why I won't buy a k3 (Warning: Satire Thread)

tim60 · 07-02-2019, 04:46 AM - **1 Like**

It's nearly fireworks day in USA.

Enjoy your fireworks.

**BigMackCam** · 07-02-2019, 04:46 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by tim60

I agree, there is no other kind of butter (I suppose some people might make it from goats or sheep), just as I would rather eat real sugar than one of those chem lab replacements. But I was replying to one of our American friends, and we all know they are almost like Chinese in their predilection for eating the outputs of the chemical industry.

I use real butter for cooking, but keep easy spread butter (with rapeseed oil) in the fridge too, as I prefer that on toast or for making sandwiches. Actually, it's just laziness and impatience... If I thought to, I'd put a nob of butter on a plate and let it reach room temperature...

Racer X 69 · 07-02-2019, 04:54 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by BigMackCam

That sounds superb, Jim <drool>

I've never heard of "acorn squash"... Looks like it's mainly a US thing? And did you put the whole bottle of Porter in there, or save a little to sip "whilst" cooking?

...

Chilli for lunch today, cooked / added in this order:

2 x large red onions, diced small
1 x large red bell pepper
splash of vegetable oil

4 x crushed garlic cloves

2 x heaped tsp chilli powder
1 x heaped tsp paprika
1 x heaped tsp ground cumin
1 x level tsp cinnamon

250g minced / ground beef (5% fat)
200g smoked bacon lardons

500g tin sieved tomatoes ("passata")
1 x beef stock cube

400g tin chopped tomatoes
400g tin red kidney beans
400g tin chickpeas
250ml water

juice of half a lime
salt

I keep reading how I should add a tsp of sugar, or - better still - a square of dark chocolate. But it doesn't taste like it needs sugar, and I don't have any dark chocolate...

I like chilli... No need to worry about presentation

I started putting dark chocolate in my chili many years ago. There were a few guys I worked with at the electric utility (one I went to high school with) who formed a team and competed in chili cookoff competitions. Their chili was very dark, and I finally learned their secret.

Dark chocolate.

They won the Washington state cookoffs several times, and went to Texas for the national cookoffs and I think they even won there once.

I also add about a quarter cup of brown sugar, not just for the sweetness, but the caramel flavor brown sugar adds.

Oh, one more thing.

You need at least twice the amount of garlic.

And use the elephant garlic.

You can thank me later.

Parallax · 07-02-2019, 04:58 AM - **5 Likes**

Originally posted by BigMackCam

And did you put the whole bottle of Porter in there,

Yes, but the recipe said to use one bottle. it didn't say to buy only one bottle.

**savoche** · 07-02-2019, 05:12 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Butter, bacon, bicycles, Bordeaux, bagels. A wonderful B's!!!

Broccoli! You forgot broccoli.

Oh.

Right.

Burger! You forgot burger!

**rod_grant** · 07-02-2019, 05:15 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

I started putting dark chocolate in my chili

My mother made my sister & bro-in-law christmas cakes for many years.
Bro-in-law liked very dark fruit cake and mum just couldn't make it dark enough with her several recipes.
She threatened to put boot polish in the mixture one year.

**rod_grant** · 07-02-2019, 05:17 AM

Originally posted by tim60

Are you advertising Holden cars, or something?

Mark won't know what you are on about.
But come on, Tim. Out with the full list - I don't remember most of it, but I'm sure that meat pies are in there!

robtcorl · 07-02-2019, 05:30 AM - **4 Likes**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Butter, bacon, bicycles, Bordeaux, bagels. A wonderful B's!!!

I'm crushed, you forgot Bob.
There's at least 2 of us here, right Racer?
Oh, and big boobs and bbq.

**savoche** · 07-02-2019, 05:32 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

You need at least twice the amount of garlic.

Always.

**savoche** · 07-02-2019, 05:37 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by rod_grant

Is there any other kind?

Hey, if they can call Bud Light "beer"...!

FantasticMrFox · 07-02-2019, 05:48 AM - **5 Likes**

Originally posted by savoche

X

Ah yes, the five stages of grief:

tim60 · 07-02-2019, 07:59 AM

Originally posted by Parallax

Yes, but the recipe said to use one bottle. it didn't say to buy only one bottle.

In Australia you would buy a six pack - quantity discount - and still only cook one.

How good is your maths to work out the quantity available for drinking?

tim60 · 07-02-2019, 08:03 AM

Originally posted by rod_grant

Mark won't know what you are on about.
But come on, Tim. Out with the full list - I don't remember most of it, but I'm sure that meat pies are in there!

Football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars.

Copied one from Yankee Land: baseball, burgers?, yyy and Chevrolet’s. I think that was the brand.

One of our friends can enlighten us all as to whether burgers is right and for what yyy is the signifier.

tim60 · 07-02-2019, 08:05 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by FantasticMrFox

Ah yes, the five stages of grief:

Did that come from one of your textbooks?

Racer X 69 · 07-02-2019, 08:06 AM

Originally posted by tim60

Are you advertising Holden cars, or something?

More like Bentley or Bugatti,

B.

Not H.

