Baptising an Irishman

Dewman · 01-30-2016, 02:07 PM - **1 Like**

BAPTIZING AN IRISHMAN

An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk shouts,..."Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"

The drunk answers,
"No, I haven't found Jesus!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

MPrince · 01-30-2016, 03:19 PM - **2 Likes**

Are you sure the Irishman was drunk?

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.

Or as my brother used to say (and maybe still does) I know my limit, it's just that I pass out before reaching my limit!

---------- Post added 01-30-16 at 05:31 PM ----------

An Irishman living in New York City walks into a bar one day and orders three shots of whiskey. The bartender serves the three shots which the Irishman downs. He pays his tab and leaves.

This goes on every day for a couple of weeks until the bartender says "You know, if you want instead of serving you three shots I could pour you a drink in a bigger glass."

The Irishman says "No, you see, I have two brothers back home in Ireland, and every day I like to have one shot for me and one for each of me brothers. It reminds me of the good times we had growing up."

The bartender says "Okay, no problem".

About a month later the Irishman orders two shots of whiskey instead of three. The bartender serves up the two shots and says "Is everything ok back home? Did something happen to one of your brothers?"

The Irishman says "Oh no, me brothers are fine. It's just that I've decided to quit drinking."

timb64 · 01-30-2016, 06:14 PM - **2 Likes**

Racial stereotyping,it's hilarious isn't it!

Tom S. · 01-31-2016, 06:09 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by timb64

Racial stereotyping,it's hilarious isn't it!

It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes.

Rupert · 01-31-2016, 07:15 AM

Originally posted by Tom S.

It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes.

I grew up with a ton of Black friends.....some of the best friends I have ever had in this world. One thing I enjoyed was their White jokes....they had a million of them and most were hilarious. We seldom think about other races having White jokes....but they do!

Like you, I enjoy any jokes that are not mean spirited or cruel. On the other hand......I don't do Squirrel jokes....squirrels are very sensitive about squirrel jokes and tend to retaliate in ways not conducive to keeping the peace around here.

I got by with this one, but did receive a "Warning" notice from Otis.

Regards!

**csa** · 01-31-2016, 08:14 AM

Originally posted by Tom S.

It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes.

Tom, I agree. Many of the "stereotyping" jokes come from the people that the joke is about. I love good jokes, and when they are in good humor, they are not "putting down" that particular person(s). My sister was a flaming redhead, and she had more jokes about redheads, than most! When jokes become mean or derogatory towards anyone or anything, then they cease to be jokes.

Kath · 01-31-2016, 09:50 AM

The problem is that one person's good humor is another person's put down. Who decides? If you're the "thing" you're joking about, that's your privilege. But if I'm the "thing" you're joking about? Now we're in risky territory.

For the record, I'm Irish and I find drunken Irish jokes offensive. Always have.

It amazes me that these ridiculous stereotypes still exist. Why is it that certain thngs are "okay" to make fun of, yet some are not? How many people here would think some kind of line was crossed if a thread was started like, "So, two fundamentalist christians from Idaho walk into..." that proceeded to make fun of someone else's religion and cultural background? Maybe we should try that and see how far we get before someone steps in.

I see no reason to make fun of other people to enjoy a good joke. Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it.

Last edited by Kath; 01-31-2016 at 10:24 AM.

MPrince · 01-31-2016, 11:12 AM

I'm Irish and have no problem at all with drunk Irish jokes. Or any other jokes for that matter. Life is nasty brutish and short, a sense of humor makes life's hardships easier to bear.

swanlefitte · 01-31-2016, 11:23 AM

There is a man here in New Orleans. When he is about to get cut off he orders shots for his friends sitting at the back table. Once he has them he drinks them all. It works all to often.

Dewman · 01-31-2016, 12:46 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Kath

The problem is that one person's good humor is another person's put down. Who decides? If you're the "thing" you're joking about, that's your privilege. But if I'm the "thing" you're joking about? Now we're in risky territory.

For the record, I'm Irish and I find drunken Irish jokes offensive. Always have.

