why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

**savoche** · 12-30-2015, 02:27 PM - **1 Like**

Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant.

So be sure to get the right (err, or left?) ear!

Jean Poitiers · 12-30-2015, 02:28 PM

Originally posted by THoog

I know that ear! That's my crazy cousin Vinnie! I'd recognize him anywhere!

You Tube

Jean Poitiers · 12-30-2015, 02:34 PM

Originally posted by savoche

Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant.

So be sure to get the right (err, or left?) ear!

Wimp.

Jean Poitiers · 12-30-2015, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by Jean Poitiers

Wimp.

You realize that I am just kidding ...

Say, "Good night, Gracie" ...

Parallax · 12-30-2015, 02:58 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by savoche

Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant.

Clearly, the absinthe was the problem here.
Water is just as deadly, however.
Years ago, when I was stationed in Alaska, there was a guy who sat in the bar at Moose Creek drinking scotch and water for most of the night. He tried to drive home, took a wrong turn, drove into the Chena river and drowned.
See? Water killed him, not scotch.

**THoog** · 12-30-2015, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by Jean Poitiers

MY COUSIN VINNY - Trailer ( 1992 ) - YouTube

A lawyer?

No way!

My cousin VInnie was a respectable insane drunken starving artist!

normhead · 12-30-2015, 05:04 PM

He was a man who pleaded that the "yutes" he was representing were innocent

Joel B · 12-30-2015, 05:14 PM

Call me Behjo Jedes.

Originally posted by Parallax

Water killed him, not scotch.

Darn tootin! If he had drank it straight, he would have been too drunk to find the car!!

Originally posted by THoog

MY COUSIN VINNY

Cool movie! I loved the scene where he went to the jail to get some sleep!

**THoog** · 12-30-2015, 08:52 PM

Originally posted by savoche

Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant.

It was the coffee. Give coffee to a drunk, get a wide-awake drunk.

Lanfray's lawyers

were the ones that came up with the 'absinthe defense' (no doubt because Twinkies had not been invented at that point).

It is also reported that Lanfray had eaten - a sandwich!!!!

Parallax · 12-30-2015, 09:02 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by THoog

It is also reported that Lanfray had eaten - a sandwich!!!!

Lutefisk on toast with extra sharp Tillamook?

**THoog** · 12-30-2015, 09:26 PM

Originally posted by Parallax

Lutefisk on toast with extra sharp Tillamook?

It doesn't say, but it makes sense - the rage, the copious amounts of flavored alcohol (attempts to get rid of the taste, no doubt).

**THoog** · 12-30-2015, 09:27 PM - **1 Like**

Darnit, I seem to be developing a runny nose and cough. I think I've caught 'cheesy lung' from Amy. It spreads over the Internet, you know.

Parallax · 12-30-2015, 09:47 PM

Originally posted by THoog

It doesn't say, but it makes sense - the rage, the copious amounts of flavored alcohol (attempts to get rid of the taste, no doubt).

That brings up another issue. One of my (many) pet peeves. If you don't like the taste of booze, don't drink it!

Parallax · 12-30-2015, 09:50 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by THoog

Darnit, I seem to be developing a runny nose and cough. I think I've caught 'cheesy lung' from Amy. It spreads over the Internet, you know.

Typhoid Amy?

dansamy · 12-30-2015, 10:13 PM

Well. My power pole snapped in two down by the base. I've got no power until I can get a new pole set. This might be one of those not very fun weeks...

(The kids & I live in an aged mobile on family land. No rent or anything, but aging trailers & their accoutrements cost upkeep for sure!)

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12-30-2015, 02:27 PM - 1 Like	#22171
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant. So be sure to get the right (err, or left?) ear!

12-30-2015, 02:34 PM	#22173
Jean Poitiers Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Lost in translation ... Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 18,076	Originally posted by savoche Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant. So be sure to get the right (err, or left?) ear! Wimp.

12-30-2015, 02:54 PM	#22174
Jean Poitiers Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Lost in translation ... Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 18,076	Originally posted by Jean Poitiers Wimp. You realize that I am just kidding ... Say, "Good night, Gracie" ...

12-30-2015, 02:58 PM - 1 Like	#22175
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by savoche Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant. Clearly, the absinthe was the problem here. Water is just as deadly, however. Years ago, when I was stationed in Alaska, there was a guy who sat in the bar at Moose Creek drinking scotch and water for most of the night. He tried to drive home, took a wrong turn, drove into the Chena river and drowned. See? Water killed him, not scotch.

12-30-2015, 03:40 PM	#22176
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Originally posted by Jean Poitiers MY COUSIN VINNY - Trailer ( 1992 ) - YouTube A lawyer? No way! My cousin VInnie was a respectable insane drunken starving artist!

12-30-2015, 05:04 PM	#22177
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	He was a man who pleaded that the "yutes" he was representing were innocent

12-30-2015, 05:14 PM	#22178
Joel B Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Barnett MO. Photos: Albums Posts: 2,336	Call me Behjo Jedes. Originally posted by Parallax Water killed him, not scotch. Darn tootin! If he had drank it straight, he would have been too drunk to find the car!! Originally posted by THoog MY COUSIN VINNY Cool movie! I loved the scene where he went to the jail to get some sleep!

12-30-2015, 08:52 PM	#22179
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Originally posted by savoche Your "cousin" Vinnie wasn't the only one drinking the absinthe. Jean's Swiss namesake Jean Lanfray caused absinthe to be outlawed after drinking the stuff and killing his family. The fact that he, in addition to the two ounces of absinthe, had consumed seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, two coffees laced with brandy, and two crème de menthes, was not considered relevant. It was the coffee. Give coffee to a drunk, get a wide-awake drunk. Lanfray's lawyers were the ones that came up with the 'absinthe defense' (no doubt because Twinkies had not been invented at that point). It is also reported that Lanfray had eaten - a sandwich!!!!

12-30-2015, 09:02 PM - 1 Like	#22180
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by THoog It is also reported that Lanfray had eaten - a sandwich!!!! Lutefisk on toast with extra sharp Tillamook?

12-30-2015, 09:26 PM	#22181
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Originally posted by Parallax Lutefisk on toast with extra sharp Tillamook? It doesn't say, but it makes sense - the rage, the copious amounts of flavored alcohol (attempts to get rid of the taste, no doubt).

12-30-2015, 09:27 PM - 1 Like	#22182
THoog Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Carolina Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,685	Darnit, I seem to be developing a runny nose and cough. I think I've caught 'cheesy lung' from Amy. It spreads over the Internet, you know.

12-30-2015, 09:47 PM	#22183
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by THoog It doesn't say, but it makes sense - the rage, the copious amounts of flavored alcohol (attempts to get rid of the taste, no doubt). That brings up another issue. One of my (many) pet peeves. If you don't like the taste of booze, don't drink it!

12-30-2015, 09:50 PM - 1 Like	#22184
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by THoog Darnit, I seem to be developing a runny nose and cough. I think I've caught 'cheesy lung' from Amy. It spreads over the Internet, you know. Typhoid Amy?

12-30-2015, 10:13 PM	#22185
dansamy Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,450	Well. My power pole snapped in two down by the base. I've got no power until I can get a new pole set. This might be one of those not very fun weeks... (The kids & I live in an aged mobile on family land. No rent or anything, but aging trailers & their accoutrements cost upkeep for sure!)