[Rupert]

It's an escape. Just a little arguing among mostly friends. Well except for one anyway. Have a feeling all of us, if we met in person would be great friends. Except for Rupert. Him and those squirrels are a little "strange"

Come on George, you know you love those Squirrels......just think of that rich Squirrel gravy on some big fluffy buttermilk biscuits! And old Rupert...if he didn't keep you straight, you would be trying to get Jesus George into Sainthood......no one (else) would want that....would they?
Regards!

[GoremanX]

which suprisingly has never stopped random people from asking me for help and somehow finding ME trust worthy

I was walking through the WalMart parking lot in Plattsburgh, VT back in December, and this complete stranger (older woman) comes up to me and says "Are you any good at parking cars? I need someone to park my car for me, I'm terrible at parking and I keep missing the spot". She was driving some shiny 2007+ Pontiac Grand Prix GXP. Not only did I not mess up her seat adjustment, but I also parked it backwards so it would be easier for her to get out again.

I guess I just inspire that kind of confidence in people ...or I was the first person she saw at the time. Either way, I've never heard of such a thing. I bet she gets taken advantage of a lot.

[Mallee Boy]

Don't know why I bother with this forum.

ahh, just go with the flow mate, General Talk is a unique place where you need to extend a lot of tolerance, understanding and patience. Interesting though, a bit like the front bar of my old hotel on a Friday night.

To your topic: I actually wrote a lengthy reply before anyone had replied, but killed it.
The first line was....

This will be interesting.!

Who do you trust and why? My response is going to surprise and possibly confuse a few here that have met me. That response is essentially no-one.
Why? I spent 20 plus years in the public 'eye', as the leader of many community & sporting bodies in the small country town I grew up in. That involvement led me to State & National representation.
The hard lesson I learnt along the way was that if you reach a position of prominence everyone wants a piece of you to further their own careers....the higher up the tree you climb the more the personal interest takes over from the community interest.

So therefore now I trust no-one beyond a select group that I have known for a long, long time and shared adversity with.
I do not make friends easily, by my choice, because of that trust factor, I will stand back and observe rather than rush in.

One thing I have found is that it is possible to make "friends" with people that I have never met via this forum, & others, by common interest. Some here will understand that.

I trusted my old dog too, didn't let me down too often...and when she did she had good cause to do so. My horse....never....the bugger was always ready to dump me at the first opportunity.

Good topic for discussion btw.
Cheers.....(& its your buy)....
Grant

[fractal]

If you don't trust anyone in life how can you enjoy it?

For me, having faith in your fellow man goes along way. I'll have to agree with what someone else said on this thread that a sense of humour is a good system for me. People that can't laugh make me nervous. I have travelled throughout Sth. East Asia's dodgiest strips and can usually spot a scam. That is not to say my naivety has not gotten the best of me. I just thought she wanted to kiss me.. It's a little different in Western nations where some deranged psychotic people just want to chat.. they are not out to make money or drug you. Unfortunately society has shunned these people and labled them as dangerous and stated that what comes out of their mouth is rubbish. Then again, you play it by ear.. innocent until proven guilty.

As for work.. it just depends on what you do. I've mostly worked as a truck driver and have not had to worry about snarling, deceiving beasts that back stab you to simply brown nose.

[Gooshin]

If you don't trust anyone in life how can you enjoy it?

For me, having faith in your fellow man goes along way. I'll have to agree with what someone else said on this thread that a sense of humour is a good system for me. People that can't laugh make me nervous. I have travelled throughout Sth. East Asia's dodgiest strips and can usually spot a scam. That is not to say my naivety has not gotten the best of me. I just thought she wanted to kiss me.. It's a little different in Western nations where some deranged psychotic people just want to chat.. they are not out to make money or drug you. Unfortunately society has shunned these people and labled them as dangerous and stated that what comes out of their mouth is rubbish. Then again, you play it by ear.. innocent until proven guilty.

As for work.. it just depends on what you do. I've mostly worked as a truck driver and have not had to worry about snarling, deceiving beasts that back stab you to simply brown nose.

the difference between these 'deranged psychotic' and 'normal', is that normal people can FEEL when the person they are talking to has no desire to listen to them... or atleast not the subject which they have brung up.

Back when i used to take public transit I would get the occasional homeless guy strike up a conversation with me about the weather... as i'm reading a book.

Seriously?

LOL

[daacon]

Time and actions ...... trust can be a fleeting thing ... it can take a long time to build trust and it can be destroyed in a heartbeat ....

Personally I take the approach innocent until proven guilty. There are varying degrees of trust - there is the trust your life with and trust they will do what you ask. Trust is also activity dependant - I went skydiving once - and I trusted the guy who packed my parachute - never seen him since , however it did open

What about online trust ? It is completley different - all my markeplace transactions here , ebay are a sign of trust of sorts. Been burnt only once (ebay) but eventaully got my money back.

I think for most there is no formula , some read people better than others , some get fooled through no fault of their own. Some people are trustworthy and others are not.

I will also trust by association, if someone I trust , trusts someone, I will deal with that person. I am not sure there is any particular quality that I look for. (see time and actions comment)

Now let's get back to political banter and other irrelevant comments

[Ratmagiclady]

the difference between these 'deranged psychotic' and 'normal', is that normal people can FEEL when the person they are talking to has no desire to listen to them... or atleast not the subject which they have brung up.

Back when i used to take public transit I would get the occasional homeless guy strike up a conversation with me about the weather... as i'm reading a book.

Seriously?

