why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

magkelly · 05-26-2015, 01:02 PM

I gave my Dad a copy of a story I'd written and submitted for publication once. He read half a page and told me not to use so many big words, that no one would like it because they wouldn't be able to understand half of it. For the record the words weren't that sophisticated that anyone with at least a high school education would not have understood them. My Dad technically has a diploma. He finished high school in the military decades ago, but he has no college. He's very much a blue collar kind of guy though he has held white collar jobs. I think I was about 16 at the time.

That was the day when I realized that although my Dad wasn't anywhere near dumb that he was just not as smart as his youngest kid was, or his wife. It was a bit upsetting really. I mean we always like to think both of our parents are as smart as we are, right? But clearly he wasn't. That story it didn't disturb my Mom much at all. She was rather proud of me actually, and yes, it did get published back then in the magazine. It was quite a coup for a high school kid at the time. I made $150 for it which back then was a whole week's pay almost. Clearly the words were not "too big" for the editor....

normhead · 05-26-2015, 01:04 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by robtcorl

Man, this thread can go from dead to crawling with all kinds of useful stuff in nothing flat!

Even Shirley noticed that.

Getting ready for some Canadian Ales from Mill street brewery, the deck calls.

tim60 · 05-26-2015, 01:29 PM

Originally posted by MarkJerling

The last of my prickly pear crop.

Only time I ate them it was in a prickly pear icecream. An innovative Taiwanese food idea. Came in a freezer courier van, delivered from one end of country to the house at the other. How do you guys find the big brown vans compete with that?

---------- Post added 05-27-15 at 06:03 AM ----------

Originally posted by normhead

I don't have that problem... when I was a kid my younger brother got tonsillitis and they decided to take his out. They tossed mine in (or should I say cut mine out) , in a two for one deal.

Surely, that's not fair.

You can eat the icecream anyway. It is nice if you choose the right one.

Parallax · 05-26-2015, 01:38 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Jean Poitiers

Call me "Shirley" nevermore !!!

That should be Quoth Shirley "nevermore".

normhead · 05-26-2015, 01:41 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

That should be Quoth Shirley "nevermore".

Can you become "the Shirley"? As in- Quoth the Shirley "nevermore".

"the Surely you jest" doesn't quite work.

tim60 · 05-26-2015, 01:42 PM

Originally posted by magkelly

I gave my Dad a copy of a story I'd written and submitted for publication once. He read half a page and told me not to use so many big words, that no one would like it because they wouldn't be able to understand half of it.

I sometimes say things like that, usually associated with discourse on the benefits of Anglo-Saxon short words rather than the later accretions of grand pomposity which are harder to understand.

Parallax · 05-26-2015, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by normhead

Can you become "the Shirley"? As in- Quoth the Shirley "nevermore".

"the Surely you jest" doesn't quite work.

Hm, I think I see what you're saying. How about Quoth Shirley "Call me 'Shirley' nevermore !!!'?
Does that work?

normhead · 05-26-2015, 03:13 PM

Originally posted by Parallax

Hm, I think I see what you're saying. How about Quoth Shirley "Call me 'Shirley' nevermore !!!'?
Does that work?

''We might have to sleep on it, this is heavy stuff.

robtcorl · 05-26-2015, 03:27 PM

Quicksand · 05-26-2015, 04:02 PM

Originally posted by rod_grant

Speaking of ribs...
I half heard a conversation on a rural radio show today:- The question has been raised that as pork ribs are now dearer than pork shoulder, the aim is for longer pigs (that is, with more ribs!!)
...and a breeder has been working on it for some years.

I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well.

**Ex Finn.** · 05-26-2015, 04:30 PM

Will be back...
So the Root Beer really sucks...

MarkJerling · 05-26-2015, 04:32 PM

Originally posted by tim60

Only time I ate them it was in a prickly pear icecream. An innovative Taiwanese food idea. Came in a freezer courier van, delivered from one end of country to the house at the other. How do you guys find the big brown vans compete with that?

Big brown vans? Do they come with straitjackets?

---------- Post added 05-27-15 at 11:33 AM ----------

Originally posted by Quicksand

I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well.

If we start seeing pictures of Long Pig on these pages, I'm leaving!

**clackers** · 05-26-2015, 04:38 PM

Originally posted by magkelly

The Cask is a good story, one of his best, but I prefer The Masque of the Red Death to that.

A great ideas guy, MK ... but that prose style is the opposite of what's usually taught as good writing these days (Hemingway et al).

Amongst horror writers, Lovecraft had the same problem.

magkelly · 05-26-2015, 04:38 PM

Originally posted by Quicksand

I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well.

Hannibal fan?

**clackers** · 05-26-2015, 04:39 PM

Originally posted by tim60

I sometimes say things like that, usually associated with discourse on the benefits of Anglo-Saxon short words rather than the later accretions of grand pomposity which are harder to understand.

