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06-22-2018, 11:45 AM - 9 Likes   #1
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A Simple "Thank You" Would Be Nice!

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Sometimes a member here will ask me a question on a post. Often it's a newer member (new to photography, younger?) who would like me to clarify what I said, elaborate on it, post supporting photos, or discuss how it might apply to their gear/career.

Usually I take to time to provide a detailed response as was requested (either on the original thread or in a personal message).

I do realize that MANY members here have much more experience with Pentax gear and probably receive many more such requests than I do.


But lately I've been noticing that after taking the time to provide the information requested by the member, that the member who asked for the assistance does not even bother to say "thank you".


Now I'm not a big social media guy, and don't really get this whole "likes" thing, but I've noticed that the members who ask me these questions also rarely ever bother to acknowledge my response with a "like" (which I consider the equivalent of a "thank you").

Sure, the Internet makes one invisible, and it's easy to dispense with simple pleasantries. But after a while it makes one rethink whether it's even worth it or not taking your time to respond to these requests for further information.

06-22-2018, 11:49 AM - 5 Likes   #2
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I agree wholeheartedly. It would be useful (and not just nice) to get feedback whether or not our responses and suggestions resolved OP's issue(s). Not leaving feedback is discouraging and impolite.
06-22-2018, 11:52 AM - 4 Likes   #3
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I find when posting threads, usually a thread will get 30-50 views before it gets a response, and it's often the same people responding. But I basically have taken the attitude that if I'm enjoying it then what everyone else thinks is their business. The internet is just impersonal, nothing you can do about it.

Ever been a high school teacher? It's pretty much the same.
I find often, if 7 or 8 people answer and sometimes only a few get thanked. I know I answered, I just don't know how much sense my answer made to the person. Sometimes I take the time to give a detailed answer, because the answer interested me and I didn't mind taking the time to think about it an express my thoughts clearly and concisely, but it wasn't what they were looking for.

What can you do?

Bottom line, I don't answer unless the answer interests me, and my interest in the subject and clarifying my own thought is the reward, anything else is bonus. The nice thing about the forum is, even though I may not hit the nail on the head, someone else does. It's not my responsibility. It's a collective responsibility. No sense if getting all personally worked up about it.

I find a lot of the time, my answer makes more sense to people of my age group than anyone else.

Last edited by normhead; 07-21-2018 at 08:03 AM.
06-22-2018, 12:47 PM - 1 Like   #4
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Thanks Fenwoodian.

(You might get more responses if you start charging for advice).

06-22-2018, 12:58 PM - 2 Likes   #5
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I think you're perhaps being a bit oversensitive,we all do what we can and not necessarily for recognition.After all who was it who said "Virtue is its own reward"?

Last edited by timb64; 06-22-2018 at 01:28 PM.
06-22-2018, 12:58 PM - 4 Likes   #6
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I totally understand your frustration. You are not feeling appreciated when you try to do something nice to help someone, especially when it takes up extra time you could've spent doing something else. I share your frustration, especially since earlier this year, I did my niece's senior photos after she asked me to do them and I did it for free, even spending money on an Animoto membership so I could do the reveal as an uplifting video for her. Although she kept telling me how much she "loved" them, her actions spoke louder than words. She never showed them on her Facebook. Last month, I found out she had a high school friend photograph her afterwards and she used all of her friend's photos on her graduation announcement and none of mine even though there were 9 slots for photos! In that case, her "thank you" was not enough and I strongly feel what she did was wrong. If she didn't like something, she should've told the truth and we could've gone out again and tried something different. "Thank you" rings pretty hollow when she gets a friend to reshoot and shares those on her FB page, including making one of them her profile pic, and tagging her friend, after I had put so much time, heart, and effort into trying to get her the photos that would still make her happy 30 years from now when she saw them. I was EXTREMELY upset when I saw that and got angrier than I've been in over 30 years. She is lucky she wasn't here when I lost it here at home!

