Forgot Password
Pentax Camera Forums Home
 

Reply
Show Printable Version Search this Thread
02-03-2014, 07:31 PM - 7 Likes   #1
Banned




Join Date: May 2010
Location: Back to my Walkabout Creek
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 2,541
Nikon builds a time machine, and warns: the Pentax FF is a threat!

Japan, February 12th 2014

A day before the official opening of the CP+ 2014 show, Nikon organised a PR event. Mr Kimura, president of Nikon, addressed the assembly.

“We at Nikon believe that any company below our radars willing to challenge our DSLR range in any crucial feature will shift the stability of reality and will cause the rapture in the space-time continuum", mr Kimura was adamant. “In a similar fashion as to what happened with the GR and Coolpix A, but even more severely, that damned FF camera from Pentax may destroy the reality as we should know it, as our contacts warn us".

“Nikon is afraid that Pentax has managed to obtain a technology from the 25th century to advance its market position in the early 21st century. There is no other explanation for many things now happening to Nikon”, their CEO remains firm. “Or shall I put it in other words: Pentax is altering, or erasing the history and the photography as we would know it".

The explanation we've got from Ricoh Imaging about their Pentax plans doesn't sound anything like Nikon's fantastical scenario. In fact, what Ricoh has done with newest improvements in their FF camera development has no ground in film-like science fiction spectacle, but in extremely hard work behind the curtains.

"Yes, we are indeed working on an FF camera, and more specifically, on an A-mount camera that rumours were talking about. It's a totally flawed approach according to tech experts and long time users, and no one in their own mind would think of it as serious. However, we at Pentax believe that is exactly why we're going to do it!".

"We want to surprise our fans and are doing our best. An unorthodox K-01 project was only the beginning, as we have even sillier ideas in our cupboard too!"

So why is the future A-mount camera so threatening? Mr Kawauchi of Ricoh Imaging proceeds to explain.


- A mockup of the future FF camera from Pentax. It will have a Heisenberg’s uncertainty formula engraved on the top plate made from solid chromium.


“As noted by Albert Einstein, Richard Tolman, our doorman Itako Tamagouchi and others, special relativity implies that superluminal, or faster-than-light particles, like tachyons, could be used to communicate backwards in time. And it is exactly what engineers at Ricoh Imaging have done for their next generation of the AF system for the mirrorless A-mount camera.”

“Our FF offering must come with something new and unprecedented. Something others do not have. We already told our FF camera will be like no other. We thought this was just the right card!”, mr Kawauchi added.

The camera will sport the Heisenberg Compensator (HC). HC was a necessary component of the next AF system developed at Ricoh Imaging. The compensator works around the problems caused by the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, allowing the focusing sensors to compensate for their inability to determine both the position and momentum of the target to the same degree of quantum accuracy.

HC ensures that the tachyon eddy fired by the camera remained coherent during readouts, confirm positive lock on subject's future position before it has actually occurred, and no data is lost when clearing the camera's AF buffer from the parallel processing of the immense amount of photon energy readouts to determine the level of their energy, and by their energy their colour, before they even hit the sensor.

When the photons hit the sensor, the energy levels are then compared, and any adjustment is then done on the fly to deliver the superb colour and detail accuracy to the image.

Of course, a careful student of physics would already note that the AF system operating in such a way will receive the lock signal back from the subject before the AF sends the tachyon jet in the first place.

In other words, the image is taken before it even happens.

“We believe this will finally solve the perception problem about the Pentax AF system”, mr Kitazawa asserted smilingly.

However, that is still not the best part of it all: when the user decides to switch off the Heisenberg Compensator, in addition to a series of images that are taken in a continuous burst mode in precise normal causality, user can also capture a burst of images that *could have been possible* to happen in that same time, but didn't.

"We definitely wish to expand the functionality of this feature through firmware upgrades. Just imagine what is possible: in a similar fashion to our SR-induced AA-simulator, user-selectable HC level will enable users various degrees of reality-demosaicing probability effects," mr Kawauchi asserted.

"That is why we warn everyone about Pentax future cameras — they will totally alter the reality as we should know it. Because in our reality, the only way for users to enjoy FF photography is to buy our ever stripped down and cheapened FF DSLRs. But because Ricoh Imaging has already advanced so far, our plans are now being questioned by millions of users. That is not the future we have planned for ourselves", Nikon's president concluded.

"As a counter measure, it's time for Nikon to start building a time machine, go back in time to prevent Pentax producing world’s first SLR”.

