[jeffkrol]

In the spirit of the gun discussion that is now closed and the fact that gun incidents generally end up in the Darwin Awards:


Once again, it's time for the Darwin Awards
Nominees. "The Darwins" are awarded every year to
the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby
removing themselves from the gene pool.

Here is the official 2009 list. Notice the interesting spin
for this year's first place award which comes to us -
from of all places, Arkansas. How surprising is that?

Nominee No. 1: (San Jose Mercury News):
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a
former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to
death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: (Kalamazoo Gazette):

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in
March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a
"farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the
truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he
could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns
clothes caught on something, however, and the other man
found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft.



Nominee No. 3: (Hickory Daily Record):

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death
in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a
ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone
but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which
discharged when he drew it to his ear.




Nominee No. 4: (UPI,Toronto):

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in
a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with
his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the
Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
explaining the strength of the buildings' windows to
visiting law students.. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden
Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was
"one of the best and brightest" (ed note:????)
members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird):

Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird
posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before
having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting
on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV
set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6

A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in
Dunkirk, IN. A Jay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to
check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night
when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs
investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his
parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM.
Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber
muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was
using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder
ignited.

Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario):

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his
condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and
fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing
on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector
Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears
that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony,"
Honer said.


> Finally, THE WINNER!!!: (Arkansas Democrat Gazette):

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the
road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38
early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported
the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston
Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little
Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the
headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a
replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the
fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting
the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly,
and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and
just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently
overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and
striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident but will require extensive
surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will
never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken
clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we
weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his n**s off,
or we might both be dead," stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of
the world, but this is a first for me. I can't
believe that those two would admit how this accident
happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the
wreck, Lavinia ( Poole's wife), asked how many frogs the
boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
Priorities, after all!!

Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their
misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official
Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively
remove himself from the gene pool.

---

Last edited by jeffkrol; 02-08-2010 at 12:03 PM.

[BillM]

Being an electrician, I would consider anyone replacing a fuse with a live
round "half nuts" I stand corrected.

[pingflood]

Most/all of those are urban legends.

[jeffkrol]

Hmmm.. these may be since it seems the "lists" circulated are sometimes questionable.
wouldn't hurt to have proof/disproof of these..
Darwin Awards - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Darwin Awards

[audiobomber]

I always check Snopes.com when I suspect an internet hoax.
snopes.com: 2005 Darwin Awards

[Ratmagiclady]

I've always tried to maintain some humility about these kinds of stories: as someone who's lived by her wits, I may be fated to die by them.

Still.

(snrk. )

[Lowell Goudge]

I hate to disappoint all involved but

nominee number 4 died many many years ago from this and has already been "awarded his prize".

the "winner" was also a known event from prior to the turn of the century, and this has been disproved on mithbusters, where they simulated the supposed scenario

Not quite Darwin Awards material but I think the guy may be working his way up.

A few days ago in the San Francisco area, there was a car jacking. The perpetrator had the words 'why' and 'try' tattooed on his eyelids. Obviously he was soon caught.

[Sailor]

I hate to disappoint all involved but

nominee number 4 died many many years ago from this and has already been "awarded his prize".

the "winner" was also a known event from prior to the turn of the century, and this has been disproved on mithbusters, where they simulated the supposed scenario

Yeah, all of these nominees have shown up on the Darwin list several times for the last 10 years.

Jer

[audiobomber]

Has anyone watched 1000 Ways To Die on Spike TV? Most of those stories seem like bullcrap to me.

[Ratmagiclady]

Yeah, all of these nominees have shown up on the Darwin list several times for the last 10 years.

Jer

Hey, there's those who'll tell you natural selection is forever.

[BillM]

A few days ago in the San Francisco area, there was a car jacking. The perpetrator had the words 'why' and 'try' tattooed on his eyelids. Obviously he was soon caught.

Pretty obvious were he's going too, were do you think the word "bye" will go?

[Sailor]

Yeah, all of these nominees have shown up on the Darwin list several times for the last 10 years.

Jer

While these same nominees show up periodically on the list of the "latest" Darwin awards, my earlier reply suggests - upon re-reading - a denegration of that prestigious achievement. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, my daughters periodically give me books for father's day, all of which I cherish, summarizing the latest Darwins.

To be honest, I've probably been a potential nominee on occasion, but (happily) I never quite made the grade. Indeed, I can think of at least three times during 1965, with an 18-year-old me behind the wheel of a V-8 Mustang, that natural selection was poised with anticipation to do its thing, only to be thwarted at the last minute by some little quirk of physics, which gleefully and invariably trumps biology at every opportunity.

My guess is that most of us have at least auditioned for a Darwin at one time or another; those that haven't certainly lived sheltered lives.

Jer

[Blue]

Various renditions of the .22 LR round as a fuse have been around for ~ 10 years. In the original story, the guy didn't die, he just lost a gonad.

[dosdan]

A few days ago in the San Francisco area, there was a car jacking. The perpetrator had the words 'why' and 'try' tattooed on his eyelids.

Did he have any distinguishing features?

Dan.