why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:30 PM

Originally posted by savoche

A neighbour of my grandparents could smell death, smell when someone was about to die. My grandfather never liked being around her

Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died.

robtcorl · 12-02-2019, 01:30 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by savoche

So you finished the post post hitting post?

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:31 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by savoche

I've always wanted to visit Australia. Not quite sure why

Come to think of it, it seems I have a thing for islands.
Greek islands
Canary Islands
Zanzibar
The Azores
Cape Verde
Madagascar
São Tomé

Of course, Australia doesn't exist. What better place to hide, eh.

What, no New Zealand on your list???

robtcorl · 12-02-2019, 01:32 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died.

Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe granny was a serial killer?

bertwert · 12-02-2019, 01:34 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died.

Always look on the bright side, plenty of time to say bye!

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by gaweidert

I spent a year undergoing the various stages needed to get a dental implant. One of the step involved a bone graft using ground up cadaver bone. When that procedure was all over the oral surgeon asked me how I was doing. In a soft voice I whispered "I taste dead people." Really cracked him up. BTW the taste was quite bitter as there were antibiotics mixed in the bone.

Love it!

Originally posted by gaweidert

I guess my dating profile would read I enjoy shooting sports, photography and have cannibalistic tendencies. Come to think of it I do rate woman by their nibble factor. Rupert would appreciate that.

Your wife lets you have a dating profile?

Originally posted by gaweidert

On a firearms site that I am a member of the wife of one of the members sees dead people. She sees them wherever they go. Just normal for her.

"Wherever they go"? Being where the wife goes or where the dead people go? Because, I've never encountered someone who see dead people go any decent distance. Their appearance seem to be quite localised. So, this is an interesting twist!

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:39 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by CharLac

Not that I ever paid any of the flat earth stuff any attention; it just occurred to me from that picture, how do the flat earthers explain day and night cycles?

Don't know about flat earthers, but as a cyclist I can confirm that I cycle during the day and the night.

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:43 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

They used to have amazing cough medicine in the olden days Bob. Too bad you can't get your hands on one of those anymore.

'Skilfully combined'

One half teaspoon three... ? Wonder whether that was "Three times a day", in which case the patient may be in a permanent stupor!

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:45 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by robtcorl

Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe granny was a serial killer?

Nah, she moved too slow, plus my aunt who had polio as a child lived with her, confined to a wheelchair, and she ended up living to a ripe old age of 52 so I guess grandma was safe to be around.

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by bertwert

Always look on the bright side, plenty of time to say bye!

I don't think she ever did. She was deeply religious (as people of her era often tended to be) and I think she felt she did not want to interfere with "The Plan". I hope someone interferes if my day is due!

bertwert · 12-02-2019, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by MarkJerling

"The Plan"

The ineffable plan?

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 01:57 PM

Originally posted by bertwert

The ineffable plan?

Something like that. Although, granny would not have approved any such talk!

**savoche** · 12-02-2019, 01:58 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

What, no New Zealand on your list???

Couldn't find it on the map

MarkJerling · 12-02-2019, 02:04 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by savoche

Couldn't find it the map

Yes, we like it that way.

**savoche** · 12-02-2019, 02:07 PM

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Yes, we like it that way.

Sort of answers your question, then

12-02-2019, 01:58 PM - 2 Likes	#72883
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by MarkJerling What, no New Zealand on your list??? Couldn't find it on the map Last edited by savoche; 12-02-2019 at 02:05 PM.

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12-02-2019, 01:30 PM	#72871
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by savoche A neighbour of my grandparents could smell death, smell when someone was about to die. My grandfather never liked being around her Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died.

12-02-2019, 01:30 PM - 1 Like	#72872
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by savoche So you finished the post post hitting post?

12-02-2019, 01:31 PM - 1 Like	#72873
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by savoche I've always wanted to visit Australia. Not quite sure why Come to think of it, it seems I have a thing for islands. Greek islands Canary Islands Zanzibar The Azores Cape Verde Madagascar São Tomé Of course, Australia doesn't exist. What better place to hide, eh. What, no New Zealand on your list???

12-02-2019, 01:32 PM - 1 Like	#72874
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by MarkJerling Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died. Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe granny was a serial killer?

12-02-2019, 01:34 PM - 1 Like	#72875
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,172	Originally posted by MarkJerling Ah yes. Grandma had that too. Except, not a smell so much, but a vision. As you may imagine, it was very upsetting for her as she would be grieving a friend or family member's passing several weeks before they died. Always look on the bright side, plenty of time to say bye!

12-02-2019, 01:38 PM	#72876
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by gaweidert I spent a year undergoing the various stages needed to get a dental implant. One of the step involved a bone graft using ground up cadaver bone. When that procedure was all over the oral surgeon asked me how I was doing. In a soft voice I whispered "I taste dead people." Really cracked him up. BTW the taste was quite bitter as there were antibiotics mixed in the bone. Love it! Originally posted by gaweidert I guess my dating profile would read I enjoy shooting sports, photography and have cannibalistic tendencies. Come to think of it I do rate woman by their nibble factor. Rupert would appreciate that. Your wife lets you have a dating profile? Originally posted by gaweidert On a firearms site that I am a member of the wife of one of the members sees dead people. She sees them wherever they go. Just normal for her. "Wherever they go"? Being where the wife goes or where the dead people go? Because, I've never encountered someone who see dead people go any decent distance. Their appearance seem to be quite localised. So, this is an interesting twist!

12-02-2019, 01:39 PM - 2 Likes	#72877
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by CharLac Not that I ever paid any of the flat earth stuff any attention; it just occurred to me from that picture, how do the flat earthers explain day and night cycles? Don't know about flat earthers, but as a cyclist I can confirm that I cycle during the day and the night.

12-02-2019, 01:43 PM - 1 Like	#72878
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox They used to have amazing cough medicine in the olden days Bob. Too bad you can't get your hands on one of those anymore. 'Skilfully combined' One half teaspoon three... ? Wonder whether that was "Three times a day", in which case the patient may be in a permanent stupor!

12-02-2019, 01:45 PM - 1 Like	#72879
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by robtcorl Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe granny was a serial killer? Nah, she moved too slow, plus my aunt who had polio as a child lived with her, confined to a wheelchair, and she ended up living to a ripe old age of 52 so I guess grandma was safe to be around.

12-02-2019, 01:47 PM	#72880
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by bertwert Always look on the bright side, plenty of time to say bye! I don't think she ever did. She was deeply religious (as people of her era often tended to be) and I think she felt she did not want to interfere with "The Plan". I hope someone interferes if my day is due!

12-02-2019, 01:55 PM	#72881
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,172	Originally posted by MarkJerling "The Plan" The ineffable plan?

12-02-2019, 01:57 PM	#72882
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by bertwert The ineffable plan? Something like that. Although, granny would not have approved any such talk!

12-02-2019, 02:04 PM - 1 Like	#72884
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,422	Originally posted by savoche Couldn't find it the map Yes, we like it that way.

12-02-2019, 02:07 PM	#72885
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by MarkJerling Yes, we like it that way. Sort of answers your question, then