why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

Rupert · 05-05-2016, 11:51 AM

There is not a huge market for squirrel and dove shots........Mrs Rupert needs to understand that!

tim60 · 05-05-2016, 01:36 PM

I just got an email asking me to make a hotel review of one of the hotels I stayed in. Can anyone guess which hotel I stayed in from:
"
The hotel itself is a perfectly good and normal hotel, which does what it sets out to do quite competently, but gives me the same niggles that almost all other hotels I stay in for business trips do. It is a normal sort of hotel more concerned with maintaining identical form to all the other sites of the same brand and full of grand ponciness. I would much rather a kettle than a coffee maker - can produce tasteless boiled water. And firm pillows instead of the typical too soft hotel pillows. And a desk and chair of matching heights for good ergonomics tor extended work. And a simple TV which can stay on the channel I last used when I turn it on, just like at home. And a good, bright, whole room light instead of the normal hotel design that leaves the room dark. And the food is always an attempt to be kind of fancy instead of just good homely food, such as one would get in a country pub in England, or even in one's own house. I would love to stay in a hotel which in its form reflects the local distinctiveness of where it is so that it gives an experience of being where you are, without falling into the cliche version of the place. What I really want is a hotel that makes me feel like I am living in my house.
"

Or do you all think I sound like the OP and the OP's views of a certain duo-branded camera?

**clackers** · 05-05-2016, 01:42 PM

Originally posted by tim60

I just got an email asking me to make a hotel review of one of the hotels I stayed in. Can anyone guess which hotel I stayed in from:
"
A normal sort of hotel more concerned with maintaining identical form t all the otehr sites of the same brand and full of grand ponciness. I would much rather a kettle than a coffee maker - can produce tasteless boiled water. And firm pillows instead of the typical too soft hotel pillows. And a desk and chair of matching heights for good ergonomics tor extended work. And a simple TV which can stay on the channel I last used when I turn it on, just like at home. And a good, bright, whole room light instead of the normal hotel design that leaves the room dark. And the food is always an attempt to be kind of fancy instead of just good homely food, such as one would get in a country pub in England, or even in one's own house. I would love to stay in a hotel which in its form reflects the local distinctiveness of where it is so that it gives an experience of being where you are, without falling into the cliche version of the place.
"

Or do you all thing I sound like the OP and the OP's views of a certain duo-brand of camera?

This seems more an analysis of your personality than the hotel, Tim!

Fantastic, we're learning a lot. ☺

**clackers** · 05-05-2016, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Rupert

There is not a huge market for squirrel and dove shots........Mrs Rupert needs to understand that!

Do National Geographic publish an annual squirrel issue, like Sports Illustrated with swimwear?

Reckon you'd do a better job of that than Russell James.

Last edited by clackers; 05-05-2016 at 01:53 PM.

Rupert · 05-05-2016, 02:18 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by clackers

Do National Geographic publish an annual squirrel issue, like Sports Illustrated with swimwear?

I did a few for Otis and his publishing company a few years ago, but he drifted off into the porn business and I refused to do the kind of shooting he required.......and anyhow, I had to pay him for the shots he used so it was not a profitable situation.

This one was fun to shoot for until the girly squirrels started wanting to pose naked for their boyfriends and it too turned into a raunchy magazine.

I guess my Pro talents will go unused, but you guys can count on seeing what I shoot...I'm sure you can hardly wait!

MarkJerling · 05-05-2016, 02:25 PM

At a subscription pirce of 48 roasted peanuts you really can't go wrong!

tim60 · 05-05-2016, 02:39 PM

Originally posted by clackers

This seems more an analysis of your personality than the hotel, Tim!

Fantastic, we're learning a lot. ☺

Yes.

And isn't that what most online reviews of most things really are?

You remind me, somewhere Tolstoy said: "the man said he read the book, but really the book read the man".

Too much business travel does things to people.

**clackers** · 05-05-2016, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by tim60

You remind me, somewhere Tolstoy said: "the man said he read the book, but really the book read the man".

I like that.