One thing that helps me when dealing with some of life's issues is meditation. I use Headspace and love the service! Just a few days ago, Andy, the man who runs Headspace.com and the voice we hear guiding the meditations, talked about the subject of kindness in one of his daily 3 minute meditations. It really was helpful to me and maybe it will help you. These are my thoughts from right after I did the meditation. (His words are in quotes):

June 17 at 1:21 AM
"We might think that, by being more kind, everything will change. But thatís not always the case. Our role is to continue regardless." Andy, from Headspace
Did my Headspace meditation yesterday afternoon and really liked this one. It's a reminder that when we do things out of kindness, we should not expect any benefit in return - not even a thank you. The purpose of being kind is simply to show kindness regardless of how the other being (person or animal) reacts to it. Andy told the story of a young boy in Asia asking him for a pen. He gave the boy the pen and the boy just took the pen and melted into the crowd. Andy said the whole point of the incident was for him to show kindness by giving the pen to someone who needed it more than he did. If only everyone could realize that, our world would be a much better place!
===================

I hope you will keep on keeping on. If the person to whom you are replying doesn't appreciate your time and effort to reply, your helpful words will very likely help another person a week, a month, or even years down the road when he or she runs a search for info and finds your post. Hope that helps you feel at least a little better about the situation!


QuoteOriginally posted by Fenwoodian Quote
.
Sometimes a member here will ask me a question on a post. Often it's a newer member (new to photography, younger?) who would like me to clarify what I said, elaborate on it, post supporting photos, or discuss how it might apply to their gear/career.

Usually I take to time to provide a detailed response as was requested (either on the original thread or in a personal message).

I do realize that MANY members here have much more experience with Pentax gear and probably receive many more such requests than I do.


But lately I've been noticing that after taking the time to provide the information requested by the member, that the member who asked for the assistance does not even bother to say "thank you".


Now I'm not a big social media guy, and don't really get this whole "likes" thing, but I've noticed that the members who ask me these questions also rarely ever bother to acknowledge my response with a "like" (which I consider the equivalent of a "thank you").

Sure, the Internet makes one invisible, and it's easy to dispense with simple pleasantries. But after a while it makes one rethink whether it's even worth it or not taking your time to respond to these requests for further information.
06-22-2018, 01:27 PM - 2 Likes   #7
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QuoteOriginally posted by Fenwoodian Quote
.
Sometimes a member here will ask me a question on a post. Often it's a newer member (new to photography, younger?) who would like me to clarify what I said, elaborate on it, post supporting photos, or discuss how it might apply to their gear/career.

Usually I take to time to provide a detailed response as was requested (either on the original thread or in a personal message).

I do realize that MANY members here have much more experience with Pentax gear and probably receive many more such requests than I do.


But lately I've been noticing that after taking the time to provide the information requested by the member, that the member who asked for the assistance does not even bother to say "thank you".


Now I'm not a big social media guy, and don't really get this whole "likes" thing, but I've noticed that the members who ask me these questions also rarely ever bother to acknowledge my response with a "like" (which I consider the equivalent of a "thank you").

Sure, the Internet makes one invisible, and it's easy to dispense with simple pleasantries. But after a while it makes one rethink whether it's even worth it or not taking your time to respond to these requests for further information.
I agree, Dave.

I was brought up to thank people for anything they do for me (and sometimes for others), and to understand why that's important for those people, society as a whole, and even for me. So, I feel the need to say thanks for any feedback and help I receive, and when I offer it, I do so sincerely. Having said that, I'm far from perfect... There are occasions where I lose track of, or completely forget about, threads I started some days, weeks or months ago, so it's possible - not common, but entirely possible - that I miss saying thanks to the occasional respondent.

It was another member (and one of my fellow moderators) @pjv (Peter) who - leading by example - got me into the habit of "liking" posts whenever I read something I appreciate, whether it's information, assistance for me or another member, a humorous or enjoyable post, or something I agree with that deserves support etc. I'm not a fan of social media, so I've never used (nor do I ever intend to use) Twitter, Facebook etc... But the concept of "liking" posts is one I've come to appreciate. I tend to use it on its own quite often, or sometimes in addition to stating my thanks. Used either way, it's a nice feature.

There are a couple of members that I've repeatedly answered questions for who never say "thank you" or click the "like" button. I don't need thanks, but it strikes me as common courtesy to offer it when possible, and repeated failures to do so can demonstrate a lack of that. I've sometimes wondered if I should even bother assisting those members in future, but each time I've concluded that I should - as it's in my nature to help. It costs me nothing, save for a small amount of my time, to answer questions or offer advice here when I'm able to. It's nice if the recipients say "thanks", but even if they don't, I have the satisfaction of knowing I did something to help, and that others might find my responses useful in future

Last edited by BigMackCam; 06-22-2018 at 01:58 PM.
06-22-2018, 01:36 PM - 1 Like   #8
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QuoteOriginally posted by Rondec Quote
Thanks Fenwoodian.

