why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

Rupert · 08-15-2016, 10:13 AM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Jim, you're supposed to keep the wine in the cellar. Cold, damp, dark.

Hey, it's shoe polish! It goes on the shelf like any other shoe polish!

An URGENT message from Otis Squirrel: ...go ahead Otis....

Something is not right here, it is 75F at noon and it is the middle of August. Now we squirrels are just fine with it, no need to be concerned about us, but what about the little Pepper toddlers up north? If it is that chilly here it must be snowing like crazy and well below freezing in Pierre?
What measures are being taken to protect the fragile little guys from dying of frostbite...or worse, being flash frozen?

My advice is that anyone that has an old bicycle shop where they mostly don't answer their phone because they are sleeping or avoiding customers to waste time doing that "moderator stuff", convert it to a first class hothouse with adequate heat and lighting.

This will protect the lives of the little toddlers and any additional space can be used to grow other crops that far exceed the value of bicycle tires and hubcaps. You can burn a bicycle tire...I do it every winter, but you sure as hell can't smoke one!

I have the wives of all the Army Squirrels knitting little pecker size sweaters for the youngster peppers. They are using me as a model and they may be a little large, but they will grow into them, no doubt, as long as they don't get cold and suffer shrinkage. Damn! ...I hate shrinkage!

So I urge the caretaker of my little babies to do the right thing and take precautions to save the little guys before it is too late.

Regards

Otis Squirrel

Racer X 69 · 08-15-2016, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by Rupert

Hey, it's shoe polish! It goes on the shelf like any other shoe polish!

An URGENT message from Otis Squirrel: ...go ahead Otis....

Something is not right here, it is 75F at noon and it is the middle of August. Now we squirrels are just fine with it, no need to be concerned about us, but what about the little Pepper toddlers up north? If it is that chilly here it must be snowing like crazy and well below freezing in Pierre?
What measures are being taken to protect the fragile little guys from dying of frostbite...or worse, being flash frozen?

My advice is that anyone that has an old bicycle shop where they mostly don't answer their phone because they are sleeping or avoiding customers to waste time doing that "moderator stuff", convert it to a first class hothouse with adequate heat and lighting.

This will protect the lives of the little toddlers and any additional space can be used to grow other crops that far exceed the value of bicycle tires and hubcaps. You can burn a bicycle tire...I do it every winter, but you sure as hell can't smoke one!

I have the wives of all the Army Squirrels knitting little pecker size sweaters for the youngster peppers. They are using me as a model and they may be a little large, but they will grow into them, no doubt, as long as they don't get cold and suffer shrinkage. Damn! ...I hate shrinkage!

So I urge the caretaker of my little babies to do the right thing and take precautions to save the little guys before it is too late.

Regards

Otis Squirrel

Weather in Pierre is hot, highs expected in the 90's. There is a possibility of thunderstorms today, and hot weather is expected to continue.

Relax Jim, the babies are fine.

Rupert · 08-15-2016, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Relax Jim, the babies are fine.

You tell that to Otis...he says the weather reporting is "rigged". He read it on the internet and says it must be true?

He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too!

**savoche** · 08-15-2016, 11:42 AM

Originally posted by Rupert

He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too!

Demand a picture of them together with today's newspaper! I know that's how it's supposed to be done - saw it on some news report out of Holywood or sumth'n.

Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail

Racer X 69 · 08-15-2016, 12:17 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Rupert

You tell that to Otis...he says the weather reporting is "rigged". He read it on the internet and says it must be true?

He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too!

Originally posted by savoche

Demand a picture of them together with today's newspaper! I know that's how it's supposed to be done - saw it on some news report out of Holywood or sumth'n.

Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail

Straight from the Pierre Daily:

robtcorl · 08-15-2016, 12:20 PM - **2 Likes**

Racer X 69 · 08-15-2016, 12:22 PM

That's a photo from the cold storage freezer at the cannery Bob.

Rupert · 08-15-2016, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Straight from the Pierre Daily:

Well, that calmed Otis down, but only because it came from you Racer. He said he knows you wouldn't go so low at to fake a news article, like might happen with the "designated caretaker".

---------- Post added 08-15-16 at 02:25 PM ----------

Originally posted by savoche

Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail

Otis would like that!

@robtcorl- OMG! I can't let Otis see that! He would be horrified!

Racer X 69 · 08-15-2016, 12:29 PM

Originally posted by Rupert

He said he knows you wouldn't go so low at to fake a news article, .......

I would never do anything like that.

Nope.

Not me.

No way.

Rupert · 08-15-2016, 12:36 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

I would never do anything like that.

Nope.

Not me.

No way.

Some of us are honest and have values....some are not. Otis trusts you....me?...not so much!

**savoche** · 08-15-2016, 12:49 PM - **3 Likes**

Ah, sorry to interrupt, but I got breaking news on our founding father!

robtcorl · 08-15-2016, 12:55 PM

Originally posted by savoche

Ah, sorry to interrupt, but I got breaking news on our founding father!

Guess we need to close the thread now.

Rupert · 08-15-2016, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by robtcorl

Guess we need to close the thread now.

Yep, too bad all the Mods are out looking for "Rupert Types" while this place goes to hell.

Otis says Jim is on his way to Texas and that is why we have this cold front. The last time he came down it snowed like crazy. But...in August? It's a crazy world, who knows?

Parallax · 08-15-2016, 02:07 PM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Weather in Pierre is hot, highs expected in the 90's. There is a possibility of thunderstorms today, and hot weather is expected to continue.

Relax Jim, the babies are fine.

Yes, it's cooled off from last week.

Parallax · 08-15-2016, 02:08 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by robtcorl

Guess we need to close the thread now.

