I'd like to thank everyone for their responses.
I just got in from a very long day, and need to rest up before opening the lab an hour early tomorrow morning. So I haven't really had the chance to read them yet.
I will tomorrow, when I have some more energy.



That's a good idea graphic's.
After all I have more room than I know what to do with. Plus her older brother lives 2 minutes from my house, and her sister lives 30 minutes on a good day away.
As an added bonus there's 2 hospitals within a 30 min drive, and good doctors.
However I've already gave her an open invitation, and she's turned it down so far.
We're all hoping that she'll sell her place soon, then just move closer.
At least she'd have help, if she lived closer.
Due to my career, and physical limitations I can't move closer to her, and even if I could I can't help her with what she needs.

Well if she doesn't want to move in with you full time try talking her into a couple of months. Till she gets up and around. You need to be a little more insistent I fear.

[little laker]

My mom finally got released from the hospital a couple of hours ago. She's feeling fine now. I hope that she can stay out a while this time.
A year ago she was the picture of health, for her age. She had just won a couple of gold metals, and I believe a bronze at the senior games. And now she's showing her age.
I guess that no ones immortal

Well if she doesn't want to move in with you full time try talking her into a couple of months. Till she gets up and around. You need to be a little more insistent I fear.

she knows that she'll be better off here. However she'll still stay there until she's forced to leave.

The main reason why the doctors kept her in the hospital so long this time is because she's too stubborn to listen to them
I'm glad that I didn't inherit that from her.

[Ash]

There is no epidemic of ADD. There is an epidemic of doctors diagnosing ADD for the convenience of the parents and the schools. Once the kid is diagnosed, the drugs mellow him out enough that schools can control the behavior more easily and the parents are off the hook totally for having to take any responsibility for how he develops.

Oooh, another cynic.
Like the way you think...

I'll agree this occurs in waves, but you'll find a cluster of family doctors and psychiatrists making this diagnosis most commonly, rather than the entire medical fraternity.

ADD is a clinical diagnosis, and with my own cynical spin, I believe stands for Absence of Discipline Disorder.
There are definite genuine cases of this disorder but is remarkably rare, but ever notice the common theme among most parents of 'ADD' children?

[Ash]

My mom finally got released from the hospital a couple of hours ago. She's feeling fine now. I hope that she can stay out a while this time.
A year ago she was the picture of health, for her age. She had just won a couple of gold metals, and I believe a bronze at the senior games. And now she's showing her age.
I guess that no ones immortal

Hope things have worked out for your mum Stu.
Just saw the thread now...
Perhaps keeping in touch with her frequently may be the way to go just to check on her and make sure her stubborness is not getting her into any further trouble.
God bless, mate.

[Ratmagiclady]

Oooh, another cynic.
Like the way you think...

I'll agree this occurs in waves, but you'll find a cluster of family doctors and psychiatrists making this diagnosis most commonly, rather than the entire medical fraternity.

ADD is a clinical diagnosis, and with my own cynical spin, I believe stands for Absence of Discipline Disorder.
There are definite genuine cases of this disorder but is remarkably rare, but ever notice the common theme among most parents of 'ADD' children?

Actually, there doesn't seem to be one. Not in terms of disciplinary styles. Kids with disciplinarian parents don't have any easier of a time focusing, they just tend to channel it toward aggression. Of course the diagnosis and desire to medicate behavior on certain parts is pretty rampant, and probably unwise, but I still say we ought to look at the overstimulation and toxicity and confinement.

Yes, in America, a lot of parents are working a lot more hours a week than is healthy, leaving it to schools and churches and such to rear their kids for them in part, but that has a lot to do with the 'nuclear family' model that's so convenient to certain economic interests: while we weren't looking, the 'nuclear family' units have lost a lot of their roots in community and *extended* family in a lot of places: without the job security we once took for granted, people have to move around too much for that.

I think we really need to look at what the American lifestyle has mutated into, not just say, "Each and every time this happens it must mean someone isn't whacking their kids enough." All that teaches is that random aggression is part of the chaos. Or 'system' as it happens.

[Parallax]

Actually, there doesn't seem to be one. Not in terms of disciplinary styles. Kids with disciplinarian parents don't have any easier of a time focusing, they just tend to channel it toward aggression. Of course the diagnosis and desire to medicate behavior on certain parts is pretty rampant, and probably unwise, but I still say we ought to look at the overstimulation and toxicity and confinement.

Yes, in America, a lot of parents are working a lot more hours a week than is healthy, leaving it to schools and churches and such to rear their kids for them in part, but that has a lot to do with the 'nuclear family' model that's so convenient to certain economic interests: while we weren't looking, the 'nuclear family' units have lost a lot of their roots in community and *extended* family in a lot of places: without the job security we once took for granted, people have to move around too much for that.