(You might get more responses if you start charging for advice).
How true... How true...

While I don't charge for advice, I do change a nominal amount for lens repairs that I do (mostly adapting lenses to the K mount). Invariably, once I have the lens apart, I find that a bit of additional work is needed (such as CLA type of work). I usually just go ahead and perform the extra work and don't mention it to the customer. I've certainly had nothing but great relationships with all of my customers, and they invariably thank me profusely for the work that I do. Given how happy and grateful they always seem to be, I actually enjoy throwing in the little bit of extra work for no additional charge.

Indeed, a thank you goes a long LONG way!

06-22-2018, 01:50 PM - 3 Likes   #9
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QuoteOriginally posted by Fenwoodian Quote
How true... How true...

While I don't charge for advice, I do change a nominal amount for lens repairs that I do (mostly adapting lenses to the K mount). Invariably, once I have the lens apart, I find that a bit of additional work is needed (such as CLA type of work). I usually just go ahead and perform the extra work and don't mention it to the customer. I've certainly had nothing but great relationships with all of my customers, and they invariably thank me profusely for the work that I do. Given how happy and grateful they always seem to be, I actually enjoy throwing in the little bit of extra work for no additional charge.

Indeed, a thank you goes a long LONG way!
Well I am certain I have learned something from at least one of your posts, so Thank you very much!
Same for you Mike!
06-22-2018, 01:54 PM - 1 Like   #10
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QuoteOriginally posted by SSGGeezer Quote
Well I am certain I have learned something from at least one of your posts, so Thank you very much!
Same for you Mike!
And I've learned much from you, Mike, and Rondec too. A big personal thanks to all of you...
06-22-2018, 01:57 PM   #11
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QuoteOriginally posted by SSGGeezer Quote
Well I am certain I have learned something from at least one of your posts, so Thank you very much!
Same for you Mike!
You're welcome I've noticed that you use the "like" function regularly, Thomas, and I think that's great. I've only been using it for a couple of years now (perhaps even less, I can't recall exactly), and I wish I'd understood its use and value long ago...

QuoteOriginally posted by Fenwoodian Quote
And I've learned much from you, Mike, and Rondec too. A big personal thanks to all of you...
That's good to know, and of course you're most welcome, Dave!
06-22-2018, 03:57 PM - 3 Likes   #12
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Yes, it takes merely seconds to say thank you.

And as Mike says above, I've started a habit of liking posts that are helpful, after all it takes no effort or time.

Also, as far as many views before a reply, I'll often look at a thread and then reply later once I've done some thought.
06-22-2018, 04:45 PM - 3 Likes   #13
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QuoteOriginally posted by Fenwoodian Quote
.
Sometimes a member here will ask me a question on a post. Often it's a newer member (new to photography, younger?) who would like me to clarify what I said, elaborate on it, post supporting photos, or discuss how it might apply to their gear/career.

Usually I take to time to provide a detailed response as was requested (either on the original thread or in a personal message).

I do realize that MANY members here have much more experience with Pentax gear and probably receive many more such requests than I do.


But lately I've been noticing that after taking the time to provide the information requested by the member, that the member who asked for the assistance does not even bother to say "thank you".


Now I'm not a big social media guy, and don't really get this whole "likes" thing, but I've noticed that the members who ask me these questions also rarely ever bother to acknowledge my response with a "like" (which I consider the equivalent of a "thank you").

Sure, the Internet makes one invisible, and it's easy to dispense with simple pleasantries. But after a while it makes one rethink whether it's even worth it or not taking your time to respond to these requests for further information.
There are a few dozen members whose posts I actively seek to read. You’re on the list. This community is just different because most of us give away freely whatever skill or experience we have.

If I had to choose, I would rather someone I helped would then turn around and help someone else than thank me and not pay it forward

But both would be better.

TYVM for being here.

Last edited by monochrome; 06-22-2018 at 04:56 PM.
06-22-2018, 04:58 PM - 3 Likes   #14
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Positive feedback is nice - both the giving and receiving. I think it builds a sense of tangibility to our virtual community. The occasional PM helps too.
06-22-2018, 05:49 PM   #15
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This happens all the time; on a forum, on the street, with your neighbor. There's no way we can guarantee we'll find someone with a few moral principles or education.

I believe that the best thing to do is to not think it too much if we'll get a reward or a "thank youu!" after helping someone else, not just in the forum, anywhere in life, if you enjoy helping —just do it— you feel better anyways, even without a thank you or a like.
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