— For Silly Pentax Rumours, yours truly


Last edited by Uluru; 02-04-2014 at 01:55 AM.
02-03-2014, 07:39 PM   #2
Marketplace Reseller
Loyal Site Supporter




Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: N. Calif
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 2,600
Best FF post ever.....beats Adam's April fool posting by light years....
02-03-2014, 07:54 PM   #3
Pentaxian
normhead's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near Algonquin Park
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 26,231
Oh, he's joking.... phew....
02-04-2014, 12:29 AM   #4
Banned




Join Date: May 2010
Location: Back to my Walkabout Creek
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 2,541
Original Poster
A joke? Just wait till Feb 12th and see for yourself.

02-04-2014, 01:16 AM   #5
Pentaxian
Clavius's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: De Klundert
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 4,122
Ah joke? Oh... haha... (Stops searching for M42 adapters.)
02-04-2014, 02:32 AM   #6
Site Supporter
Site Supporter
altopiet's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Great Karoo, South Africa
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 1,927
QuoteOriginally posted by Uluru Quote
Japan, February 12th 2014

A day before the official opening of the CP+ 2014 show, Nikon organised a PR event. Mr Kimura, president of Nikon, addressed the assembly.

“We at Nikon believe that any company below our radars willing to challenge our DSLR range in any crucial feature will shift the stability of reality and will cause the rapture in the space-time continuum", mr Kimura was adamant. “In a similar fashion as to what happened with the GR and Coolpix A, but even more severely, that damned FF camera from Pentax may destroy the reality as we should know it, as our contacts warn us".

“Nikon is afraid that Pentax has managed to obtain a technology from the 25th century to advance its market position in the early 21st century. There is no other explanation for many things now happening to Nikon”, their CEO remains firm. “Or shall I put it in other words: Pentax is altering, or erasing the history and the photography as we would know it".

The explanation we've got from Ricoh Imaging about their Pentax plans doesn't sound anything like Nikon's fantastical scenario. In fact, what Ricoh has done with newest improvements in their FF camera development has no ground in film-like science fiction spectacle, but in extremely hard work behind the curtains.

"Yes, we are indeed working on an FF camera, and more specifically, on an A-mount camera that rumours were talking about. It's a totally flawed approach according to tech experts and long time users, and no one in their own mind would think of it as serious. However, we at Pentax believe that is exactly why we're going to do it!".

"We want to surprise our fans and are doing our best. An unorthodox K-01 project was only the beginning, as we have even sillier ideas in our cupboard too!"

So why is the future A-mount camera so threatening? Mr Kawauchi of Ricoh Imaging proceeds to explain.


- A mockup of the future FF camera from Pentax. It will have a Heisenberg’s uncertainty formula engraved on the top plate made from solid chromium.


“As noted by Albert Einstein, Richard Tolman, our doorman Itako Tamagouchi and others, special relativity implies that superluminal, or faster-than-light particles, like tachyons, could be used to communicate backwards in time. And it is exactly what engineers at Ricoh Imaging have done for their next generation of the AF system for the mirrorless A-mount camera.”

“Our FF offering must come with something new and unprecedented. Something others do not have. We already told our FF camera will be like no other. We thought this was just the right card!”, mr Kawauchi added.

The camera will sport the Heisenberg Compensator (HC). HC was a necessary component of the next AF system developed at Ricoh Imaging. The compensator works around the problems caused by the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, allowing the focusing sensors to compensate for their inability to determine both the position and momentum of the target to the same degree of quantum accuracy.

HC ensures that the tachyon eddy fired by the camera remained coherent during readouts, confirm positive lock on subject's future position before it has actually occurred, and no data is lost when clearing the camera's AF buffer from the parallel processing of the immense amount of photon energy readouts to determine the level of their energy, and by their energy their colour, before they even hit the sensor.

When the photons hit the sensor, the energy levels are then compared, and any adjustment is then done on the fly to deliver the superb colour and detail accuracy to the image.

Of course, a careful student of physics would already note that the AF system operating in such a way will receive the lock signal back from the subject before the AF sends the tachyon jet in the first place.

In other words, the image is taken before it even happens.

“We believe this will finally solve the perception problem about the Pentax AF system”, mr Kitazawa asserted smilingly.

However, that is still not the best part of it all: when the user decides to switch off the Heisenberg Compensator, in addition to a series of images that are taken in a continuous burst mode in precise normal causality, user can also capture a burst of images that *could have been possible* to happen in that same time, but didn't.

"We definitely wish to expand the functionality of this feature through firmware upgrades. Just imagine what is possible: in a similar fashion to our SR-induced AA-simulator, user-selectable HC level will enable users various degrees of reality-demosaicing probability effects," mr Kawauchi asserted.

