - **1 Like**

A blow fly walked up to the bar and asked if this stool was taken.

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05-05-2022, 07:49 AM - 3 Likes	#4876
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Originally posted by jeallen01 "Foul!" for trying to include photography in the thread! [COLOR="Silver"] Not so, m'lud - I was using it in this sense (from Wiktionary) : Perspective (figuratively) The choice of a single angle or point of view from which to sense, categorize, measure or codify experience. The ability to consider things in such relative perspective. I rest my case (it was too heavy to carry for long periods).

05-05-2022, 08:13 AM - 2 Likes	#4877
jeallen01 Pentaxian Join Date: May 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,697	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan Not so, m'lud - I was using it in this sense (from Wiktionary) : Perspective (figuratively) The choice of a single angle or point of view from which to sense, categorize, measure or codify experience. The ability to consider things in such relative perspective. I rest my case (it was too heavy to carry for long periods). Guilty nevertheless as ambiguity is not acceptable as grounds for use of obtuse reasons for breaching the terms of this thread - Life without parole on bread & water!

05-05-2022, 01:09 PM - 2 Likes	#4878
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Originally posted by jeallen01 Guilty nevertheless as ambiguity is not acceptable as grounds for use of obtuse reasons for breaching the terms of this thread - Life without parole on bread & water! Oh, great - back to married life again.

05-05-2022, 01:32 PM - 2 Likes	#4879
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,617	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan Allegedly, at an undisclosed address somewhere in Westminster, an illegal gathering was held, in direct contravention of regulations. I have used the FOI Act, and plain honest bribery, to ascertain a list of the guests, which I append : Mr & Mrs Dral - and their daughter, Cathy Mr & Mrs Wall-carpeting - and their son, Walter... I tried to think where I've heard these before, but I'm sorry I haven't a clue. My favourite:– Monsieur et Madame Isthesoundofaracingcar and their son Pierre...

05-05-2022, 02:24 PM - 1 Like	#4880
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Go back further, into the dim and distant past of BBC Radio Comedy - many surfaced on the fore-runner, I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again.

05-06-2022, 02:20 AM	#4881
jeallen01 Pentaxian Join Date: May 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,697	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan Oh, great - back to married life again.

05-06-2022, 07:37 AM - 2 Likes	#4882
Tako Kichi Veteran Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: SW Ontario, Canada (ex-pat Brit) Posts: 1,296	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan Go back further, into the dim and distant past of BBC Radio Comedy - many surfaced on the fore-runner, I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again. They could even have been used on the fore-runner to ISIRTA too, otherwise known as TWTWTW or TW3 or even 'That Was The Week That Was'!

05-06-2022, 08:25 AM - 1 Like	#4883
Blue Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Florida Hill Country Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 17,377	Originally posted by jeallen01 "Foul!" for trying to include photography in the thread! ---------- Post added 05-05-22 at 03:19 PM ---------- Definitely Not; most twits "twitter" far too much I can't do anything in 134 characters or less.

05-06-2022, 08:55 AM - 5 Likes	#4884
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	In the 1960s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media then.

05-06-2022, 11:09 AM - 5 Likes	#4885
cartesio Site Supporter Join Date: Jun 2016 Photos: Gallery Posts: 899	Invitation Replies To A Scientist's Ball Ampere was worried he wasn't current. Audubon said he'd have to wing it. Boyle said he was under too much pressure. Darwin waited to see what evolved. Descartes said he'd think about it. Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately. Edison thought it would be illuminating. Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality. Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule. Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it. Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency. Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out. Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash." Newton planned to drop in. Ohm resisted the idea. Pavlov was drooling at the thought. Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm. Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he? Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco. Volta was electrified, and Archemedes buoyant at the thought. Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam. Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orwell could get a flight.

05-07-2022, 06:40 AM - 1 Like	#4886
Blue Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Florida Hill Country Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 17,377	Originally posted by Parallax In the 1960s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media then. Did it hurt?

05-07-2022, 02:08 PM - 7 Likes	#4887
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	They say we can have gatherings with up to ten people without issues. I don’t even know ten people without issues.

05-08-2022, 12:32 AM - 1 Like	#4888
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,617	Originally posted by Parallax They say we can have gatherings with up to ten people without issues. I don’t even know ten people without issues. Gesundheit!

05-08-2022, 06:32 AM - 6 Likes	#4889
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	I never make the same mistake twice. I do it five or six times, you know, just to make sure.

05-08-2022, 08:01 AM - 1 Like	#4890
Blue Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Florida Hill Country Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 17,377	A blow fly walked up to the bar and asked if this stool was taken.