why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

normhead · 12-04-2015, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by Jean Poitiers

Ever been drive bombed by a Paris pigeon while walking out a Metro station ...

?!

They are "rats with wings" ... and it was a bullseye hit on top of my head, in case I didn't mention that.

I got nailed by a pigeon coming out of the grocery store, and since I had both hands full of multiple bags of groceries, and a shaved head, I had the joy of feeling it run down the side of my face while getting to my car. At least it didn't run into my eye. I swear that little bastard was aiming for me.

I once found bird poop on my car seat in the morning. The window was open a half inch. Did he stick his tiny little butt through a half inch and then projectile poop onto the middle of my seat? Wat wid dat?

Last edited by normhead; 12-04-2015 at 05:23 PM.

Racer X 69 · 12-04-2015, 02:48 PM

Bird droppings?

Hey, out here in the Great Pacific Northwet there are plenty of seagulls, other shore birds, peregrine falcons, osprey, several species of hawks, numerous owls, robins, sparrows, finches, crows, ravens, jays, woodpeckers, starlings (yuck!), and the majestic bald eagle.

They all leave droppings.

The owls not so much, as there regurgitate more than they poop.

The starlings gather in enormous flocks, hang out on signs over the interstate and turn the pavement purple with their berry filled excreta.

And the bald eagles drop loads that would fill a large skillet.

Yeah, we got bird droppings.

**THoog** · 12-04-2015, 02:50 PM

I hear a well-aimed pelican can knock you to your knees...

Parallax · 12-04-2015, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by THoog

why do I have a feeling Rupert will have a relevant picture (that I really don't want to see...)?

Joel B · 12-04-2015, 09:14 PM

Time for more nonsense??

How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past?

stargazer · 12-05-2015, 03:29 AM

Originally posted by Joel B

Time for more nonsense??

How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past?

Are those "angels" made of gingerbread ?

**THoog** · 12-05-2015, 07:00 AM

Originally posted by Joel B

How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past?

Clearly proof of the Paranormal! (if you ask the folks on those "ghost hunters" shows)

sherrvonne · 12-05-2015, 07:02 AM - **4 Likes**

Thought this might go along with y'all's discussion: A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?"
"Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night."
"That's terrible," says the bartender. "What about the hand?"
"Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard again, and a whale came up and bit me hand clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night."
"Wow," says the bartender. "So what about the eye?"
"Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship, and I were lookin out fer rogue waves, and a seagull flew over and pooped right in me eye!"
"Oh man," says the bartender. "And that blinded you?"
"Well no," says the pirate. "But it were me first day with the hook." Lol, had to edit, they did not use word poop!

Joel B · 12-05-2015, 07:47 AM

Originally posted by stargazer

Are those "angels" made of gingerbread ?

Plywood, which tastes just like store bought gingerbread around here!

Originally posted by THoog

Clearly proof of the Paranormal!

Especially since it only showed up in the photo!

Originally posted by sherrvonne

Thought this might go along with y'all's discussion:

Yep, fits right in!

Rupert · 12-05-2015, 09:18 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by THoog

why do I have a feeling Rupert will have a relevant picture (that I really don't want to see...)?

No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear.

Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings?

Regards!

sherrvonne · 12-05-2015, 09:32 AM

Originally posted by Rupert

No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear.

Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings?

Regards!

Yes, you should draw something. We are waiting........ Tick tock tick tock tick tock..........

**csa** · 12-05-2015, 09:39 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by normhead

I got nailed by a pigeon coming out of the grocery store, and since I had both hands full of multiple bags of groceries, and a shaved head, I had the joy of feeling it run down the side of my face while getting to my car. At least it didn't run into my eye. I swear that little bastard was aiming for me.

I once found bird poop on my car seat in the morning. The window was open a half inch. Did he stick his tiny little butt through a half inch and then projectile poop onto the middle of my seat? Wat wid dat?

When I was a mere child, I could get out on a flat roof where lots of pigeons gathered. The sidewalk below was full of droppings. I would wait until someone was walking below, & nail them on top of the head with my watergun. It was funny to watch them start to reach up on top of their head, then stop; thinking it was poop!

It was great entertainment..........until my mom caught me!

Jean Poitiers · 12-05-2015, 09:40 AM

Originally posted by Rupert

No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear.

Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings?

Regards!

Speechless

Parallax · 12-05-2015, 09:52 AM

Originally posted by sherrvonne

Yes, you should draw something. We are waiting..

You have no idea what you've just done!

Parallax · 12-05-2015, 09:56 AM

Originally posted by csa

When I was a mere child, I could get out on a flat roof where lots of pigeons gathered. The sidewalk below was full of droppings. I would wait until someone was walking below, & nail them on top of the head with my watergun. It was funny to watch them start to reach up on top of their head, then stop; thinking it was poop!

It was great entertainment..........until my mom caught me!

