[areidjr]

Lots of good words of wisdom here. Many of which I heard while growing up. There are a couple that my mother used to say that were quite unique.

If we were to say to Mom "I thought that..." She would say "Thought thought he had to fart and shit his pants."

If we were to aay "I wish I had..." She would say "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first."

Mom was a barrel of laughs

Al's Third Law of Revenge (a variant on Newtons Third Law of Motion): For every action there is an equal, but more violent reaction.

[Rupert]

And these on relationships, communication, life and money:

Better to debate an important matter without settling it than to settle it without debate.

The right word and almost the right word are as different as lightning and the lightning bug.

Don't show your wounded finger - everything will knock up against it.

Cynics are only happy in making the world as barren for others as they made it for themselves.

It's easier to produce two volumes of philosophical writing than to put one principle to practice.

Civilisation is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

The best condition in life is not to be so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.

Nobody works as hard for his money as the person who marries it.

A sure way to get rid of people is to tell them something for their own good.

The greater part of mankind has no other reason for its opinions than that they are in fashion.

Truth in those for sure Ash...butI liked this one in particular....poor old Res showed his and George has been trying to hack it off ever since!

"Don't show your wounded finger - everything will knock up against it."
Regards!

[Rupert]

Yaknow, if we did that, it'd probably beat the crap out of cannoli. But they wouldn't do it till we passed it widdershins so as not to be 'going left.' (Yes, this would be backwards, but what can you do.)

(Actually, come to think of it, when righties get baked, they just do that paranoid thing, don't they?

You can always tell a Fool....but you can't tell them much.

Regards!

[Ash]

Truth in those for sure Ash...butI liked this one in particular....poor old Res showed his and George has been trying to hack it off ever since!

"Don't show your wounded finger - everything will knock up against it."
Regards!

Poor old Rob - I think he finds it hard to take George's sense of humour.

Well I'll end here with an Irish proverb for some light-heartedness before I go away...
"Every man likes the smell of his own fart."


Take care all.

Poor old Rob - I think he finds it hard to take George's sense of humour.

Well I'll end here with an Irish proverb for some light-heartedness before I go away...
"Every man likes the smell of his own fart."


Take care all.

Sense of humor? I was/am serious about an amputation. If I can't have canolli I want amputation. And not one of my own digits. Someone elses.

[res3567]

Sense of humor? I was/am serious about an amputation. If I can't have canolli I want amputation. And not one of my own digits. Someone elses.

Tell you what....I will saw Rupert in half and send him too you (just half) with a bunch of canolli....and if you want the other half.....you are going to hafta ask Festus because he wants it......

[res3567]

Truth in those for sure Ash...butI liked this one in particular....poor old Res showed his and George has been trying to hack it off ever since!

"Don't show your wounded finger - everything will knock up against it."
Regards!

Tell you what....I will saw Rupert in half and send him too you (just half) with a bunch of canolli....and if you want the other half.....you are going to hafta ask Festus because he wants it......

I'll PM the shipping address.

[Rupert]

I'll PM the shipping address.

Don't I get any say in this? Why do you guys want to saw me in half? Oh.....now
I see Res.....you want to send George the half of me that is "full of s*it".......not really a bad idea, but could we use someone else?
Regards!

[Parallax]

................
I see Res.....you want to send George the half of me that is "full of s*it"....

I think that would be either half.


1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend..... but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever..... so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light , would your headlights work?

[res3567]

Don't I get any say in this? Why do you guys want to saw me in half? Oh.....now
I see Res.....you want to send George the half of me that is "full of s*it".......not really a bad idea, but could we use someone else?
Regards!

It is either that or my thumb......

Don't I get any say in this? Why do you guys want to saw me in half? Oh.....now
I see Res.....you want to send George the half of me that is "full of s*it".......not really a bad idea, but could we use someone else?
Regards!

So one half is full of sh*t and the other is full of crap I guess. Kind of 6 of one half dozen of the other isn't it?

[Mike Cash]

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

Not necessarily true. The point at which half are above and half are below is the mean....not the average.

[Parallax]

Not necessarily true. The point at which half are above and half are below is the mean....not the average.

You're right.

[Mike Cash]

You're right.

Of course I am.

As I often tell my kids, any time one of my statements seems not to jibe with reality you may rest assured it is reality which needs to get with the program.