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08-15-2016, 10:13 AM	#28531
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Jim, you're supposed to keep the wine in the cellar. Cold, damp, dark. Hey, it's shoe polish! It goes on the shelf like any other shoe polish! An URGENT message from Otis Squirrel: ...go ahead Otis.... Something is not right here, it is 75F at noon and it is the middle of August. Now we squirrels are just fine with it, no need to be concerned about us, but what about the little Pepper toddlers up north? If it is that chilly here it must be snowing like crazy and well below freezing in Pierre? What measures are being taken to protect the fragile little guys from dying of frostbite...or worse, being flash frozen? My advice is that anyone that has an old bicycle shop where they mostly don't answer their phone because they are sleeping or avoiding customers to waste time doing that "moderator stuff", convert it to a first class hothouse with adequate heat and lighting. This will protect the lives of the little toddlers and any additional space can be used to grow other crops that far exceed the value of bicycle tires and hubcaps. You can burn a bicycle tire...I do it every winter, but you sure as hell can't smoke one! I have the wives of all the Army Squirrels knitting little pecker size sweaters for the youngster peppers. They are using me as a model and they may be a little large, but they will grow into them, no doubt, as long as they don't get cold and suffer shrinkage. Damn! ...I hate shrinkage! So I urge the caretaker of my little babies to do the right thing and take precautions to save the little guys before it is too late. Regards Otis Squirrel

08-15-2016, 10:36 AM	#28532
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by Rupert Hey, it's shoe polish! It goes on the shelf like any other shoe polish! An URGENT message from Otis Squirrel: ...go ahead Otis.... Something is not right here, it is 75F at noon and it is the middle of August. Now we squirrels are just fine with it, no need to be concerned about us, but what about the little Pepper toddlers up north? If it is that chilly here it must be snowing like crazy and well below freezing in Pierre? What measures are being taken to protect the fragile little guys from dying of frostbite...or worse, being flash frozen? My advice is that anyone that has an old bicycle shop where they mostly don't answer their phone because they are sleeping or avoiding customers to waste time doing that "moderator stuff", convert it to a first class hothouse with adequate heat and lighting. This will protect the lives of the little toddlers and any additional space can be used to grow other crops that far exceed the value of bicycle tires and hubcaps. You can burn a bicycle tire...I do it every winter, but you sure as hell can't smoke one! I have the wives of all the Army Squirrels knitting little pecker size sweaters for the youngster peppers. They are using me as a model and they may be a little large, but they will grow into them, no doubt, as long as they don't get cold and suffer shrinkage. Damn! ...I hate shrinkage! So I urge the caretaker of my little babies to do the right thing and take precautions to save the little guys before it is too late. Regards Otis Squirrel Weather in Pierre is hot, highs expected in the 90's. There is a possibility of thunderstorms today, and hot weather is expected to continue. Relax Jim, the babies are fine.

08-15-2016, 10:53 AM	#28533
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Relax Jim, the babies are fine. You tell that to Otis...he says the weather reporting is "rigged". He read it on the internet and says it must be true? He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too!

08-15-2016, 11:42 AM	#28534
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by Rupert He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too! Demand a picture of them together with today's newspaper! I know that's how it's supposed to be done - saw it on some news report out of Holywood or sumth'n. Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail

08-15-2016, 12:17 PM - 2 Likes	#28535
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by Rupert You tell that to Otis...he says the weather reporting is "rigged". He read it on the internet and says it must be true? He wants a reply form the caretaker himself and some photos of the little fellows to make certain they are still alive and well. Me too! Originally posted by savoche Demand a picture of them together with today's newspaper! I know that's how it's supposed to be done - saw it on some news report out of Holywood or sumth'n. Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail Straight from the Pierre Daily:

08-15-2016, 12:20 PM - 2 Likes	#28536
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606

08-15-2016, 12:22 PM	#28537
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	That's a photo from the cold storage freezer at the cannery Bob.

08-15-2016, 12:23 PM	#28538
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Straight from the Pierre Daily: Well, that calmed Otis down, but only because it came from you Racer. He said he knows you wouldn't go so low at to fake a news article, like might happen with the "designated caretaker". ---------- Post added 08-15-16 at 02:25 PM ---------- Originally posted by savoche Next thing you know he'll start sending you sap dripping pieces of new shoots in the mail Otis would like that! @robtcorl- OMG! I can't let Otis see that! He would be horrified!

08-15-2016, 12:29 PM	#28539
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by Rupert He said he knows you wouldn't go so low at to fake a news article, ....... I would never do anything like that. Nope. Not me. No way.

08-15-2016, 12:36 PM - 2 Likes	#28540
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by Racer X 69 I would never do anything like that. Nope. Not me. No way. Some of us are honest and have values....some are not. Otis trusts you....me?...not so much!

08-15-2016, 12:49 PM - 3 Likes	#28541
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Ah, sorry to interrupt, but I got breaking news on our founding father!

08-15-2016, 12:55 PM	#28542
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by savoche Ah, sorry to interrupt, but I got breaking news on our founding father! Guess we need to close the thread now.

08-15-2016, 01:45 PM	#28543
Rupert Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 25,123	Originally posted by robtcorl Guess we need to close the thread now. Yep, too bad all the Mods are out looking for "Rupert Types" while this place goes to hell. Otis says Jim is on his way to Texas and that is why we have this cold front. The last time he came down it snowed like crazy. But...in August? It's a crazy world, who knows?

08-15-2016, 02:07 PM	#28544
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Weather in Pierre is hot, highs expected in the 90's. There is a possibility of thunderstorms today, and hot weather is expected to continue. Relax Jim, the babies are fine. Yes, it's cooled off from last week.

08-15-2016, 02:08 PM - 1 Like	#28545
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by robtcorl Guess we need to close the thread now.