It amazes me that these ridiculous stereotypes still exist. Why is it that certain thngs are "okay" to make fun of, yet some are not? How many people here would think some kind of line was crossed if a thread was started like, "So, two fundamentalist christians from Idaho walk into..." that proceeded to make fun of someone else's religion and cultural background? Maybe we should try that and see how far we get before someone steps in.

I see no reason to make fun of other people to enjoy a good joke. Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it.

I'm Native American and you have my permission to make all the jokes you want about my culture and heritage. Custer had it comin'!

Tom S. · 01-31-2016, 05:26 PM

Originally posted by Dewman

I'm Native American and you have my permission to make all the jokes you want about my culture and heritage. Custer had it comin'!

There's a pretty funny joke about an artist being commissioned to paint a mural related to Custer's last thoughts but I can't repeat it here....

Rupert · 01-31-2016, 06:40 PM

Originally posted by Kath

Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it.

Have fun

.....I've heard so many jokes about me from Otis that I have total immunity.

Regards!

Dewman · 01-31-2016, 07:05 PM

Originally posted by Tom S.

There's a pretty funny joke about an artist being commissioned to paint a mural related to Custer's last thoughts but I can't repeat it here....

You Tube

indy · 01-31-2016, 08:02 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MPrince

I'm Irish and have no problem at all with drunk Irish jokes. Or any other jokes for that matter. Life is nasty brutish and short, a sense of humor makes life's hardships easier to bear.

I agree completely with your comment.

A baby seal walks into a club...

p38arover · 01-31-2016, 08:25 PM

Originally posted by Kath

For the record, I'm Irish and I find drunken Irish jokes offensive. Always have.

You weren't a fan of Irishman Dave Allen then? I was.

You Tube

Originally posted by Kath

How many people here would think some kind of line was crossed if a thread was started like, "So, two fundamentalist christians from Idaho walk into..." that proceeded to make fun of someone else's religion and cultural background? Maybe we should try that and see how far we get before someone steps in.

You Tube

I love jokes about us Aussies.

01-30-2016, 02:07 PM - 1 Like	#1
Dewman Veteran Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Idaho Posts: 5,492	Baptising an Irishman BAPTIZING AN IRISHMAN An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk shouts,..."Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?" The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

01-31-2016, 06:40 PM	#12
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Kath Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it. Have fun.....I've heard so many jokes about me from Otis that I have total immunity. Regards!

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01-30-2016, 03:19 PM - 2 Likes	#2
MPrince Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: WV Posts: 1,495	Are you sure the Irishman was drunk? An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth. Or as my brother used to say (and maybe still does) I know my limit, it's just that I pass out before reaching my limit! ---------- Post added 01-30-16 at 05:31 PM ---------- An Irishman living in New York City walks into a bar one day and orders three shots of whiskey. The bartender serves the three shots which the Irishman downs. He pays his tab and leaves. This goes on every day for a couple of weeks until the bartender says "You know, if you want instead of serving you three shots I could pour you a drink in a bigger glass." The Irishman says "No, you see, I have two brothers back home in Ireland, and every day I like to have one shot for me and one for each of me brothers. It reminds me of the good times we had growing up." The bartender says "Okay, no problem". About a month later the Irishman orders two shots of whiskey instead of three. The bartender serves up the two shots and says "Is everything ok back home? Did something happen to one of your brothers?" The Irishman says "Oh no, me brothers are fine. It's just that I've decided to quit drinking."

01-30-2016, 06:14 PM - 2 Likes	#3
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Racial stereotyping,it's hilarious isn't it!

01-31-2016, 06:09 AM - 2 Likes	#4
Tom S. Veteran Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: S.E. Michigan Photos: Albums Posts: 4,317	Originally posted by timb64 Racial stereotyping,it's hilarious isn't it! It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes.

01-31-2016, 07:15 AM	#5
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Tom S. It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes. I grew up with a ton of Black friends.....some of the best friends I have ever had in this world. One thing I enjoyed was their White jokes....they had a million of them and most were hilarious. We seldom think about other races having White jokes....but they do! Like you, I enjoy any jokes that are not mean spirited or cruel. On the other hand......I don't do Squirrel jokes....squirrels are very sensitive about squirrel jokes and tend to retaliate in ways not conducive to keeping the peace around here. I got by with this one, but did receive a "Warning" notice from Otis. Regards!

