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10-12-2022, 12:40 PM - 2 Likes   #5026
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QuoteOriginally posted by Martin Stu Quote
A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?" He smiled and replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."
Yeah, according to game theory this should make everyone never leave office at all. In reality this will just mean that the one that was usually the last to come in every day will be the second-to-last, being only a minute earlier than the one that did the math and realized that coming in on the minute every day and paying the ticket is worth more than giving in to that mean game. Or, if it's too expensive, this will force one of them to be terminated and sue for idk having to pay to be able to work and win. Or you just park outside of company property for free if it's within a reasonable walking distance.

Oh, this is the joke thread, right? Sorry

10-12-2022, 04:14 PM - 6 Likes   #5027
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I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him… I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
10-12-2022, 04:24 PM - 4 Likes   #5028
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
M and I have been through several how to make it gender neutral or gender inclusive and found gender sneaks in. For example, should it correctly be


Mail-man, or Mail-female, or Mail-person, or Mail-human, or Mail-woman, or Mail-lady, or Mail-girl,


M suggester "femail-man" (or was she saying "female-man??")

Perhaps clumsily it should be Mail-deliverer, except that "mail" still sounds exactly like "male"


SO: Postage-deliverer, tripling the number of syllables to obtain gender neutrality/inclusivity.
Today I wandered out to the person-box to see if the person-person had left any person.

When I reported to the wife that there was no person today she gave me a strange look....
10-12-2022, 04:58 PM   #5029
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QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
Postie?!Succinct and gender-neutral.
But that only works in Aussie and here!

10-13-2022, 02:39 AM - 5 Likes   #5030
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I just saw some idiot at the gym… He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill!
10-13-2022, 02:56 AM - 2 Likes   #5031
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QuoteOriginally posted by bobD Quote
Today I wandered out to the person-box to see if the person-person had left any person.

When I reported to the wife that there was no person today she gave me a strange look....
For gender equality, "person-person" should probably be "person-perdaughter"
10-13-2022, 03:27 AM - 6 Likes   #5032
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art and life



Last edited by Martin Stu; 10-13-2022 at 05:45 AM.
10-13-2022, 11:45 AM   #5033
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Pretty good although they carry packages as well as letters.
Then they should get a bump in pay when there are parcels in addition to the letters.
10-14-2022, 02:17 AM - 3 Likes   #5034
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10-14-2022, 05:02 AM - 3 Likes   #5035
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QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
But that only works in Aussie and here!
Ach man, in Scotland too, aye!

QuoteOriginally posted by Racer X 69 Quote
Then they should get a bump in pay when there are parcels in addition to the letters.
And by complete coincidence a postie I met once, a fine photographer to boot, already has a bump. If I hadn’t said that you’d not know this postie is a woman, now on maternity leave and is due at the the end of the year.

Last edited by StiffLegged; 10-14-2022 at 05:07 AM.
10-16-2022, 12:55 PM - 7 Likes   #5036
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Probably a re-post - if so, pl think of a riposte.

Two blondes were walking through a forest, when they chanced upon some tracks. One said 'Oh, look, horse tracks'. The other disagreed, stating 'No, they are deer tracks !' They were still standing arguing when the train hit them.











Now, I have been castigated because that 'joke' was deemed to be sexist - yet at no point did I state the gender of the blondes.

.
10-16-2022, 12:56 PM - 1 Like   #5037
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A friend of mine was doing a survey of the breeding success of Tawny Owls in Scotland, monitoring them by listening for their distinctive calls.








He was a Hoots Monitor.

.
10-16-2022, 01:23 PM - 8 Likes   #5038
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I was only ever at one gender reveal party. It was fine, but slightly mortifying, as I was the only naked person there..
10-16-2022, 06:43 PM - 8 Likes   #5039
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An elderly man walks into a confessional... The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!"
10-21-2022, 05:32 PM - 4 Likes   #5040
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She did not laugh

My wife and I just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary.

When asked what might be a good gift I suggested dueling pistols.

Chris
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