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12-22-2013, 04:44 PM   #1891
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I see we are at 1891

12-22-2013, 05:27 PM   #1892
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QuoteOriginally posted by dansamy Quote
Well, in non-cheese related news my confused patient was pleasantly confused all night. Which is WAY better than combative!
On my last stay in the hospital (was supposed to be out-patient, woke up in the ICU because of a SNAFU), I got to share a room with one of those 'confused' patients. Every ten minutes, he'd start yelling "help!". Sometimes he was dreaming, sometimes he was delirious, and sometimes he was perfectly alert and doing it for attention. You couldn't tell. After a few hours of that, I was trying to plan an escape and asking myself WWMD (What would MacGuyver do?). In retrospect, I should have done better, but I was tangled up in wires and put off by a lack of pants. Still, I had sheets, pillowcases, three little bottles of shampoo, and two empty gingerale cans. MacGuyver would have found a way to make a disguise, jimmy the lock on the ward, and been out of there. Dragging the IV machine along would have been a challenge, but he would have thought of something.
12-22-2013, 05:29 PM   #1893
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QuoteOriginally posted by Parallax Quote
Even if the goal is to have no goal?
QuoteOriginally posted by Joel B Quote
Failure is not an option!!!
I thought failure was the goal? Nut's I'm going to have to go back a few pages and try to figure this out. I'll be back...
12-22-2013, 05:43 PM   #1894
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QuoteOriginally posted by THoog Quote
On my last stay in the hospital (was supposed to be out-patient, woke up in the ICU because of a SNAFU), I got to share a room with one of those 'confused' patients. Every ten minutes, he'd start yelling "help!". Sometimes he was dreaming, sometimes he was delirious, and sometimes he was perfectly alert and doing it for attention. You couldn't tell. After a few hours of that, I was trying to plan an escape and asking myself WWMD (What would MacGuyver do?). In retrospect, I should have done better, but I was tangled up in wires and put off by a lack of pants. Still, I had sheets, pillowcases, three little bottles of shampoo, and two empty gingerale cans. MacGuyver would have found a way to make a disguise, jimmy the lock on the ward, and been out of there. Dragging the IV machine along would have been a challenge, but he would have thought of something.
This one, while pleasant, spent ALL night crying. ALL night. And forgetting that I had just seen her 10 minutes ago, not the hours ago that she thinks. And that my desk at the nurse's station is literally RIGHT OUTSIDE her door. She's fortunate that I'm a much more patient nurse. Some of my coworkers would have Haldol'ed her by midnight.

12-22-2013, 05:47 PM   #1895
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QuoteOriginally posted by THoog Quote
Nut's I'm going to have to go back a few pages and try to figure this out. I'll be back...
Good luck with that.
12-22-2013, 05:51 PM   #1896
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23C here today, 34C for Christmas.
Will be in the swimming pool after Christmas lunch.
12-22-2013, 06:03 PM - 1 Like   #1897
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QuoteOriginally posted by dansamy Quote
And forgetting that I had just seen her 10 minutes ago, not the hours ago that she thinks.
That was Mr. McCoy. They explained to me that they were keeping an eye on him, but that he wouldn't remember anything for more than ten minutes, so they might not come running. In one of his more lucid periods, he tried to bully ME into calling them for him. When I told him they told me not to do that, he accused me of wanting him to die.

...

Now, I like to think I'm a good person. I try to be a good person. I knew he had a busted spine or whatever, and was halfway out of his mind. But for a split-second, I was torn between "If I wanted you to die, we wouldn't be having this conversation" and "I didn't want to say anything, but now that you mention it...". So I decided to just wait ten minutes for him to forget I was there.
12-22-2013, 06:26 PM   #1898
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We only need 104 posts to hit the goal. Here is a little something you might enjoy. I'll go first and do the first paragraph. Let's write something new from something old.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the forum
Nary a keyboard was stirring, nor even was there a quorum.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that some K3s soon would be there.

The complete text:
QuoteQuote:
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
And if you need a little help with rhymes, you might find this useful: RhymeZone rhyming dictionary and thesaurus

12-22-2013, 06:40 PM   #1899
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I'll overshare medical history instead of writing poetry. I was once the screaming-at-night patient. Had a routine kidney stone procedure but then my bladder decided it didn't want to empty because of the anesthesia they gave me earlier. It swelled, and swelled, then swelled some more. Ouch.
12-22-2013, 06:44 PM   #1900
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QuoteOriginally posted by DeadJohn Quote
I'll overshare medical history instead of writing poetry. I was once the screaming-at-night patient. Had a routine kidney stone procedure but then my bladder decided it didn't want to empty afterwards because of the anesthesia they gave me earlier. It swelled, and swelled, then swelled some more.
Yeah. That's not fun. I don't let my patients go 6 hours without voiding after having had anesthesia. Unfortunately, that sometimes means a midnight call to a surgeon & a catheter at 2am for a patient.
12-22-2013, 06:46 PM   #1901
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QuoteOriginally posted by DeadJohn Quote
It swelled, and swelled, then swelled some more. Ouch.
Burst! Burst! It's gonna blow!!!
12-22-2013, 07:13 PM   #1902
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What the heck happened to the 12 days of cheesy Christmas?? It stopped!!!
And to add my thoughts on hospitals: pain killers good, gowns freeing!!! (will not explain further!!)
12-22-2013, 07:20 PM   #1903
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QuoteOriginally posted by Joel B Quote
What the heck happened to the 12 days of cheesy Christmas?? It stopped!!!
And to add my thoughts on hospitals: pain killers good, gowns freeing!!! (will not explain further!!)
Did you mean "freezing"? Or do you perhaps run down the hallways in celebration of how "free" your nether regions feel in a gown

P.S. Cheese is great but not if I am expected to write poetry about it.
12-22-2013, 07:53 PM   #1904
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QuoteOriginally posted by dansamy Quote
Yeah. That's not fun. I don't let my patients go 6 hours without voiding after having had anesthesia. Unfortunately, that sometimes means a midnight call to a surgeon & a catheter at 2am for a patient.
They'd put one in me for surgery, and the bossy little nurse (not trying to be sexist - she was at least a foot shorter than me) was intensely interested in my bladder function.

Her (think stereotypical Asian Mom): You need to pee!
Me (through clenched teeth): Maybe I could, if you'd leave the room...
Mr. McCoy: Agggh! Somebody! Help me!

I had IV ports in both hands plus whatever other gear handn't been removed, the tubes and wires were tangled so that my right arm was tied to the bed, and the foot of the bed was elevated. It was pretty much impossible to use the jug. I tried to work my way to the right side of the bed and stand up, which woke Mr. McCoy and brought everyone running. Around 2am, one of the nurses untangled the wiring so that I could go into the bathroom, which upset the bossy one who needed to record the results.

Me: I promise I will measure it and let you know.
Mr. McCoy: Agggh! Somebody! Help me!

Like I said, I was seriously considering pulling a MacGuyver and finding some nice quiet place, like the parking deck.
12-22-2013, 07:57 PM   #1905
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On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

10 Fondues melting
9 Gouda wheels
8 Cheesehead fan hats
7 Stilton samiches
6 quesadillas
5 Mac and Cheese
4 Cheese Ravioli
3 French LeBrins
2 Taleggio Doves
And a Parmesian in a pear tree.
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