Originally posted by Rupert What about the idea of millions of Catholics just keeping their wallets closed? Is that so hard? I always just assumed they don't really mind the pedo's, you never see any large protests by Catholics, and the cash keeps coming in......if they are happy with their own children being abused, why not just make it the "Will of God" like they have with everything else they want to be "Holy"?
Regards!
Cause the Church historically has simply 'blamed homosexuality' and said, 'No one should speak of this in polite company.' Said, 'It's the victims making it up, the liars... Said everything *you* say, Rupert.
You refuse to admit that anything with a cross or a Bible on it could be so.. wonder what 'evil' could possibly lead people to... Treat children exactly as you treat *me* now.
Yeah, I'm a big girl now. More or less.
When I was a smaller one, I saw it in their eyes... They knew.
They always knew. They were afraid.
Just like you speak.
Same Godsforsaken words, actually. By the Mothers, they thought it was even *protecting* me till they were like, in later years after messed-up shit about it, 'Did you getting raped make you queer? We thought so!"
I was like, "Actually, when you froze and thought that was happening, I was just running my mouth about theology. "
But, ...of all days, I remember the day well. Saw it in their eyes. Whole 'flock.' Knowing what they were complicit in, but which none of the *kids* were allowed to *say*... They *thought* that was what had been happening ..to me... Right while they sat and watched, ...and, thinking, believing so, *froze.*
Saw it all in their eyes. All I knew at the time was, "They were convinced something terrible was happening and dared not move."
I found out their perspective, later.
It's not to say moves weren't put on me, but I wasn't as I was 'supposed' to be, anyway. Wasn't about shame or inhibition or elaborate theology or even thinking what was supposed to be 'on offer' wasn't somehow art of the whole whatever-church-thing-is supposed to be... It just didn't make sense. I was no more emotionally-mature than anyone at that age, but there's been all this stuff going on, and it didn't *make sense.* So I asked.
A lot.
Me and my big mouth, right?
No answers, though. Just..Facing what was supposed to be a community and realizing they were *terrified* of something and for whatever reason *would not get up.* Instead, looked at me funny. I didn't understand fully till later, but I remember.
I came to know that funny look and the words that go with it, Rupert.
Quite well.
You 'wonder' why people hand over their lives and even, their minds and souls, (and holy money) blame the queers, claim 'Obedience to Infallibility,' while you cry out for the same Gods-damnable things to be applied to me and all 'like me' right *here.*
There is a shame of cowardice about all this, Rupert. *That,* I can forgive. If it stops. Justifying it, no. I cannot accept that.
For what my strivings as one human being may be worth to you.
Which I know are not much.
But maybe... You're better than this.
I can't make you be so. Or answer your demands so.
But I can still talk as long as it takes.
And as for that daughter you simultaneously accuse me of not 'really' having any right to have stayed with and of abandoning? When the chips were down, well, let's say I was no sheep. Yaknow. Any metaphorical actions may not necessarily have been strictly legal, if you know what I mean.
Last edited by Ratmagiclady; 04-12-2010 at 02:36 PM.