LOL

Well, a lot of homeless people just end up losing a lot of their social filters: not a lot of people out there want to talk to *them* unless it's to push religion or something: it can certainly get pretty lonely. We're social creatures, and people still might retain a drive for a normal conversation, even if they've lost touch with what's considered socially-appropriate.

Frankly, being shy and polite isn't always a survival advantage out there. Keeps you out of trouble, but a lot of people, especially if they panhandle, will get pushy.

I try to remember that when approached.

I think trust in general is a pretty complicated thing: it's a foundation of civilization, in fact, ...much of it's based on the idea of 'trust but verify,' ...you certainly can't have a civilization when you don't trust others to behave in a civilized manner, and the institutions and laws (and other people paying attention) are what help make sure that people live up to that.

All the fears and divisions that some are creating in our political life actually are serving to undercut civilization ...by eroding that trust in favor of some sense of social Darwinism.

On a personal level, there are a lot of different levels of trust: and a lot of it's about personal boundaries before it comes to any one big thing. Oftentimes when we say 'trust,' we're really talking 'Predictability,' ...which can sometimes result in getting burned if we rely on any kind of simple scheme... especially if someone with an agenda is claiming some kind of 'borrowed' impeccable virtue.

Usually the people I more-easily find trustworthy are present, show a real capacity for empathy, whether or not they're using it at the moment, and are interacting with you as a human, rather than as some kind of abstraction. They're generally being honest with *themselves:* for most folks, to deceive others requires first deceiving themselves.

[GoremanX]

Back when i used to take public transit I would get the occasional homeless guy strike up a conversation with me about the weather... as i'm reading a book.

Seriously?

LOL

I spent the better part of my youth on the Montreal public transit system, and scrungy-looking guys were always striking up conversations with random people. It's disconcerting at first, but you get so you just expect it. Bu it's ANNOYING when I'm trying to read or play a video game!!! I wish I didn't look so trustworthy

[Parallax]

.........................

On a personal level, there are a lot of different levels of trust: and a lot of it's about personal boundaries before it comes to any one big thing. Oftentimes when we say 'trust,' we're really talking 'Predictability,' ...which can sometimes result in getting burned if we rely on any kind of simple scheme... especially if someone with an agenda is claiming some kind of 'borrowed' impeccable virtue.

Usually the people I more-easily find trustworthy are present, show a real capacity for empathy, whether or not they're using it at the moment, and are interacting with you as a human, rather than as some kind of abstraction. They're generally being honest with *themselves:* for most folks, to deceive others requires first deceiving themselves.

In the immortal words of Jackie Gleason (at the start of every show) And Awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy we go!

[Ratmagiclady]

In the immortal words of Jackie Gleason (at the start of every show) And Awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy we go!

One of these days... Pow. Right into my ignore list?

[Rupert]

They smile in your face.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzjziKqVp6k

Regards Ratlady!

[Parallax]

One of these days... Pow. Right into my ignore list?

O.K., now that was funny!

O.K., now that was funny!

Only because you understood it and didn't need the decoder ring.

[lesmore49]

One of these days... Pow. Right into my ignore list?

That's what you need to do. Ignore.

[Ratmagiclady]

That's what you need to do. Ignore.

Just about everyone else has, after all.
But maybe that's part of the problem.

Mind you, I see the merit in the idea. Daily.

The abuse is because they aren't used to being *called* on anything. Not that they ever *hear* anything.

They want to claim 'authoritay' from out of their miniverse where petty cruelties are 'righteous' and some really sneaky 'librul agenda that might happen someday' is to blame for the fact they *can't face facts.*

Blue's little 'BS meter?' I suspect it's actually a 'guilt meter.'

People don't usually bully out of some kind of sheer meanness. They're afraid of something worse happening to *them.*

Thus, once they get fooled into doing something to someone else, have to make it 'righteous,' or else... They fear that what they feared in the first place, might befall *them.*

So, in order to deny they may have been doing wrong, they make it worse, until they're being led around by the nose by 'Big Lies,' and maybe missing out on the fact that they're no longer in the world the rest of us are... looking for who to blame for the alienation.

Every single one of them will look for excuses to keep up the abuse, to prevent themselves ever having to experience dread 'uncertainty,' which leads to *learning.*

Notice how they go to great lengths of implausibility and nast? Not cause they really think it's *smart,* but because they fear that they might have to face *stupidity.*

Leaving them alone in their separate little world may not be the most compassionate thing to do.

If they want 'forgiveness,' ...they have to stop.

They aren't going to stop, in their own little separate CJ.

Aren't going to stop, anyway, very likely.

Denial creates monsters.

And monsters create denial.


What they're creating here, is a 'monster' ...of me, of you, of any 'librul,' anyone who's *different,* ....cause they're scared little children bullying on the playground.

To remain a scared little child in this world *requires* 'monsters.' And growing up right about now is.... Something that scares a lot of people, clearly.

They have *everything.* Still scared.

So they need to make monsters. Out of whoever is the 'easy target.'

Maybe they've been 'ignored' too long.

Look what happened. To our country.

I think what they're really afraid of, ...Is a 'scapegoat' with a microphone.

What qualities I trust? Someone who's present, aware, *interactive* and of good will. That abstract quality we call 'honor.' It cannot be faked, posed, or demanded.

Never try to con a con. And a con knows, 'You can't con an honest person.' The way to find *trustworthiness* is first and foremost to *be honest, yourself.*

Then, you've got millions of years of instincts working for you, instead of being used against you.