why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

Parallax · 01-01-2018, 02:47 PM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by savoche

So do I

Once upon the time in a far-away land I had settled for the evening in bar chosen more to suit my backpacker wallet than anything else. The choice of drinks wasn't very broad, and as I fancied a glass of Scotch I scanned the shelf for bottles labeled "whisky" rather than "whiskey". At the far end of the lowest shelf I spotted one with a name I had never seen before, but as there are hundreds of labels I didn't think too much of it. The bartender poured me one, I had a sip, and... phoey!

Yep, it was Canadian "whisky". Probably some kind of solvent they get cheaply from the industry - after it's been used

---
Edit: Just looked it up on the 'net:

I guess South Africa doesn't have much in the way of regulations...

I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method:
1 pint of cheap bourbon
1 pint of cheap vodka.
6 packets of saccharin
2 tablespoons vinegar
A dash of alum
Some brown shoe polish (for color)

Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.)
Add the saccharine and alum.
Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved.

**savoche** · 01-01-2018, 03:14 PM

Originally posted by Parallax

I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method:
1 pint of cheap bourbon
1 pint of cheap vodka.
6 packets of saccharin
2 tablespoons vinegar
A dash of alum
Some brown shoe polish (for color)

Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.)
Add the saccharine and alum.
Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved.

The shoe polish is definitely needed for taste as well. And I think your politeness is misplaced in labelling raccoon's urine as 'vinegar'.

**monochrome** · 01-01-2018, 03:37 PM - **3 Likes**

So. January 1. 2018

6o
No Internet
No phone
No cable
Nothing open

Put away XMAS decorations
Took down trees
Swept up needles
Did laundry
Attached Peak Designs strap to K-1
Oiled Boots
Finished Bob Dole’s book of political humor
Watched Jumanji on Blu-Ray
Doing a Jigsaw Puzzle
Panera for dinner

Happy New Year

Racer X 69 · 01-01-2018, 03:50 PM

Bob Dole is a political humorist.

Imagine that.

robtcorl · 01-01-2018, 04:01 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by monochrome

So. January 1. 2018
6o
No Internet
No phone
No cable
Nothing open

Your recent holidays have been very eventful, if that's the correct word.
Hopefully 2018 straightens up and flies right for you.

**monochrome** · 01-01-2018, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Bob Dole is a political humorist.

Imagine that.

Bob Dole has a wicked dry wit, but the book is quotes from other politicians.

Originally posted by robtcorl

Your recent holidays h been very eventful, if that's the correct word.
Hopefully 2018 straightens up and flies right for you.

The more stuff you have the more stuff you have is broken.

But I have to say, between Thanksgiving Day thermostat, the circuit breaker issue and yesterday’s dryer vent deal I was seriously frustrated this morning. ETA <24 hours - area service outage. Got a lot done today and I would have done nothing but nap in front of the TV if it worked.

Did you know recorded TV shows can’t be accessed on an AT&T DVR without internet access? The DVR storage index is in the cloud. The HDD is just data.

EDIT: I just found the massive storage tubs full of lens boxes and accessories I’ve been hunting since they were put away before the wedding July 1st. mrs monochrome stacked the tubs full of baby clothes and toys on top of them. We put the old cribs together yesterday and she wanted to find the mobiles and Little Tikes toys. . .

robtcorl · 01-01-2018, 06:32 PM - **3 Likes**

It is currently 23° F in Granbury Texas.
I have no doubt that Otis, and his army, are burning tires, sending a plume of smoke all the way to heaven.

Parallax · 01-01-2018, 06:35 PM - **6 Likes**

This year just isn't going to be the same.

Rest in peace, James Williams. God bless.

**Ex Finn.** · 01-01-2018, 07:58 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by robtcorl

Blustery 9° F but Bob's baby backs are on the barbie.

Serious hardcore!

**gaweidert** · 01-01-2018, 08:43 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Parallax

This year just isn't going to be the same.

Rest in peace, James Williams. God bless.

Actually he may be looking down laughing a bit. Luckily my Citizen Squirrel Award will protect me as the attacks spread.

You Tube

tim60 · 01-02-2018, 01:01 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method:
1 pint of cheap bourbon
1 pint of cheap vodka.
6 packets of saccharin
2 tablespoons vinegar
A dash of alum
Some brown shoe polish (for color)

Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.)
Add the saccharine and alum.
Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved.

What is the shoe polish for? Is it in memory of Rupert who referred to drinking shoe polish on a number of occasions.

Parallax · 01-02-2018, 07:03 AM

No, it's strictly cosmetic.
Jim preferred his shoe polish straight.

robtcorl · 01-02-2018, 07:07 AM - **1 Like**

It was 7 above when my ribs got sauced yesterday evening. creating a little steam.

bertwert · 01-02-2018, 07:31 AM

THe forecast promised -9°C (16°F) when it turns out it is actually -18°C (0°F)...

**WPRESTO** · 01-02-2018, 07:33 AM

-15 when I took the dog over to her play group this morning.

