why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

**pepperberry farm** · 04-13-2016, 05:09 PM

you weren't kidding about needing to be braced...

Rupert · 04-13-2016, 05:44 PM - **1 Like**

I just got mail from Otis......He asked if I noticed all the Mods gathered here, he counted four, and is trying to lay low.....

Nonsense Otis!

You have friends here but it may be a good time for your entrepreneurial spirit to open a Donut Shop!

Regards!

MarkJerling · 04-13-2016, 06:02 PM

I like donuts!

bertwert · 04-13-2016, 08:00 PM

DONUTS!
Did someone say donuts?

I LOVE DONUTS!

Racer X 69 · 04-13-2016, 08:36 PM

Originally posted by bertwert

DONUTS!
Did someone say donuts?

I LOVE DONUTS!

Bacon maple bar.

bertwert · 04-13-2016, 08:48 PM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Bacon maple bar.

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Bacon maple bar.

Maple bars are one of my favourites!

(remove the bacon though...)

Racer X 69 · 04-13-2016, 08:56 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by bertwert

Maple bars are one of my favourites!

(remove the bacon though...)

Oh, I'll remove it alright . . . . . . . .

tim60 · 04-13-2016, 10:07 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Isn't it?

I've always been fascinated by the scale of machines that man comes up with to do work that he otherwise could never accomplish otherwise.

I also find it interesting how the design of things has changed associated with the equipment available.For example, in Chicago there are several bridges across the river next to each other. The newer ones are built with these huge precast concrete decks because big machines are possible and labour is expensive - so cheapest solution that gives an elegant, low maintenance bridge. The old ones were build by many people bolting or riveting many small pieces of steel which could be carried out across the partly built span by the workers. That was a practical solution when the relative cost of labour and machines was the other way around, and the size of machines was much smaller.

In Chicago it is interesting to see the bridges adjacent to each other.

---------- Post added 04-14-16 at 03:38 PM ----------

Originally posted by THoog

The problem with having a bridge-building machine like that is that it's so cool, your engineers want to build bridges everywhere. "Guys, this new bridge plan is nice and everything, but it was supposed to be a driveway for the McDonald's." "Awwww, but we want to use the machine!"

Do you mean: "If you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail"?

FantasticMrFox · 04-14-2016, 05:01 AM

Originally posted by Rupert

Nonsense Otis!

You have friends here but it may be a good time for your entrepreneurial spirit to open a Donut Shop!

Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer.

MarkJerling · 04-14-2016, 05:32 AM

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer.

I'll second that! (Note to self: Do not drool on keyboard.)

robtcorl · 04-14-2016, 05:58 AM

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer.

had to google clotted cream, the description sounds better than the combined words.
I want cream horns on the menu board.

Rupert · 04-14-2016, 06:14 AM

Otis aims to please

......He will announce his Grand Opening once he gets it all set up, well stocked with fine pastries and prices set. It will be in another thread, so the Mods, like all good cops, can relax, take a break and enjoy.......away from their Modly duties.

He will have fine coffee, tea, and some spirits to add for a little flavor. If they drink too much he will have a "sleeper area" where they can sleep it off.......while squirrels run wild in places the Mods are not!

Sleeper branch.....You guys could relax here!

FantasticMrFox · 04-14-2016, 06:25 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Rupert

If they drink too much he will have a "sleeper area" where they can sleep it off ...

I think you are describing an opium den.

Reminds me of Christmas last year. My maternal grandparents were over and in the evening of Christmas eve my grandfather developed abdominal pain and we drove him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with severe pancreatitis. Usually pancreas amylase levels are supposed to be somewhere below 85, his exceeded 12,000

Amylase is an enzyme and at such high concentrations the pancreas is essentially digesting itself.

Anyway, he got surgery to remove the gallstones that had caused it, recovered quickly and was discharged about a week later. But because pancreatits is amongst the most painful conditions during his hospital stay he was put on very strong morphine. He is a funny guy in general but the drugs made him even funnier, so one day when my grandmother came to visit him he offered her the lettuce from his lunch as a flower bouquet

The next day my mum took a selfie with him in bed as he was pulling funny faces, and her on one and my grandmother on the other side. She sent it to me titled "Greetings from the opium den."

Rupert · 04-14-2016, 06:48 AM

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

I think you are describing an opium den.

Otis couldn't say that here....but "treats" will be available on request!

**savoche** · 04-14-2016, 08:24 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by Parallax

Give or take $70,000.00.

Thanks, I'll take that $70,000.00

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Action Man may be cool, with or without pants, a 110 camera built into his chest, or suffering from PTSD, but these guys have created an engineering masterpiece.

(This video was one of the suggested ones after watching the Action Man PTSD video.)

Really? No way I'll click that one at work, you perv.

