why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

MarkJerling · 08-05-2020, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

On the issue of motor vehicles: I am not very interested in cars. They're noisy, they pollute the air, they take up a lot of space in cities, and I do not enjoy driving them myself.

But should anyone ever make me drive one, I'd like it to be this one:

Or maybe this one:

Actually, now that I think of it, cars are pretty cool. I stand to the rest of my points though.

I'd rather like an old Defender. Although, they have terrible electrics and very little leg room if you're 6'2". I'm not sure I'd like a new Defender. Way too much technology in an offroad vehicle.
But, obviously very capable until things go wrong with the machine's brain.

MarkJerling · 08-05-2020, 04:59 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Mrs. Racer 2.0 has a 2012 Corolla.

It has a wing.

The newest car in our fleet, it has a little 4 cylinder petrol engine, and a 5 speed manual transmission. Pretty peppy, and gets about 45 miles per gallon.

Did I mention it has a wing?

If all goes to plan I may post something new on Sunday.

**Ex Finn.** · 08-05-2020, 05:06 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Did I mention it has a wing?

Nice wing! Wonder if adding a wing to my truck would get it out of the 14 mpg range...?

Racer X 69 · 08-05-2020, 05:15 PM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Way too much technology in an offroad vehicle.

Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea.

Racer X 69 · 08-05-2020, 05:17 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

I would not mind having Sabine show me the ropes.

Sabine Schmitz - The Queen of the Nurburgring - - YouTube

Awesome Mark.

In the rain no less.

Awesome.

Post of the day.

(Hans probably taught her everything she knows)

MarkJerling · 08-05-2020, 05:29 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Awesome Mark.

In the rain no less.

Awesome.

Post of the day.

(Hans probably taught her everything she knows)

Yeah, she's a pretty neat woman.
Sabine even makes vans go fast!

You Tube

MarkJerling · 08-05-2020, 05:33 PM - **4 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea.

Indeed. Now, the old Defender had flat glass all round, because that means, push comes to shove, you can find some glass or plexiglass near anywhere to replace a broken window even in the middle of Africa. The new one - nope.
No more beam axels and it's all fancy independent suspension with airbags and lots and lots to go wrong.

Did I mention - Lots and lots to go wrong? And, because it's a Landrover: Go wrong it will!

Racer X 69 · 08-05-2020, 06:04 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Yeah, she's a pretty neat woman.
Sabine even makes vans go fast!

Sabine Schmitz's Nurburgring Van Challenge Part 2 - Top Gear - BBC - YouTube

You've just been passed by a girl.

In a van.

**rod_grant** · 08-05-2020, 07:45 PM - **4 Likes**

Was Mrs Racer’s wing drilled and filled by Mr Racer?
No, I thought not.

Here in Victoria (Aust), we call the fancier 4x4s Toorak tractors.
Toorak is the elitistmost suburb of Melbourne.
Some of them (some!) might get to the snow, but very few would ever see mud or rocks or unsealed roads.

MarkJerling · 08-05-2020, 08:00 PM - **2 Likes**

Here's the new Defender getting some real use:

You Tube

But look at this gimmicy nonsense! Skip to the 15min45s mark and watch from there:

You Tube

**StiffLegged** · 08-05-2020, 11:03 PM - **1 Like**

Abilities notwithstanding, the new Defender is one of the ugliest new vehicles on the road. Saw one a couple of weeks ago for the first and it made a lasting impression - like a 100 ton boulder would make to a truck. Ugh.

mkgd1 · 08-05-2020, 11:44 PM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea.

You can pick out the phoney jeep owners. They buy the Rubicon package with a Warn winch and oversized tires, but not a sign that the vehicle has ever been off road. No Arizona pinstriping on the sides and immaculate tire sidewalls

---------- Post added 08-05-20 at 11:47 PM ----------

Landrovers are made by the makers of Tetley tea bags. The tea is a better product.

Parallax · 08-06-2020, 05:12 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by mkgd1

You can pick out the phoney jeep owners. They buy the Rubicon package with a Warn winch and oversized tires, but not a sign that the vehicle has ever been off road. No Arizona pinstriping on the sides and immaculate tire sidewalls

Don't forget the hi lift jack mounted within easy reach.

**CharLac** · 08-06-2020, 05:45 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

I would not mind having Sabine show me the ropes.

Sabine Schmitz - The Queen of the Nurburgring - - YouTube

Music to my ears

Racer X 69 · 08-06-2020, 07:05 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by rod_grant

Was Mrs Racer’s wing drilled and filled by Mr Racer?
No, I thought not.

Here in Victoria (Aust), we call the fancier 4x4s Toorak tractors.
Toorak is the elitistmost suburb of Melbourne.
Some of them (some!) might get to the snow, but very few would ever see mud or rocks or unsealed roads.

In the US, Rodeo Drive tractors, or Beverly Hills tractors.

