[WPRESTO]

Why do they so often play bagpipes at funerals? So attendees will envy rather than feel sorry for the deceased.

[tim60]

Fair go.

Bagpipes are wonderful. Although a bit hackneyed when walking along the Royal Mile, up towards the shack on the hill.

[clackers]

I did like this posted by Bert himself in The Joke Thread:

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bagpipe player's arm?

A: A tattoo.

[Racer X 69]

Cooking what? The tongue or the nettles?

All I'm saying is, let's make animal welfare our priority!

The nettles.

If it was the tongue then that would be detrimental to animal welfare, be it the dog our one of us.

Nettles are very tasty. I learned about the food value as a teenager in the Boy Scouts. We would go on survival campouts, where we were allowed very little. Matches, a string and a safety pin to use for fishing, pocket knife, salt and pepper, water (as much as we wished to carry), one change of clothes, a sleeping bag and a compass.

We had to make our own shelter, collect wood to build a fire for warmth and cooking. And of course we all had to collect and prepare our own food. Only a few of the guys caught any fish in the lake we were camped near. No one was able to snare one of the many rabbits that were everywhere.

In the late summer there was also huckleberries. A tasty tangy sweet treat.

Most of us ate cattail roots, ferns and nettles.

I really liked the nettles and the ferns, but the cattail roots were too fibrous and earthy for my taste.

We did this for 3 days and 2 nights. On the second evening around the campfire the adults brought out c-rations for everyone. Well everything but the cigarettes. The grown ups kept those for themselves. My dad was in the Navy, and everyone in the troop was military, so I think someone raided the storeroom on the base. The rations always hit the spot on that last evening in the wilderness.

Still it was nettles and ferns for breakfast the morning after before we broke camp and went back home.

[Racer X 69]

She cooked it far too short a time and I felt really sick, like I had nails in my throat.

Bummer.

[Racer X 69]

Cooking (boiling) carries away the irritation that causes the ringing in your ears.

I'm all for it!

I see what you did there Otis.

Now get back to your woods, and give Jim the keyboard back.

[MarkJerling]

Bummer.

"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here ...What's the problem, cobber..?"
"I'm on honeymoon in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung right on the you know what by a wasp, and now her you know what has completely swollen up and you know what is completely out of the question - probably for days."
"Bummer, mate..!"
" Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."

[Ex Finn.]

LOL!...

[clackers]

"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here ...What's the problem, cobber..?"
" ... etc

For those not owning a Steve Irwin phrasebook, that's funny!

[Rupert]

I see what you did there Otis.

Now get back to your woods, and give Jim the keyboard back.

I just noticed that......damn little rodent is quick and tricky!

LOL!...

I second that!

Regards!

[ccc_]

For those not owning a Steve Irwin phrasebook, that's funny!

as in...
crikey mate!
I missed that?

---------- Post added 03-02-17 at 06:29 PM ----------

You just reminded me of a vegetable my wife cooked once. Taro stems. The root is a good, normal food. The green stem has a lot of salicylic acid in it and needs to be cooked for a couple of hours to break it into something nicer. She was really pleased when one of her friends gave it to her, she had not eaten it for a long time and did not know how to cook it. She cooked it far too short a time and I felt really sick, like I had nails in my throat.

one of our neighbors were Hawaiian and would have it from time to time

you're lucky
the leaves apparently have the same oxalic acid as rhubarb
we used to poach it in the alleys where the older neighbors grew

well we did until a friend ended up in the emergency room after eating raw stalks and leaves
he said it was the worst thing that ever happened to him
he was wrong, as it turned out

[MarkJerling]

I just noticed that......damn little rodent is quick and tricky!

With the stuff coming out of my keyboard, you'd swear he's been visiting here!

[bertwert]

Rest of the jokes x-posted from joke thread...

Nothing like a few bagpipe jokes to start the day!

Q: What do bagpipers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q. Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.

Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q: Did you hear about the bagpiper who played in tune?
A: Neither did I.

Q: What do you call twenty bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bagpipe players arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Marriage is like playing the bagpipes. It looks easy until you try it.

Why did the bagpipe player cross the road?......I thought while accelerating.

[Ex Finn.]

rhubarb

We used to gnaw on the stalks after peeling off the skin. Little tart, not too bad. Made for a very nice pie or 'Kiisseli".
edit: pretty sure the K3 is not "kiisseli" resistant...

[robtcorl]

kiisseli

making me google again.
one site said it's:
Gluten-free
Wheat-free
Sugar-free
Yeast-free
Soya-free
Dairy-free
Lactose-free
Casein-free
Egg-free
Nut-free
Peanut-free
Vegetarian
Vegan

Sounds friggin' yummy, NOT!