01-31-2016, 08:14 AM	#6
csa Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Montana mountains Posts: 10,133	Originally posted by Tom S. It can be, yes. Some of the best Polish jokes I heard came from a person of Polish descent. Some of the best black humor I've heard came from black performers, and the same can be said for Mexican jokes. And what about blonde jokes? Are they considered racial, because anyone with a bottle of bleach can join that 'race'. It's when the joke turns mean it ceases to be humorous. My wife was Irish and she loved Irish jokes. Tom, I agree. Many of the "stereotyping" jokes come from the people that the joke is about. I love good jokes, and when they are in good humor, they are not "putting down" that particular person(s). My sister was a flaming redhead, and she had more jokes about redheads, than most! When jokes become mean or derogatory towards anyone or anything, then they cease to be jokes.

01-31-2016, 09:50 AM	#7
Kath Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Portland, OR Photos: Gallery Posts: 737	The problem is that one person's good humor is another person's put down. Who decides? If you're the "thing" you're joking about, that's your privilege. But if I'm the "thing" you're joking about? Now we're in risky territory. For the record, I'm Irish and I find drunken Irish jokes offensive. Always have. It amazes me that these ridiculous stereotypes still exist. Why is it that certain thngs are "okay" to make fun of, yet some are not? How many people here would think some kind of line was crossed if a thread was started like, "So, two fundamentalist christians from Idaho walk into..." that proceeded to make fun of someone else's religion and cultural background? Maybe we should try that and see how far we get before someone steps in. I see no reason to make fun of other people to enjoy a good joke. Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it. Last edited by Kath; 01-31-2016 at 10:24 AM.

01-31-2016, 11:12 AM	#8
MPrince Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: WV Posts: 1,495	I'm Irish and have no problem at all with drunk Irish jokes. Or any other jokes for that matter. Life is nasty brutish and short, a sense of humor makes life's hardships easier to bear.

01-31-2016, 11:23 AM	#9
swanlefitte Pentaxian Join Date: May 2015 Location: Minneapolis Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,068	There is a man here in New Orleans. When he is about to get cut off he orders shots for his friends sitting at the back table. Once he has them he drinks them all. It works all to often.

01-31-2016, 12:46 PM - 1 Like	#10
Dewman Veteran Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Idaho Posts: 5,492 Original Poster	Originally posted by Kath The problem is that one person's good humor is another person's put down. Who decides? If you're the "thing" you're joking about, that's your privilege. But if I'm the "thing" you're joking about? Now we're in risky territory. For the record, I'm Irish and I find drunken Irish jokes offensive. Always have. It amazes me that these ridiculous stereotypes still exist. Why is it that certain thngs are "okay" to make fun of, yet some are not? How many people here would think some kind of line was crossed if a thread was started like, "So, two fundamentalist christians from Idaho walk into..." that proceeded to make fun of someone else's religion and cultural background? Maybe we should try that and see how far we get before someone steps in. I see no reason to make fun of other people to enjoy a good joke. Make fun of yourself. Lots of material there and you own every bit of it. I'm Native American and you have my permission to make all the jokes you want about my culture and heritage. Custer had it comin'!

01-31-2016, 05:26 PM	#11
Tom S. Veteran Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: S.E. Michigan Photos: Albums Posts: 4,317	Originally posted by Dewman I'm Native American and you have my permission to make all the jokes you want about my culture and heritage. Custer had it comin'! There's a pretty funny joke about an artist being commissioned to paint a mural related to Custer's last thoughts but I can't repeat it here....

01-31-2016, 08:02 PM - 1 Like	#14
indy Senior Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Indiana Photos: Gallery Posts: 274	Originally posted by MPrince I'm Irish and have no problem at all with drunk Irish jokes. Or any other jokes for that matter. Life is nasty brutish and short, a sense of humor makes life's hardships easier to bear. I agree completely with your comment. A baby seal walks into a club...

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