08-06-2020, 05:12 AM - 3 Likes	#79873
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by mkgd1 You can pick out the phoney jeep owners. They buy the Rubicon package with a Warn winch and oversized tires, but not a sign that the vehicle has ever been off road. No Arizona pinstriping on the sides and immaculate tire sidewalls Don't forget the hi lift jack mounted within easy reach. Attached Images

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08-05-2020, 04:57 PM	#79861
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,402	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox On the issue of motor vehicles: I am not very interested in cars. They're noisy, they pollute the air, they take up a lot of space in cities, and I do not enjoy driving them myself. But should anyone ever make me drive one, I'd like it to be this one: Or maybe this one: Actually, now that I think of it, cars are pretty cool. I stand to the rest of my points though. I'd rather like an old Defender. Although, they have terrible electrics and very little leg room if you're 6'2". I'm not sure I'd like a new Defender. Way too much technology in an offroad vehicle. But, obviously very capable until things go wrong with the machine's brain.

08-05-2020, 04:59 PM - 2 Likes	#79862
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,402	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Mrs. Racer 2.0 has a 2012 Corolla. It has a wing. The newest car in our fleet, it has a little 4 cylinder petrol engine, and a 5 speed manual transmission. Pretty peppy, and gets about 45 miles per gallon. Did I mention it has a wing? If all goes to plan I may post something new on Sunday.

08-05-2020, 05:06 PM - 1 Like	#79863
Ex Finn. Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Southern Maryland. Espoo. Kouvola. Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 7,975	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Did I mention it has a wing? Nice wing! Wonder if adding a wing to my truck would get it out of the 14 mpg range...?

08-05-2020, 05:15 PM - 3 Likes	#79864
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,064	Originally posted by MarkJerling Way too much technology in an offroad vehicle. Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea.

08-05-2020, 05:17 PM - 1 Like	#79865
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,064	Originally posted by MarkJerling I would not mind having Sabine show me the ropes. Sabine Schmitz - The Queen of the Nurburgring - - YouTube Awesome Mark. In the rain no less. Awesome. Post of the day. (Hans probably taught her everything she knows)

08-05-2020, 05:33 PM - 4 Likes	#79867
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,402	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea. Indeed. Now, the old Defender had flat glass all round, because that means, push comes to shove, you can find some glass or plexiglass near anywhere to replace a broken window even in the middle of Africa. The new one - nope. No more beam axels and it's all fancy independent suspension with airbags and lots and lots to go wrong. Did I mention - Lots and lots to go wrong? And, because it's a Landrover: Go wrong it will!

08-05-2020, 06:04 PM - 1 Like	#79868
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,064	Originally posted by MarkJerling Yeah, she's a pretty neat woman. Sabine even makes vans go fast! Sabine Schmitz's Nurburgring Van Challenge Part 2 - Top Gear - BBC - YouTube You've just been passed by a girl. In a van.

08-05-2020, 07:45 PM - 4 Likes	#79869
rod_grant Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Wangaratta, Victoria Photos: Gallery Posts: 6,951	Was Mrs Racer’s wing drilled and filled by Mr Racer? No, I thought not. Here in Victoria (Aust), we call the fancier 4x4s Toorak tractors. Toorak is the elitistmost suburb of Melbourne. Some of them (some!) might get to the snow, but very few would ever see mud or rocks or unsealed roads.

08-05-2020, 11:03 PM - 1 Like	#79871
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,611	Abilities notwithstanding, the new Defender is one of the ugliest new vehicles on the road. Saw one a couple of weeks ago for the first and it made a lasting impression - like a 100 ton boulder would make to a truck. Ugh.

08-05-2020, 11:44 PM - 3 Likes	#79872
mkgd1 Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2019 Location: Mohave county Arizona Photos: Albums Posts: 1,076	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Not many of them running off road, more going to the boutique in Beverly Hills and off to Carmel By The Sea. You can pick out the phoney jeep owners. They buy the Rubicon package with a Warn winch and oversized tires, but not a sign that the vehicle has ever been off road. No Arizona pinstriping on the sides and immaculate tire sidewalls ---------- Post added 08-05-20 at 11:47 PM ---------- Landrovers are made by the makers of Tetley tea bags. The tea is a better product.

08-06-2020, 05:45 AM - 1 Like	#79874
CharLac Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2018 Location: Ottawa Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,419	Originally posted by MarkJerling I would not mind having Sabine show me the ropes. Sabine Schmitz - The Queen of the Nurburgring - - YouTube Music to my ears

08-06-2020, 07:05 AM - 1 Like	#79875
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,064	Originally posted by rod_grant Was Mrs Racer’s wing drilled and filled by Mr Racer? No, I thought not. Here in Victoria (Aust), we call the fancier 4x4s Toorak tractors. Toorak is the elitistmost suburb of Melbourne. Some of them (some!) might get to the snow, but very few would ever see mud or rocks or unsealed roads. In the US, Rodeo Drive tractors, or Beverly Hills tractors.

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