I totally understand your frustration. You are not feeling appreciated when you try to do something nice to help someone, especially when it takes up extra time you could've spent doing something else. I share your frustration, especially since earlier this year, I did my niece's senior photos after she asked me to do them and I did it for free, even spending money on an Animoto membership so I could do the reveal as an uplifting video for her. Although she kept telling me how much she "loved" them, her actions spoke louder than words. She never showed them on her Facebook. Last month, I found out she had a high school friend photograph her afterwards and she used all of her friend's photos on her graduation announcement and none of mine even though there were 9 slots for photos! In that case, her "thank you" was not enough and I strongly feel what she did was wrong. If she didn't like something, she should've told the truth and we could've gone out again and tried something different. "Thank you" rings pretty hollow when she gets a friend to reshoot and shares those on her FB page, including making one of them her profile pic, and tagging her friend, after I had put so much time, heart, and effort into trying to get her the photos that would still make her happy 30 years from now when she saw them. I was EXTREMELY upset when I saw that and got angrier than I've been in over 30 years. She is lucky she wasn't here when I lost it here at home!
One thing that helps me when dealing with some of life's issues is meditation. I use Headspace and love the service! Just a few days ago, Andy, the man who runs Headspace.com and the voice we hear guiding the meditations, talked about the subject of kindness in one of his daily 3 minute meditations. It really was helpful to me and maybe it will help you. These are my thoughts from right after I did the meditation. (His words are in quotes):
June 17 at 1:21 AM
"We might think that, by being more kind, everything will change. But that’s not always the case. Our role is to continue regardless." Andy, from Headspace
Did my Headspace meditation yesterday afternoon and really liked this one. It's a reminder that when we do things out of kindness, we should not expect any benefit in return - not even a thank you. The purpose of being kind is simply to show kindness regardless of how the other being (person or animal) reacts to it. Andy told the story of a young boy in Asia asking him for a pen. He gave the boy the pen and the boy just took the pen and melted into the crowd. Andy said the whole point of the incident was for him to show kindness by giving the pen to someone who needed it more than he did. If only everyone could realize that, our world would be a much better place!
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I hope you will keep on keeping on. If the person to whom you are replying doesn't appreciate your time and effort to reply, your helpful words will very likely help another person a week, a month, or even years down the road when he or she runs a search for info and finds your post. Hope that helps you feel at least a little better about the situation!
Originally posted by Fenwoodian .
Sometimes a member here will ask me a question on a post. Often it's a newer member (new to photography, younger?) who would like me to clarify what I said, elaborate on it, post supporting photos, or discuss how it might apply to their gear/career.
Usually I take to time to provide a detailed response as was requested (either on the original thread or in a personal message).
I do realize that MANY members here have much more experience with Pentax gear and probably receive many more such requests than I do.
But lately I've been noticing that after taking the time to provide the information requested by the member, that the member who asked for the assistance does not even bother to say "thank you".
Now I'm not a big social media guy, and don't really get this whole "likes" thing, but I've noticed that the members who ask me these questions also rarely ever bother to acknowledge my response with a "like" (which I consider the equivalent of a "thank you").
Sure, the Internet makes one invisible, and it's easy to dispense with simple pleasantries. But after a while it makes one rethink whether it's even worth it or not taking your time to respond to these requests for further information.