Originally posted by stevebrot Happily, I am making a good recovery, though with the company of a new best friend, that being a machine that provides me with supplemental oxygen. As a background to the acute illness of these last few weeks lies the solemn truth that my life is colored by a diagnosis with an unavoidable poor prognosis. With greater than about 90% probability, I will not be posting here past sometime in 2021.
i'm sorry to hear about your illness, I often look forward to reading your posts as they often have some little piece of information or a perspective I had not considered. We often take many things for granted: that everyone participating in forum discussion is doing so on equal footing and based upon similar life experiences, but these are all merely assumptions.
Having my own personal health crisis - Being diagnosed in late Feburary 2019 with Type 1 1/2 Diabetes or LADA* as they call it , and a subsequent development of painful and rather rare treatment induced diabetic neuropathy which has spread through my body and affected my hands/feet and caused catastrophic damage to my nerves - the pain from allodynia is unfortunately, only being held back by
powerful opioid painkillers**. I also am undertaking a advanced degree in music at University and I'm in the process of scaling down my responsibilities as a commercial photographer to give more time to devote to my studies. My university studies have unexpectedly brought with it a romantic interest, a part of myself I considered to be burned out. This has been a spur that has aided my recovery, in a fashion that is typical of my attractions he is already taken, he has been in a relationship with a dear friend of mine for over a year now, but I am respectful of their relationship and simply being in his company is enough for me.
Mentally the diagnosis it has been a blow, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and managing things as well as I could. I could manage the diabetes, I'm well aware of my body and I know when it is telling me something is going wrong. I have no phobias over the sight of my own blood or needles*** and I'm thankful for the advances made in electronics that allow for measurement of blood sugars in real-time.
The nerve damage I developed was a real shocker though, the development of allodynia means physical contact such as a handshake, hug, even a kiss, is painful. I'm not happy about being on opioid painkillers, I'm well aware of the risks considering my condition. Fortunately my creative outlets give me a powerful shield against depression which many diabetics have to deal with. Admittedly I have had one or two episodes where my thoughts degenerated into dark places that were admittedly difficult to pull out of. I'm confident have the tools and resources I need to keep myself above that event horizon.
*Latent Autoimmune Diabes of Adulthood . My father was a type 1 diabetic diagnosed in his early 20's. I was diagnosed at age 34 the start of the year - on the same day as my music audition, no less. At least I have the minor satisfaction I had over a decade longer of care free life than my weak, abusive father got.
** which I will point out are actively dangerous for me to take, as they are known to cause fatal hypoglycemic episodes.
*** After working in chemistry labs, using needles to introduce solvents and reagents in Schlenk line reactions is commonplace.