If you can, watch the recent four-part BBC adaptation of 'War and Peace', BTW.

Rupert · 05-05-2016, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by MarkJerling

At a subscription pirce of 48 roasted peanuts you really can't go wrong!

He was on the right track and they were great magazines with interesting articles, priced right and well edited. Then he got that greedy streak and went for the big peanuts. I tried to tell him there wasn't a big market for squirrel porn. After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat, and the Canon shooter he hired to shoot them in their filthy poses using a Canon instead of a Pentax.

MarkJerling · 05-05-2016, 03:18 PM

Originally posted by Rupert

He was on the right track and they were great magazines with interesting articles, priced right and well edited. Then he got that greedy streak and went for the big peanuts. I tried to tell him there wasn't a big market for squirrel porn. After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat, and the Canon shooter he hired to shoot them in their filthy poses using a Canon instead of a Pentax.

And to think, he could have gone the Playboy "only for the articles" route!

**clackers** · 05-05-2016, 03:23 PM

Originally posted by Rupert

. After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat,

Well, I'd like to say he should have known, squirrels being inherently chubby.

But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition).

stevebrot · 05-05-2016, 03:33 PM

Originally posted by clackers

But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition).

TMI...way TMI...

Steve

MarkJerling · 05-05-2016, 03:41 PM

Originally posted by stevebrot

TMI...way TMI...

Steve

**clackers** · 05-05-2016, 03:47 PM

Originally posted by stevebrot

TMI...way TMI...

Steve

The centre foldout was the size of a tablecloth, Steve, and the octaboxes on set would get gored by tusks ... honestly, a disaster all-round.

Parallax · 05-05-2016, 04:39 PM

Originally posted by clackers

Well, I'd like to say he should have known, squirrels being inherently chubby.

But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition).

Oh, yeah. I remember that one with the walruses.
I bought it for the artcle on the

wait for it.......

'Tusk'-eege Airmen.

Sorry.......

05-05-2016, 01:36 PM	#26192
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	I just got an email asking me to make a hotel review of one of the hotels I stayed in. Can anyone guess which hotel I stayed in from: " The hotel itself is a perfectly good and normal hotel, which does what it sets out to do quite competently, but gives me the same niggles that almost all other hotels I stay in for business trips do. It is a normal sort of hotel more concerned with maintaining identical form to all the other sites of the same brand and full of grand ponciness. I would much rather a kettle than a coffee maker - can produce tasteless boiled water. And firm pillows instead of the typical too soft hotel pillows. And a desk and chair of matching heights for good ergonomics tor extended work. And a simple TV which can stay on the channel I last used when I turn it on, just like at home. And a good, bright, whole room light instead of the normal hotel design that leaves the room dark. And the food is always an attempt to be kind of fancy instead of just good homely food, such as one would get in a country pub in England, or even in one's own house. I would love to stay in a hotel which in its form reflects the local distinctiveness of where it is so that it gives an experience of being where you are, without falling into the cliche version of the place. What I really want is a hotel that makes me feel like I am living in my house. " Or do you all think I sound like the OP and the OP's views of a certain duo-branded camera? Last edited by tim60; 05-05-2016 at 02:12 PM.

05-05-2016, 02:43 PM	#26198
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by tim60 You remind me, somewhere Tolstoy said: "the man said he read the book, but really the book read the man". I like that. If you can, watch the recent four-part BBC adaptation of 'War and Peace', BTW. Last edited by clackers; 05-05-2016 at 02:52 PM.

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05-05-2016, 11:51 AM	#26191
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	There is not a huge market for squirrel and dove shots........Mrs Rupert needs to understand that!