"Erection Monster Machine"

04-14-2016, 06:14 AM	#25497
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Otis aims to please......He will announce his Grand Opening once he gets it all set up, well stocked with fine pastries and prices set. It will be in another thread, so the Mods, like all good cops, can relax, take a break and enjoy.......away from their Modly duties. He will have fine coffee, tea, and some spirits to add for a little flavor. If they drink too much he will have a "sleeper area" where they can sleep it off.......while squirrels run wild in places the Mods are not! Sleeper branch.....You guys could relax here!

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04-13-2016, 05:09 PM	#25486
pepperberry farm amateur dirt farmer Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: probably out in a field somewhere... Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 41,660	you weren't kidding about needing to be braced...

04-13-2016, 05:44 PM - 1 Like	#25487
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	I just got mail from Otis......He asked if I noticed all the Mods gathered here, he counted four, and is trying to lay low..... Nonsense Otis! You have friends here but it may be a good time for your entrepreneurial spirit to open a Donut Shop! Regards!

04-13-2016, 06:02 PM	#25488
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,406	I like donuts!

04-13-2016, 08:00 PM	#25489
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,173	DONUTS! Did someone say donuts? I LOVE DONUTS!

04-13-2016, 08:36 PM	#25490
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by bertwert DONUTS! Did someone say donuts? I LOVE DONUTS! Bacon maple bar.

04-13-2016, 08:48 PM	#25491
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,173	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Bacon maple bar. Originally posted by Racer X 69 Bacon maple bar. Maple bars are one of my favourites! (remove the bacon though...)

04-13-2016, 08:56 PM - 1 Like	#25492
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by bertwert Maple bars are one of my favourites! (remove the bacon though...) Oh, I'll remove it alright . . . . . . . .

04-13-2016, 10:07 PM - 1 Like	#25493
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,743	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Isn't it? I've always been fascinated by the scale of machines that man comes up with to do work that he otherwise could never accomplish otherwise. I also find it interesting how the design of things has changed associated with the equipment available.For example, in Chicago there are several bridges across the river next to each other. The newer ones are built with these huge precast concrete decks because big machines are possible and labour is expensive - so cheapest solution that gives an elegant, low maintenance bridge. The old ones were build by many people bolting or riveting many small pieces of steel which could be carried out across the partly built span by the workers. That was a practical solution when the relative cost of labour and machines was the other way around, and the size of machines was much smaller. In Chicago it is interesting to see the bridges adjacent to each other. ---------- Post added 04-14-16 at 03:38 PM ---------- Originally posted by THoog The problem with having a bridge-building machine like that is that it's so cool, your engineers want to build bridges everywhere. "Guys, this new bridge plan is nice and everything, but it was supposed to be a driveway for the McDonald's." "Awwww, but we want to use the machine!" Do you mean: "If you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail"?

04-14-2016, 05:01 AM	#25494
FantasticMrFox Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Munich Posts: 2,339	Originally posted by Rupert Nonsense Otis! You have friends here but it may be a good time for your entrepreneurial spirit to open a Donut Shop! Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer.

04-14-2016, 05:32 AM	#25495
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,406	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer. I'll second that! (Note to self: Do not drool on keyboard.)

04-14-2016, 05:58 AM	#25496
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox Make him offer scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and I'll be a frequent customer. had to google clotted cream, the description sounds better than the combined words. I want cream horns on the menu board.

04-14-2016, 06:25 AM - 1 Like	#25498
FantasticMrFox Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Munich Posts: 2,339	Originally posted by Rupert If they drink too much he will have a "sleeper area" where they can sleep it off ... I think you are describing an opium den. Reminds me of Christmas last year. My maternal grandparents were over and in the evening of Christmas eve my grandfather developed abdominal pain and we drove him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with severe pancreatitis. Usually pancreas amylase levels are supposed to be somewhere below 85, his exceeded 12,000 Amylase is an enzyme and at such high concentrations the pancreas is essentially digesting itself. Anyway, he got surgery to remove the gallstones that had caused it, recovered quickly and was discharged about a week later. But because pancreatits is amongst the most painful conditions during his hospital stay he was put on very strong morphine. He is a funny guy in general but the drugs made him even funnier, so one day when my grandmother came to visit him he offered her the lettuce from his lunch as a flower bouquet The next day my mum took a selfie with him in bed as he was pulling funny faces, and her on one and my grandmother on the other side. She sent it to me titled "Greetings from the opium den."

04-14-2016, 06:48 AM	#25499
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox I think you are describing an opium den. Otis couldn't say that here....but "treats" will be available on request!

04-14-2016, 08:24 AM - 3 Likes	#25500
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by Parallax Give or take $70,000.00. Thanks, I'll take that $70,000.00 Originally posted by Racer X 69 Action Man may be cool, with or without pants, a 110 camera built into his chest, or suffering from PTSD, but these guys have created an engineering masterpiece. (This video was one of the suggested ones after watching the Action Man PTSD video.) Really? No way I'll click that one at work, you perv. "Erection Monster Machine"