What an interesting day this has been. My wife had a rare day off from work, so we decided to get some work done repainting our gazebo. It's been looking drab over the last few years and a good coat of paint will do it wonders. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, perhaps the warmest all year so far.
Driving back home from picking up supplies, this green Honda Civic is over on the right side of the road in the parking lane. Without signaling or making his intention known, he just cuts me off and throws his car into traffic. There was no room for him to do this, but he did it anyways. I hit the brakes and honked the horn, then waved the one-finger salute.
The kid in the Civic looks up in the rear-view mirror, waves his arms like a crazed lunatic, and then SLAMS ON THE BRAKES! What a dumbass! I hit the brakes too, but I'm driving a 6000+ pound 4x4 diesel truck full of paint supplies (and my wife in the passenger seat). Unfortunately, I did not stop in time. There was a minor impact between our bumpers. My truck, of course, was completely unscathed. I've had harder impacts than this on purpose before. But the Honda Civic's rear bumper cover (which is primered, and clearly has been replaced recently) got cracked on the left side.
Oh well, lots of witnesses around jumping on their cell phones, I didn't do anything wrong. So I just sat there and waited for a chance to pull over. But the driver of the Honda Civic gets out of his car in a red fury and stalks over to my truck, rips open my door and starts trying to yank me out of the truck!!! Unbelievable! Meanwhile, he's yelling French crap that translates loosely into: "HOW DARE YOU?!? YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!! I'M F***ING CRAZY!" He's doing this in front of countless witnesses who are already on their cell phones talking to the police! What an idiot!
These kinds of situations are always complicated. I'm not getting physically hurt in any way, the little twerp is making a real fool of himself, and I wasn't intending to go anywhere until the police got there anyways. Do I get out of the vehicle and beat him senseless? Or do I let him go on with his antics in front of everyone?
He made the decision for me when he punched me in the face. I put the truck in Park, undid my seatbelt and stepped out of the truck. Seeing me standing is usually enough to deter most would-be fighters. I'm 6'1", weigh 255 pounds, and I've been an avid mountain biker for 3 years now. Add to that the mounting rage that had to be clearly showing on my face, and I figured the "fight" would end right there. But no, this guy kept trying to hit me in the face over and over again, yelling "Come on! Hit me! I dare you!" over and over (again, in French). Of course, that's probably the worst way to get me into a fighting mood. Anyone begging me to hit him isn't likely to get much action out of me, that's just stupid.
Meanwhile, this kid's girlfriend (or sister, or whatever) gets out of the Civic, walks to the other side of my truck, and OPENS MY WIFE'S DOOR! She starts threatening her and taunting her to fight too! Do all these crazies congregate or something? My wife has serious back problems, and we can't afford her to get injured, so she put on her best acting show and acted terrified. It was actually somewhat laughable, I think she overdid it a bit. But it worked, and the crazy girl left her alone. Instead, she walked around the truck and started KICKING ME!!! What the hell?!? Seriously?
So now I have a crazy kid in front of me trying to punch me in the face, a crazy girl on my left kicking my shins, all in the middle of the street with cars rolling by, tons of witnesses chatting away to the police, and I'm still not sure what the best course of action is. The rage in me wants to flatten the twerp and watch him bleed on the pavement while his girlfriend looks on in horror. The responsible adult in me wants to hold back and wait for the police to arrive so they can witness this for themselves.
Again, the twerp makes the decision for me and HEAD-BUTTS ME IN THE NOSE!!! That's right, he actually thrust his forehead into my nose. I still can't believe it, I never saw it coming. With all those weakling punches he kept trying to land, I never suspected he'd use his forehead as a weapon. I suppose if you don't have any other use for your head, you might as well use it to bludgeon things. He followed this head-butt with another weakling punch to my gut, which I only vaguely felt. Whatever, time to put this whole matter to rest.
I started to throw him head-first into my truck, figuring I could knock him out cold by hitting his head against the fender. But the idiot tripped and fell halfway there, and he collapsed awkwardly on the pavement. I suppose I could've ended it right there, the back of his neck was exposed. But I didn't, it felt cheap. I figured I'd wait 'till he got up again and sock him one then. Meanwhile, some guy ran over from another car across the road and stopped the fight. He got between us and pushed the crazy kid back towards his car, then he stood in my way when I tried to go after the kid. He pointed out that my nose was bleeding profusely, and all I'd do is make things worse for everyone, especially with witnesses all around us.
Eventually the rage subsided and the reality of the situation washed over me... I just got my ass kicked by a lunatic kid in a Honda Civic. I wasn't sure whether to feel embarrassed or proud. Ten years ago, I probably would've jumped right into the fight without hesitation. I would've regretted it sorely afterwards, but I wouldn't have felt any embarrassment. This time I tried to keep a cool head, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
The cops arrived, and of course the kid made up some ridiculous story about me hitting his car on purpose (as if I'd do such a thing, especially with my wife in the truck with me). But all those witnesses who called 9-1-1 corroborated my story and his story made no sense. The police strongly encouraged me to press charges, Their reasoning was that if this guy really is so dangerously violent, he should suffer the consequences. Again, I was torn... I WANT this guy to get his due, but I don't feel enough civic responsibility to want to spend the next 2 years in court just so a judge can agree with me and mete out some lame sentence.
The cops said they'd work on giving the kid a ticket for dangerous driving (slamming his brakes in the middle of the road) and told me I could press charges at any time if I changed my mind. As I drove away, I could hear the kid yelling trying to plead his case.
An hour of my life wasted.
My nose hurts.
I still want to beat the snot out of him...
Last edited by GoremanX; 03-07-2010 at 08:02 PM.