If you stand in the outer of a football game you can hear those Anglo-Saxon short words getting a real workout, Tim! :-)

05-26-2015, 01:04 PM - 1 Like	#17357
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	Originally posted by robtcorl Man, this thread can go from dead to crawling with all kinds of useful stuff in nothing flat! Even Shirley noticed that. Getting ready for some Canadian Ales from Mill street brewery, the deck calls. Last edited by normhead; 05-26-2015 at 01:18 PM.

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05-26-2015, 01:02 PM	#17356
magkelly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Photos: Gallery Posts: 5,901	I gave my Dad a copy of a story I'd written and submitted for publication once. He read half a page and told me not to use so many big words, that no one would like it because they wouldn't be able to understand half of it. For the record the words weren't that sophisticated that anyone with at least a high school education would not have understood them. My Dad technically has a diploma. He finished high school in the military decades ago, but he has no college. He's very much a blue collar kind of guy though he has held white collar jobs. I think I was about 16 at the time. That was the day when I realized that although my Dad wasn't anywhere near dumb that he was just not as smart as his youngest kid was, or his wife. It was a bit upsetting really. I mean we always like to think both of our parents are as smart as we are, right? But clearly he wasn't. That story it didn't disturb my Mom much at all. She was rather proud of me actually, and yes, it did get published back then in the magazine. It was quite a coup for a high school kid at the time. I made $150 for it which back then was a whole week's pay almost. Clearly the words were not "too big" for the editor....

05-26-2015, 01:29 PM	#17358
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,757	Originally posted by MarkJerling The last of my prickly pear crop. Only time I ate them it was in a prickly pear icecream. An innovative Taiwanese food idea. Came in a freezer courier van, delivered from one end of country to the house at the other. How do you guys find the big brown vans compete with that? ---------- Post added 05-27-15 at 06:03 AM ---------- Originally posted by normhead I don't have that problem... when I was a kid my younger brother got tonsillitis and they decided to take his out. They tossed mine in (or should I say cut mine out) , in a two for one deal. Surely, that's not fair. You can eat the icecream anyway. It is nice if you choose the right one.

05-26-2015, 01:38 PM - 1 Like	#17359
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Originally posted by Jean Poitiers Call me "Shirley" nevermore !!! That should be Quoth Shirley "nevermore".

05-26-2015, 01:41 PM - 1 Like	#17360
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	Originally posted by Parallax That should be Quoth Shirley "nevermore". Can you become "the Shirley"? As in- Quoth the Shirley "nevermore". "the Surely you jest" doesn't quite work.

05-26-2015, 01:42 PM	#17361
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,757	Originally posted by magkelly I gave my Dad a copy of a story I'd written and submitted for publication once. He read half a page and told me not to use so many big words, that no one would like it because they wouldn't be able to understand half of it. I sometimes say things like that, usually associated with discourse on the benefits of Anglo-Saxon short words rather than the later accretions of grand pomposity which are harder to understand.

05-26-2015, 01:55 PM	#17362
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Originally posted by normhead Can you become "the Shirley"? As in- Quoth the Shirley "nevermore". "the Surely you jest" doesn't quite work. Hm, I think I see what you're saying. How about Quoth Shirley "Call me 'Shirley' nevermore !!!'? Does that work?

05-26-2015, 03:13 PM	#17363
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	Originally posted by Parallax Hm, I think I see what you're saying. How about Quoth Shirley "Call me 'Shirley' nevermore !!!'? Does that work? ''We might have to sleep on it, this is heavy stuff.

05-26-2015, 03:27 PM	#17364
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606

05-26-2015, 04:02 PM	#17365
Quicksand Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Central Ohio (formerly SF Bay Area) Posts: 1,519	Originally posted by rod_grant Speaking of ribs... I half heard a conversation on a rural radio show today:- The question has been raised that as pork ribs are now dearer than pork shoulder, the aim is for longer pigs (that is, with more ribs!!) ...and a breeder has been working on it for some years. I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well.

05-26-2015, 04:32 PM	#17367
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	Originally posted by tim60 Only time I ate them it was in a prickly pear icecream. An innovative Taiwanese food idea. Came in a freezer courier van, delivered from one end of country to the house at the other. How do you guys find the big brown vans compete with that? Big brown vans? Do they come with straitjackets? ---------- Post added 05-27-15 at 11:33 AM ---------- Originally posted by Quicksand I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well. If we start seeing pictures of Long Pig on these pages, I'm leaving!

05-26-2015, 04:38 PM	#17368
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by magkelly The Cask is a good story, one of his best, but I prefer The Masque of the Red Death to that. A great ideas guy, MK ... but that prose style is the opposite of what's usually taught as good writing these days (Hemingway et al). Amongst horror writers, Lovecraft had the same problem.

05-26-2015, 04:38 PM	#17369
magkelly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Photos: Gallery Posts: 5,901	Originally posted by Quicksand I hear Long Pig is pretty tasty, at least if it's prepared well. Hannibal fan?

05-26-2015, 04:39 PM	#17370
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by tim60 I sometimes say things like that, usually associated with discourse on the benefits of Anglo-Saxon short words rather than the later accretions of grand pomposity which are harder to understand. If you stand in the outer of a football game you can hear those Anglo-Saxon short words getting a real workout, Tim! :-)