I think we really need to look at what the American lifestyle has mutated into, not just say, "Each and every time this happens it must mean someone isn't whacking their kids enough." All that teaches is that random aggression is part of the chaos. Or 'system' as it happens.

Yep, just look at the teens that were arrested yesterday. They probably moved around a lot. That's why they thought it was OK to pour alcohol on another teen and set him on fire. Just think what horrible people they might have turned out to be if their parents had given them a little discipline and, God forbid, taught them something about morality.

Actually, there doesn't seem to be one. Not in terms of disciplinary styles. Kids with disciplinarian parents don't have any easier of a time focusing, they just tend to channel it toward aggression. Of course the diagnosis and desire to medicate behavior on certain parts is pretty rampant, and probably unwise, but I still say we ought to look at the overstimulation and toxicity and confinement.

Yes, in America, a lot of parents are working a lot more hours a week than is healthy, leaving it to schools and churches and such to rear their kids for them in part, but that has a lot to do with the 'nuclear family' model that's so convenient to certain economic interests: while we weren't looking, the 'nuclear family' units have lost a lot of their roots in community and *extended* family in a lot of places: without the job security we once took for granted, people have to move around too much for that.

I think we really need to look at what the American lifestyle has mutated into, not just say, "Each and every time this happens it must mean someone isn't whacking their kids enough." All that teaches is that random aggression is part of the chaos. Or 'system' as it happens.

Yes there is a common "theme". Super strict parents are no better than the one's that don't discipline at all. They are no better and no worse. Parents today are almost afraid to discipline because of the government. And it shows.

There needs to be a middle ground. You MUST have discipline along with love and nurturing. Parents need to talk to their kids. Parent more importantly must LISTEN to their kids. Not just what they say but also what they imply. And body language. Parents MUST be involved in their kids lives. They must also set the example. They will follow what the parent does.

Job Security? That's a joke. Always has been.

[Steve Beswick]

I think we really need to look at what the American lifestyle has mutated into, not just say, "Each and every time this happens it must mean someone isn't whacking their kids enough." All that teaches is that random aggression is part of the chaos. Or 'system' as it happens.

I am sorry, but you are completely wrong. What a good spanking teaches is that behaving in an inapropriate manner has real consequences. Now before everyone jumps on me I am not condoning the actions of the guy that comes home and wails on his kids for no reason. Obviously the punishment must fit the crime. I also don't condone spankings on a first offence. I can personally count the number of times I spanked my daughter on two hands. If anybody wants to question my parenting style, I will happily introduce them to a 13 year old girl who is respectful and courteous to others, almost always puts others before herself, usually minds her manners, and gets straight A's in the advanced program at school.

[Steve Beswick]

My mom finally got released from the hospital a couple of hours ago. She's feeling fine now. I hope that she can stay out a while this time.
A year ago she was the picture of health, for her age. She had just won a couple of gold metals, and I believe a bronze at the senior games. And now she's showing her age.
I guess that no ones immortal

For what little it's worth, I am sorry your mother and you have to go through this. I have spent the last five years of my life watching my grandmother deteriorate. We are talking about a woman who lived through the depresson, two world wars, was a stewardess for American Airlines back when all of the planes had propellers, and has out lived two husbands. Five years ago she was the final word on any family decision. Now she doesn't even remember that you were coming over, and she usually doesn't want to get out of bed.

Sorry if I have stolen any "thunder" from your thread. I was merely trying to explain how it is that I can relate.

[Ash]

Yes there is a common "theme". Super strict parents are no better than the one's that don't discipline at all. They are no better and no worse. Parents today are almost afraid to discipline because of the government. And it shows.

There needs to be a middle ground. You MUST have discipline along with love and nurturing. Parents need to talk to their kids. Parent more importantly must LISTEN to their kids. Not just what they say but also what they imply. And body language. Parents MUST be involved in their kids lives. They must also set the example. They will follow what the parent does.

Job Security? That's a joke. Always has been.

Good one graphics.
A basic tenant that should be applied first and foremost - and most other things would fall into place...

[Ash]

I am sorry, but you are completely wrong. What a good spanking teaches is that behaving in an inapropriate manner has real consequences. Now before everyone jumps on me I am not condoning the actions of the guy that comes home and wails on his kids for no reason. Obviously the punishment must fit the crime. I also don't condone spankings on a first offence. I can personally count the number of times I spanked my daughter on two hands. If anybody wants to question my parenting style, I will happily introduce them to a 13 year old girl who is respectful and courteous to others, almost always puts others before herself, usually minds her manners, and gets straight A's in the advanced program at school.

Also a good point - although people will swear by different methods that apparently 'work' for their children, some who don't believe in corporal punishment, some who don't spare the rod.

Keeping in mind children don't always have the capacity to reason or act appropriately (OK, sometimes adults don't at times too - but that's beside the point), and thus trying to just talk to a child to stop bad behaviour may not be all that effective...