01-01-2018, 03:37 PM - 3 Likes	#43563
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	So. January 1. 2018 6o No Internet No phone No cable Nothing open Put away XMAS decorations Took down trees Swept up needles Did laundry Attached Peak Designs strap to K-1 Oiled Boots Finished Bob Dole’s book of political humor Watched Jumanji on Blu-Ray Doing a Jigsaw Puzzle Panera for dinner Happy New Year

01-01-2018, 04:09 PM	#43566
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Bob Dole is a political humorist. Imagine that. Bob Dole has a wicked dry wit, but the book is quotes from other politicians. Originally posted by robtcorl Your recent holidays h been very eventful, if that's the correct word. Hopefully 2018 straightens up and flies right for you. The more stuff you have the more stuff you have is broken. But I have to say, between Thanksgiving Day thermostat, the circuit breaker issue and yesterday’s dryer vent deal I was seriously frustrated this morning. ETA <24 hours - area service outage. Got a lot done today and I would have done nothing but nap in front of the TV if it worked. Did you know recorded TV shows can’t be accessed on an AT&T DVR without internet access? The DVR storage index is in the cloud. The HDD is just data. EDIT: I just found the massive storage tubs full of lens boxes and accessories I’ve been hunting since they were put away before the wedding July 1st. mrs monochrome stacked the tubs full of baby clothes and toys on top of them. We put the old cribs together yesterday and she wanted to find the mobiles and Little Tikes toys. . . Last edited by monochrome; 01-01-2018 at 07:07 PM.

01-02-2018, 07:07 AM - 1 Like	#43573
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	It was 7 above when my ribs got sauced yesterday evening. creating a little steam. Last edited by robtcorl; 01-02-2018 at 01:26 PM.

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01-01-2018, 02:47 PM - 3 Likes	#43561
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by savoche So do I Once upon the time in a far-away land I had settled for the evening in bar chosen more to suit my backpacker wallet than anything else. The choice of drinks wasn't very broad, and as I fancied a glass of Scotch I scanned the shelf for bottles labeled "whisky" rather than "whiskey". At the far end of the lowest shelf I spotted one with a name I had never seen before, but as there are hundreds of labels I didn't think too much of it. The bartender poured me one, I had a sip, and... phoey! Yep, it was Canadian "whisky". Probably some kind of solvent they get cheaply from the industry - after it's been used --- Edit: Just looked it up on the 'net: I guess South Africa doesn't have much in the way of regulations... I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method: 1 pint of cheap bourbon 1 pint of cheap vodka. 6 packets of saccharin 2 tablespoons vinegar A dash of alum Some brown shoe polish (for color) Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.) Add the saccharine and alum. Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved.

01-01-2018, 03:14 PM	#43562
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by Parallax I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method: 1 pint of cheap bourbon 1 pint of cheap vodka. 6 packets of saccharin 2 tablespoons vinegar A dash of alum Some brown shoe polish (for color) Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.) Add the saccharine and alum. Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved. The shoe polish is definitely needed for taste as well. And I think your politeness is misplaced in labelling raccoon's urine as 'vinegar'.

01-01-2018, 03:50 PM	#43564
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,068	Bob Dole is a political humorist. Imagine that.

01-01-2018, 04:01 PM - 1 Like	#43565
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by monochrome So. January 1. 2018 6o No Internet No phone No cable Nothing open Your recent holidays have been very eventful, if that's the correct word. Hopefully 2018 straightens up and flies right for you.

01-01-2018, 06:32 PM - 3 Likes	#43567
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	It is currently 23° F in Granbury Texas. I have no doubt that Otis, and his army, are burning tires, sending a plume of smoke all the way to heaven.

01-01-2018, 06:35 PM - 6 Likes	#43568
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	This year just isn't going to be the same. Rest in peace, James Williams. God bless.

01-01-2018, 07:58 PM - 1 Like	#43569
Ex Finn. Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Southern Maryland. Espoo. Kouvola. Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 7,975	Originally posted by robtcorl Blustery 9° F but Bob's baby backs are on the barbie. Serious hardcore!

01-02-2018, 01:01 AM	#43571
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	Originally posted by Parallax I believe Canadian whiskey can be duplicated, or at least approximated, by the following method: 1 pint of cheap bourbon 1 pint of cheap vodka. 6 packets of saccharin 2 tablespoons vinegar A dash of alum Some brown shoe polish (for color) Mix equal equal parts vodka and bourbon. (water will remove flavor as effectively as vodka, but would result in a reduced alcohol content, so vodka is advisable.) Add the saccharine and alum. Add shoe polish while stirring well until the desired color is achieved. What is the shoe polish for? Is it in memory of Rupert who referred to drinking shoe polish on a number of occasions.

01-02-2018, 07:03 AM	#43572
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	No, it's strictly cosmetic. Jim preferred his shoe polish straight.

01-02-2018, 07:31 AM	#43574
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,173	THe forecast promised -9°C (16°F) when it turns out it is actually -18°C (0°F)...

01-02-2018, 07:33 AM	#43575
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,107	-15 when I took the dog over to her play group this morning.