05-05-2016, 01:42 PM	#26193
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by tim60 I just got an email asking me to make a hotel review of one of the hotels I stayed in. Can anyone guess which hotel I stayed in from: " A normal sort of hotel more concerned with maintaining identical form t all the otehr sites of the same brand and full of grand ponciness. I would much rather a kettle than a coffee maker - can produce tasteless boiled water. And firm pillows instead of the typical too soft hotel pillows. And a desk and chair of matching heights for good ergonomics tor extended work. And a simple TV which can stay on the channel I last used when I turn it on, just like at home. And a good, bright, whole room light instead of the normal hotel design that leaves the room dark. And the food is always an attempt to be kind of fancy instead of just good homely food, such as one would get in a country pub in England, or even in one's own house. I would love to stay in a hotel which in its form reflects the local distinctiveness of where it is so that it gives an experience of being where you are, without falling into the cliche version of the place. " Or do you all thing I sound like the OP and the OP's views of a certain duo-brand of camera? This seems more an analysis of your personality than the hotel, Tim! Fantastic, we're learning a lot. ☺

05-05-2016, 01:47 PM	#26194
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by Rupert There is not a huge market for squirrel and dove shots........Mrs Rupert needs to understand that! Do National Geographic publish an annual squirrel issue, like Sports Illustrated with swimwear? Reckon you'd do a better job of that than Russell James. Last edited by clackers; 05-05-2016 at 01:53 PM.

05-05-2016, 02:18 PM - 1 Like	#26195
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by clackers Do National Geographic publish an annual squirrel issue, like Sports Illustrated with swimwear? I did a few for Otis and his publishing company a few years ago, but he drifted off into the porn business and I refused to do the kind of shooting he required.......and anyhow, I had to pay him for the shots he used so it was not a profitable situation. This one was fun to shoot for until the girly squirrels started wanting to pose naked for their boyfriends and it too turned into a raunchy magazine. I guess my Pro talents will go unused, but you guys can count on seeing what I shoot...I'm sure you can hardly wait!

05-05-2016, 02:25 PM	#26196
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,406	At a subscription pirce of 48 roasted peanuts you really can't go wrong!

05-05-2016, 02:39 PM	#26197
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	Originally posted by clackers This seems more an analysis of your personality than the hotel, Tim! Fantastic, we're learning a lot. ☺ Yes. And isn't that what most online reviews of most things really are? You remind me, somewhere Tolstoy said: "the man said he read the book, but really the book read the man". Too much business travel does things to people.

05-05-2016, 02:50 PM	#26199
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by MarkJerling At a subscription pirce of 48 roasted peanuts you really can't go wrong! He was on the right track and they were great magazines with interesting articles, priced right and well edited. Then he got that greedy streak and went for the big peanuts. I tried to tell him there wasn't a big market for squirrel porn. After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat, and the Canon shooter he hired to shoot them in their filthy poses using a Canon instead of a Pentax.

05-05-2016, 03:18 PM	#26200
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,406	Originally posted by Rupert He was on the right track and they were great magazines with interesting articles, priced right and well edited. Then he got that greedy streak and went for the big peanuts. I tried to tell him there wasn't a big market for squirrel porn. After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat, and the Canon shooter he hired to shoot them in their filthy poses using a Canon instead of a Pentax. And to think, he could have gone the Playboy "only for the articles" route!

05-05-2016, 03:23 PM	#26201
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by Rupert . After he went bankrupt he blamed it on models being too fat, Well, I'd like to say he should have known, squirrels being inherently chubby. But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition).

05-05-2016, 03:33 PM	#26202
stevebrot Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Vancouver (USA) Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 42,007	Originally posted by clackers But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition). TMI...way TMI... Steve

05-05-2016, 03:41 PM	#26203
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,406	Originally posted by stevebrot TMI...way TMI... Steve

05-05-2016, 03:47 PM	#26204
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by stevebrot TMI...way TMI... Steve The centre foldout was the size of a tablecloth, Steve, and the octaboxes on set would get gored by tusks ... honestly, a disaster all-round.

05-05-2016, 04:39 PM	#26205
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by clackers Well, I'd like to say he should have known, squirrels being inherently chubby. But I also blew my savings investing in Larry Flynt"s Hustler (Walrus Edition). Oh, yeah. I remember that one with the walruses. I bought it for the artcle on the wait for it....... 'Tusk'-eege Airmen. Sorry.......