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12-04-2015, 02:40 PM	#21316
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	Originally posted by Jean Poitiers Ever been drive bombed by a Paris pigeon while walking out a Metro station ... ?! They are "rats with wings" ... and it was a bullseye hit on top of my head, in case I didn't mention that. I got nailed by a pigeon coming out of the grocery store, and since I had both hands full of multiple bags of groceries, and a shaved head, I had the joy of feeling it run down the side of my face while getting to my car. At least it didn't run into my eye. I swear that little bastard was aiming for me. I once found bird poop on my car seat in the morning. The window was open a half inch. Did he stick his tiny little butt through a half inch and then projectile poop onto the middle of my seat? Wat wid dat? Last edited by normhead; 12-04-2015 at 05:23 PM.

12-04-2015, 02:48 PM	#21317
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,064	Bird droppings? Hey, out here in the Great Pacific Northwet there are plenty of seagulls, other shore birds, peregrine falcons, osprey, several species of hawks, numerous owls, robins, sparrows, finches, crows, ravens, jays, woodpeckers, starlings (yuck!), and the majestic bald eagle. They all leave droppings. The owls not so much, as there regurgitate more than they poop. The starlings gather in enormous flocks, hang out on signs over the interstate and turn the pavement purple with their berry filled excreta. And the bald eagles drop loads that would fill a large skillet. Yeah, we got bird droppings.

12-04-2015, 02:50 PM	#21318
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	I hear a well-aimed pelican can knock you to your knees...

12-04-2015, 03:22 PM	#21319
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by THoog why do I have a feeling Rupert will have a relevant picture (that I really don't want to see...)?

12-04-2015, 09:14 PM	#21320
Joel B Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Barnett MO. Photos: Albums Posts: 2,336	Time for more nonsense?? How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past?

12-05-2015, 03:29 AM	#21321
stargazer Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: France, Annoisin-chatelans Photos: Albums Posts: 109	Originally posted by Joel B Time for more nonsense?? How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past? Are those "angels" made of gingerbread ?

12-05-2015, 07:00 AM	#21322
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Originally posted by Joel B How about an appearance of the ghost of filter flare past? Clearly proof of the Paranormal! (if you ask the folks on those "ghost hunters" shows)

12-05-2015, 07:02 AM - 4 Likes	#21323
sherrvonne Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,975	Thought this might go along with y'all's discussion: A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?" "Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night." "That's terrible," says the bartender. "What about the hand?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard again, and a whale came up and bit me hand clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night." "Wow," says the bartender. "So what about the eye?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship, and I were lookin out fer rogue waves, and a seagull flew over and pooped right in me eye!" "Oh man," says the bartender. "And that blinded you?" "Well no," says the pirate. "But it were me first day with the hook." Lol, had to edit, they did not use word poop!

12-05-2015, 07:47 AM	#21324
Joel B Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Barnett MO. Photos: Albums Posts: 2,336	Originally posted by stargazer Are those "angels" made of gingerbread ? Plywood, which tastes just like store bought gingerbread around here! Originally posted by THoog Clearly proof of the Paranormal! Especially since it only showed up in the photo! Originally posted by sherrvonne Thought this might go along with y'all's discussion: Yep, fits right in!

12-05-2015, 09:18 AM - 2 Likes	#21325
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by THoog why do I have a feeling Rupert will have a relevant picture (that I really don't want to see...)? No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear. Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings? Regards!

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12-05-2015, 09:32 AM	#21326
sherrvonne Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,975	Originally posted by Rupert No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear. Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings? Regards! Yes, you should draw something. We are waiting........ Tick tock tick tock tick tock..........

12-05-2015, 09:39 AM - 1 Like	#21327
csa Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Montana mountains Posts: 10,133	Originally posted by normhead I got nailed by a pigeon coming out of the grocery store, and since I had both hands full of multiple bags of groceries, and a shaved head, I had the joy of feeling it run down the side of my face while getting to my car. At least it didn't run into my eye. I swear that little bastard was aiming for me. I once found bird poop on my car seat in the morning. The window was open a half inch. Did he stick his tiny little butt through a half inch and then projectile poop onto the middle of my seat? Wat wid dat? When I was a mere child, I could get out on a flat roof where lots of pigeons gathered. The sidewalk below was full of droppings. I would wait until someone was walking below, & nail them on top of the head with my watergun. It was funny to watch them start to reach up on top of their head, then stop; thinking it was poop! It was great entertainment..........until my mom caught me!

12-05-2015, 09:40 AM	#21328
Jean Poitiers Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Lost in translation ... Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 18,076	Originally posted by Rupert No picture...but I have been peed on by squirrels enough times that I no longer walk in the Woods of Otis without protective gear. Maybe I could draw you a picture.......you do know I am famous for my outstanding drawings? Regards! Speechless

12-05-2015, 09:52 AM	#21329
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by sherrvonne Yes, you should draw something. We are waiting.. You have no idea what you've just done!

12-05-2015, 09:56 AM	#21330
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by csa When I was a mere child, I could get out on a flat roof where lots of pigeons gathered. The sidewalk below was full of droppings. I would wait until someone was walking below, & nail them on top of the head with my watergun. It was funny to watch them start to reach up on top of their head, then stop; thinking it was poop! It was great entertainment..........until my mom caught me!