why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

**sholtzma** · 12-30-2013, 07:03 AM - **1 Like**

WRONG THREAD! Move to..."Why I will not buy the K-3"

**monochrome** · 12-30-2013, 07:19 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

We have 13,000 people and a surrounding population of about another 3 or 4 thousand, most of whom think Green Acres is a documentary. It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history. We are 35 miles from an Intersate highway. We are 160 miles from anyplace with a greater population. 2 years ago we went to buy a Christmas tree 2 weeks before Christmas and there were none. I could go on but it's not good for my blood pressure.

I thought those were features.`

Where my daughter lives 13,000 people could easily reside on 40 acres.

Parallax · 12-30-2013, 07:24 AM

Originally posted by monochrome

I thought those were features.`

Where my daughter lives 13,000 people could easily reside on 40 acres.

Honestly, sometimes they are. It just depends on my grouch level on any given day.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I lived for 2 years in Southern California, and in NYC for several months so I've seen the other side as well.

**THoog** · 12-30-2013, 07:42 AM

Do what Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill did - get some magazine to declare the area one of the "best places to live". Then everyone will come live there. Then it won't be.

Joel B · 12-30-2013, 07:47 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history

You know you're a redneck when you go to family reunions to look for dates!!

**monochrome** · 12-30-2013, 08:15 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

Honestly, sometimes they are. It just depends on my grouch level on any given day.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I lived for 2 years in Southern California, and in NYC for several months so I've seen the other side as well.

I have a college buddy who lives up there somewhere. His thermometer is a bottle of Stoly on the back porch. When the Stoly freezes it is cold outside. Otherwise not.

Anyone who lives in that sort of place is entitled to a grouch every now and then.

Parallax · 12-30-2013, 08:57 AM

Originally posted by monochrome

I have a college buddy who lives up there somewhere. His thermometer is a bottle of Stoly on the back porch. When the Stoly freezes it is cold outside. Otherwise not.

Anyone who lives in that sort of place is entitled to a grouch every now and then.

I use a weather rock. (small rock suspended by a string.) If the rock is moving, it's windy, if it's not, it's calm out. If the rock is wet it's raining, if it's dry it's not. If the rock is white, it's snowing, if it's hot, it's a hot day, if it's cold, it's a cold day, warm is somewhere in between. WAY better accuracy than any weatherman.

**THoog** · 12-30-2013, 09:07 AM

If the rock is missing - tornado warning!

**jac** · 12-30-2013, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

We have 13,000 people and a surrounding population of about another 3 or 4 thousand, most of whom think Green Acres is a documentary. It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history. We are 35 miles from an Intersate highway. We are 160 miles from anyplace with a greater population. 2 years ago we went to buy a Christmas tree 2 weeks before Christmas and there were none. I could go on but it's not good for my blood pressure.

We have 1,100 people and a surrounding population of zero, most of whom think that Southerns are a separate species. If you back 30-40 years ther is a good chane you were born in a tent or an igluviak (igloo). We're an hour's flight from the territorial capital, Iqaluit, with a population of 8,000 and where you can get beer that was brought in by sealift 6 months ago and has reached it's stale date. I could go on but ...

**jatrax** · 12-30-2013, 10:15 AM

We are in a bit of a resort town, skiing in winter, fishing & hiking in summer. So the population is well, variable. Monday through Friday you can stroll across the main road and wave at the occasional car with people you know. Friday night through Sunday night you might have to wait 5 - 10 minutes just to be able to get your car across the road, don't even think about walking across, you won't make it.

It's the tourist traffic that brings in the money but boy are we glad they go back to the city and leave us alone every Sunday night. And the nearest Walmart is about an hour and half drive........

Originally posted by Parallax

WAY better accuracy than any weatherman.

What's a weatherman?
Our weather is gradually increasing rain followed by gradually diminishing rain. With occasional fog and mist for variability. It's sort of like living under one of those translucent Tupperware bowls. If you go high enough on the mountain you can get above the cloud layer and see the sun. I did it once, it was bright..........

Parallax · 12-30-2013, 10:24 AM

Originally posted by jatrax

What's a weatherman? .....

It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible.

**monochrome** · 12-30-2013, 10:56 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

I use a weather rock. (small rock suspended by a string.) If the rock is moving, it's windy, if it's not, it's calm out. If the rock is wet it's raining, if it's dry it's not. If the rock is white, it's snowing, if it's hot, it's a hot day, if it's cold, it's a cold day, warm is somewhere in between. WAY better accuracy than any weatherman.

If the rock is on the ground those darned Cub Scouts must have messed with the weather rock again.

Driline · 12-30-2013, 11:00 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible.

I see you've worked in television too. We had a weatherman who would still consult the "free" online WX map services even though we spent nearly $150,000 on his own radar and weather gear.

Colbyt · 12-30-2013, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible.

Who also must receive a commission on the milk and bread sold after dramatic weather forecast. I'm so darned tired of the drama queens doing the news and weather.

lukulele · 12-30-2013, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by THoog

Do what Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill did - get some magazine to declare the area one of the "best places to live". Then everyone will come live there. Then it won't be.

Just like Charlotte.......

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12-30-2013, 07:03 AM - 1 Like	#2311
sholtzma Site Supporter Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Salisbury, NC Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,043	WRONG THREAD! Move to..."Why I will not buy the K-3"

12-30-2013, 07:19 AM	#2312
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	Originally posted by Parallax We have 13,000 people and a surrounding population of about another 3 or 4 thousand, most of whom think Green Acres is a documentary. It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history. We are 35 miles from an Intersate highway. We are 160 miles from anyplace with a greater population. 2 years ago we went to buy a Christmas tree 2 weeks before Christmas and there were none. I could go on but it's not good for my blood pressure. I thought those were features.` Where my daughter lives 13,000 people could easily reside on 40 acres.