07-02-2019, 04:54 AM - 2 Likes	#68523
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,068	Originally posted by BigMackCam That sounds superb, Jim <drool> I've never heard of "acorn squash"... Looks like it's mainly a US thing? And did you put the whole bottle of Porter in there, or save a little to sip "whilst" cooking? ... Chilli for lunch today, cooked / added in this order: 2 x large red onions, diced small 1 x large red bell pepper splash of vegetable oil 4 x crushed garlic cloves 2 x heaped tsp chilli powder 1 x heaped tsp paprika 1 x heaped tsp ground cumin 1 x level tsp cinnamon 250g minced / ground beef (5% fat) 200g smoked bacon lardons 500g tin sieved tomatoes ("passata") 1 x beef stock cube 400g tin chopped tomatoes 400g tin red kidney beans 400g tin chickpeas 250ml water juice of half a lime salt I keep reading how I should add a tsp of sugar, or - better still - a square of dark chocolate. But it doesn't taste like it needs sugar, and I don't have any dark chocolate... I like chilli... No need to worry about presentation I started putting dark chocolate in my chili many years ago. There were a few guys I worked with at the electric utility (one I went to high school with) who formed a team and competed in chili cookoff competitions. Their chili was very dark, and I finally learned their secret. Dark chocolate. They won the Washington state cookoffs several times, and went to Texas for the national cookoffs and I think they even won there once. I also add about a quarter cup of brown sugar, not just for the sweetness, but the caramel flavor brown sugar adds. Oh, one more thing. You need at least twice the amount of garlic. And use the elephant garlic. You can thank me later.

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07-02-2019, 04:46 AM - 1 Like	#68521
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	It's nearly fireworks day in USA. Enjoy your fireworks.

07-02-2019, 04:46 AM - 1 Like	#68522
BigMackCam Digitiser of Film Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: North East of England Posts: 20,674	Originally posted by tim60 I agree, there is no other kind of butter (I suppose some people might make it from goats or sheep), just as I would rather eat real sugar than one of those chem lab replacements. But I was replying to one of our American friends, and we all know they are almost like Chinese in their predilection for eating the outputs of the chemical industry. I use real butter for cooking, but keep easy spread butter (with rapeseed oil) in the fridge too, as I prefer that on toast or for making sandwiches. Actually, it's just laziness and impatience... If I thought to, I'd put a nob of butter on a plate and let it reach room temperature...

07-02-2019, 04:58 AM - 5 Likes	#68524
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Originally posted by BigMackCam And did you put the whole bottle of Porter in there, Yes, but the recipe said to use one bottle. it didn't say to buy only one bottle.

07-02-2019, 05:12 AM - 2 Likes	#68525
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by MarkJerling Butter, bacon, bicycles, Bordeaux, bagels. A wonderful B's!!! Broccoli! You forgot broccoli. Oh. Right. Burger! You forgot burger!

07-02-2019, 05:15 AM - 3 Likes	#68526
rod_grant Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Wangaratta, Victoria Photos: Gallery Posts: 6,951	Originally posted by Racer X 69 I started putting dark chocolate in my chili My mother made my sister & bro-in-law christmas cakes for many years. Bro-in-law liked very dark fruit cake and mum just couldn't make it dark enough with her several recipes. She threatened to put boot polish in the mixture one year.

07-02-2019, 05:17 AM	#68527
rod_grant Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Wangaratta, Victoria Photos: Gallery Posts: 6,951	Originally posted by tim60 Are you advertising Holden cars, or something? Mark won't know what you are on about. But come on, Tim. Out with the full list - I don't remember most of it, but I'm sure that meat pies are in there!

07-02-2019, 05:30 AM - 4 Likes	#68528
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by MarkJerling Butter, bacon, bicycles, Bordeaux, bagels. A wonderful B's!!! I'm crushed, you forgot Bob. There's at least 2 of us here, right Racer? Oh, and big boobs and bbq.

07-02-2019, 05:32 AM - 1 Like	#68529
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by Racer X 69 You need at least twice the amount of garlic. Always.

07-02-2019, 05:37 AM - 2 Likes	#68530
savoche Master of the obvious Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Lowlands of Norway Posts: 18,311	Originally posted by rod_grant Is there any other kind? Hey, if they can call Bud Light "beer"...!

07-02-2019, 05:48 AM - 5 Likes	#68531
FantasticMrFox Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Munich Posts: 2,339	Originally posted by savoche X Ah yes, the five stages of grief:

07-02-2019, 07:59 AM	#68532
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	Originally posted by Parallax Yes, but the recipe said to use one bottle. it didn't say to buy only one bottle. In Australia you would buy a six pack - quantity discount - and still only cook one. How good is your maths to work out the quantity available for drinking?

07-02-2019, 08:03 AM	#68533
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	Originally posted by rod_grant Mark won't know what you are on about. But come on, Tim. Out with the full list - I don't remember most of it, but I'm sure that meat pies are in there! Football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars. Copied one from Yankee Land: baseball, burgers?, yyy and Chevrolet’s. I think that was the brand. One of our friends can enlighten us all as to whether burgers is right and for what yyy is the signifier.

07-02-2019, 08:05 AM - 1 Like	#68534
tim60 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2011 Photos: Albums Posts: 8,745	Originally posted by FantasticMrFox Ah yes, the five stages of grief: Did that come from one of your textbooks?

07-02-2019, 08:06 AM	#68535
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,068	Originally posted by tim60 Are you advertising Holden cars, or something? More like Bentley or Bugatti, B. Not H.