"That is why we warn everyone about Pentax future cameras — they will totally alter the reality as we should know it. Because in our reality, the only way for users to enjoy FF photography is to buy our ever stripped down and cheapened FF DSLRs. But because Ricoh Imaging has already advanced so far, our plans are now being questioned by millions of users. That is not the future we have planned for ourselves", Nikon's president concluded.

"As a counter measure, it's time for Nikon to start building a time machine, go back in time to prevent Pentax producing world’s first SLR”.

— For Silly Pentax Rumours, yours truly
Adam's competition is not for the longest posts but the most....and not in this section!
02-04-2014, 02:47 AM - 1 Like   #7
Pentaxian
Clavius's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: De Klundert
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 4,122
QuoteOriginally posted by altopiet Quote
Adam's competition is not for the longest posts but the most....and not in this section!
Adam's April 1st FF joke was just cruel.
02-04-2014, 03:16 AM - 1 Like   #8
Site Supporter
Site Supporter
altopiet's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Great Karoo, South Africa
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 1,927
Just so that everyone knows, no matter who you are or what BS you post, this month I'll like you so much, you'll probably feel like puking...

02-04-2014, 03:24 AM   #9
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter




Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,450
Checks calendar...scratches head...

Huh?
02-04-2014, 03:28 AM   #10
Site Supporter
Site Supporter
altopiet's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Great Karoo, South Africa
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 1,927
QuoteOriginally posted by dansamy Quote
Checks calendar...scratches head...

Huh?
Don't worry...be happy....AND POST ANY BS TO WIN!
02-04-2014, 10:21 AM   #11
Moderator
Site Supporter
Blue's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Florida Hill Country
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 17,213
QuoteOriginally posted by Clavius Quote
Adam's April 1st FF joke was just cruel.
It took 2 years for the internet to resolve that.
02-04-2014, 10:27 AM - 1 Like   #12
Pentaxian




Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,434
this was awesome,,, I have tears in my eyes,, not sure if it's because the joke is hilarious or the fact that I understand everything mentioned and I just realized how much of a nerd I really am
02-04-2014, 10:37 AM   #13
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
monochrome's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Kirkwood (St. Louis) MO
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 20,602
QuoteOriginally posted by nomadkng Quote
this was awesome,,, I have tears in my eyes,, not sure if it's because the joke is hilarious or the fact that I understand everything mentioned and I just realized how much of a nerd I really am
Yeah, but that's only because you watch Penny on 'The Big Bang Theory.'
02-04-2014, 10:41 AM - 1 Like   #14
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
monochrome's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Kirkwood (St. Louis) MO
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 20,602
Spoiler Alert!!!!

Yeah, yeah. And this is Schroedinger's Cat. It's outside-the-box, sure, and now we know.

Photographed 25 years in the future with a Pentax FF, because all anyone does with a Pentax now that they're finally Wi-Fi enabled is take pictures of Schroedinger's Cats.

02-04-2014, 11:01 AM   #15
Veteran Member
blende8's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Bremen, Germany
Photos: Albums
Posts: 1,495
I've heard that the new lenses supplied with the camera feature a built-in Einstein-Rosen bridge.
Is that true? Can you elaborate on this, please?
Reply

Bookmarks
  • Submit Thread to Facebook Facebook
  • Submit Thread to Twitter Twitter
  • Submit Thread to Digg Digg
Tags - Make this thread easier to find by adding keywords to it!
af, camera, energy, ff, future, nikon, pentax, reality, ricoh, time
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is sending a lens in for focus adjustment worth the time and money? devorama Pentax SLR Lens Discussion 15 04-18-2014 02:36 PM
Seems that a FF Pentax is on the way! penta-mx Pentax Full Frame 45 03-23-2013 11:21 PM
A Pentax FF idea, a unique take on the FF market... theperception2008 Pentax DSLR Discussion 20 10-03-2012 01:07 PM
Would you buy the first FF if it is a K-01 or wait for the FF DSLR? slackercruster Pentax DSLR Discussion 19 07-18-2012 10:09 PM
Fist the Nikon D800, now Sony so is Pentax next with the 36mp FF sensor ? jogiba Non-Pentax Cameras: Canon, Nikon, etc. 19 02-14-2012 10:15 AM



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:14 PM. | See also: NikonForums.com, CanonForums.com part of our network of photo forums!
  • Red (Default)
  • Green
  • Gray
  • Dark
  • Dark Yellow
  • Dark Blue
  • Old Red
  • Old Green
  • Old Gray
  • Dial-Up Style
Hello! It's great to see you back on the forum! Have you considered joining the community?
register
Creating a FREE ACCOUNT takes under a minute, removes ads, and lets you post! [Dismiss]
Top