12-30-2013, 07:24 AM	#2313
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by monochrome I thought those were features.` Where my daughter lives 13,000 people could easily reside on 40 acres. Honestly, sometimes they are. It just depends on my grouch level on any given day. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I lived for 2 years in Southern California, and in NYC for several months so I've seen the other side as well.

12-30-2013, 07:42 AM	#2314
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Do what Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill did - get some magazine to declare the area one of the "best places to live". Then everyone will come live there. Then it won't be.

12-30-2013, 07:47 AM	#2315
Joel B Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Barnett MO. Photos: Albums Posts: 2,336	Originally posted by Parallax It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history You know you're a redneck when you go to family reunions to look for dates!!

12-30-2013, 08:15 AM	#2316
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	Originally posted by Parallax Honestly, sometimes they are. It just depends on my grouch level on any given day. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I lived for 2 years in Southern California, and in NYC for several months so I've seen the other side as well. I have a college buddy who lives up there somewhere. His thermometer is a bottle of Stoly on the back porch. When the Stoly freezes it is cold outside. Otherwise not. Anyone who lives in that sort of place is entitled to a grouch every now and then.

12-30-2013, 08:57 AM	#2317
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by monochrome I have a college buddy who lives up there somewhere. His thermometer is a bottle of Stoly on the back porch. When the Stoly freezes it is cold outside. Otherwise not. Anyone who lives in that sort of place is entitled to a grouch every now and then. I use a weather rock. (small rock suspended by a string.) If the rock is moving, it's windy, if it's not, it's calm out. If the rock is wet it's raining, if it's dry it's not. If the rock is white, it's snowing, if it's hot, it's a hot day, if it's cold, it's a cold day, warm is somewhere in between. WAY better accuracy than any weatherman.

12-30-2013, 09:07 AM	#2318
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	If the rock is missing - tornado warning!

12-30-2013, 10:01 AM	#2319
jac Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Clyde River, Nunavut, Canada Posts: 2,364	Originally posted by Parallax We have 13,000 people and a surrounding population of about another 3 or 4 thousand, most of whom think Green Acres is a documentary. It seems that everyone who's family presence in the area goes back 30-40 years or more is related by blood to everyone else with the same history. We are 35 miles from an Intersate highway. We are 160 miles from anyplace with a greater population. 2 years ago we went to buy a Christmas tree 2 weeks before Christmas and there were none. I could go on but it's not good for my blood pressure. We have 1,100 people and a surrounding population of zero, most of whom think that Southerns are a separate species. If you back 30-40 years ther is a good chane you were born in a tent or an igluviak (igloo). We're an hour's flight from the territorial capital, Iqaluit, with a population of 8,000 and where you can get beer that was brought in by sealift 6 months ago and has reached it's stale date. I could go on but ...

12-30-2013, 10:15 AM	#2320
jatrax Site Supporter Join Date: May 2010 Location: Washington Cascades Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 12,991	We are in a bit of a resort town, skiing in winter, fishing & hiking in summer. So the population is well, variable. Monday through Friday you can stroll across the main road and wave at the occasional car with people you know. Friday night through Sunday night you might have to wait 5 - 10 minutes just to be able to get your car across the road, don't even think about walking across, you won't make it. It's the tourist traffic that brings in the money but boy are we glad they go back to the city and leave us alone every Sunday night. And the nearest Walmart is about an hour and half drive........ Originally posted by Parallax WAY better accuracy than any weatherman. What's a weatherman? Our weather is gradually increasing rain followed by gradually diminishing rain. With occasional fog and mist for variability. It's sort of like living under one of those translucent Tupperware bowls. If you go high enough on the mountain you can get above the cloud layer and see the sun. I did it once, it was bright..........

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12-30-2013, 10:24 AM	#2321
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by jatrax What's a weatherman? ..... It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible.

12-30-2013, 10:56 AM	#2322
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	Originally posted by Parallax I use a weather rock. (small rock suspended by a string.) If the rock is moving, it's windy, if it's not, it's calm out. If the rock is wet it's raining, if it's dry it's not. If the rock is white, it's snowing, if it's hot, it's a hot day, if it's cold, it's a cold day, warm is somewhere in between. WAY better accuracy than any weatherman. If the rock is on the ground those darned Cub Scouts must have messed with the weather rock again.

12-30-2013, 11:00 AM	#2323
Driline Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: IOWA Where the Tall Corn Grows Photos: Gallery Posts: 3,691	Originally posted by Parallax It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible. I see you've worked in television too. We had a weatherman who would still consult the "free" online WX map services even though we spent nearly $150,000 on his own radar and weather gear.

12-30-2013, 11:22 AM	#2324
Colbyt Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Central Kentucky Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,417	Originally posted by Parallax It's a member of a profession which was invented by mystics, astrologers, and palm readers so there would be those next to whom they would look credible. Who also must receive a commission on the milk and bread sold after dramatic weather forecast. I'm so darned tired of the drama queens doing the news and weather.

12-30-2013, 11:37 AM	#2325
lukulele Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Blue Ridge Escarpment, North Carolina, US Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,850	Originally posted by THoog Do what Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill did - get some magazine to declare the area one of the "best places to live". Then everyone will come live there. Then it won't be. Just like Charlotte.......