[adwb]

You will get the sympathy you crave once you post that you have found ;-

A new way to get out of it
A extremely inventive excuse
A get out that leaves the couple feeling incredibly sorry for you

You post these results for others to use to their benifit.

[abmj]

...
A get out that leaves the couple feeling incredibly sorry for you
...

Perhaps an extremely rare illness that will miraculously disappear after the wedding.

[Kerrowdown]

Just be aware it can sometimes cause a great rift in a friendship.

[btnapa]

I have just been asked to be the photographer at a friends wedding…..Bride and Groom getting ready, Church service etc etc. There is plenty of information on this forum about this common "ailment" ….. so I posted this only for the sympathy I may get…..

I shot weddings for pay for three years. I started out as a wild, lose cannon, photographing everything cool I saw. Until a couple of pros took me under their wings and taught me what a pro wedding photographer was supposed to do. It is a learning process. It takes time and you need lots of weddings to practice with.

Do these friends have the means to hire a pro or they just like your work and want you to do it? If they do not have the funds and need someone to do some shots, then make sure that it is clear that you are not a pro and set the bar such that they are ok with the results regardless of how they turn out.

I hung up my wedding photography hat in 2007 after three years of doing weddings. For a short three year wedding photography career, I have enough stories to write a few books or provide enough material for a multi-season TV series. If you decide to do it, get ready for some unexpected "fun."

If a friend or family member were to ask me to do it today, I would try to bow out of it gracefully as the rewards are not worth the risks even though I am seasoned enough to deliver the goods.

I would like to know how your story unfolds. Please let us know.

Oh, I almost forgot about the plea for sympathy. I am so sorry for you being put on the spot by your friends!!!

Happy shooting.

[aurele]

I'm an old retired person who has no aspirations in regard to photogaphy..... other than for my own ammusement..... but I know enough about photography to know what I don't know.... and there is so much! Any way I will help them... much the fool me....but what the hell......if you can't live dangerously in your latter years....then when can you.

Any way..... time to buy a diffuser or two..... work out this flash thing.... etc etc

To make it even more fun...... my wife is going to help!

You have absolutely no idea in the kind of mess you are running into... Many other said : "RUN !" , I say "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN !".

They probably asked you to spare a few hundreds / thousand bucks, and that's is a totaly stupid idea. This is going the day of their lives, and (no offence here) but you are probably not gonna produce the kind of image they are hopping you would.

So, say no, with the formula monochrome gave you, and RUN !

[btnapa]

I'm an old retired person who has no aspirations in regard to photogaphy..... other than for my own ammusement..... but I know enough about photography to know what I don't know.... and there is so much! Any way I will help them... much the fool me....but what the hell......if you can't live dangerously in your latter years....then when can you.

Any way..... time to buy a diffuser or two..... work out this flash thing.... etc etc

To make it even more fun...... my wife is going to help!

In that case make sure you have diffused flash as it is much more pleasing. A cheapo $15 Stofen will do the trick. Have a back up body just in case. If no back up body, bring anything even a point and shoot.

I like the living dangerously part. Even as a pro, I felt I was living dangerously every time I shot a wedding!

If you have decided to do it. Just do it and have fun. You might amaze yourself with the results. Again, make sure the bride and groom are ready for anything that comes out, good or bad.

Happy shooting.

[6BQ5]

I have just been asked to be the photographer at a friends wedding…..Bride and Groom getting ready, Church service etc etc. There is plenty of information on this forum about this common "ailment" ….. so I posted this only for the sympathy I may get…..

Ahh, the professional pressures put upon us amateurs ...

Will you be the sole primary photographer or are you a backup second photography to a paid professional?

[noelpolar]

Ahh, the professional pressures put upon us amateurs ...

Will you be the sole primary photographer or are you a backup second photography to a paid professional?

I'll be the only one...... but it's a late in life marrage..(50ish) so we hopefully will all be quite relaxed!

I have the cameras and lenses I need .... so no dramas there.....just need to work a bit more on getting nice soft light from my flash!

Many years ago I was once an electrician....... so I learnt how to manage friends and families expectations of me!

[micromacro]

I'll be the only one...... but it's a late in life marrage..(50ish) so we hopefully will all be quite relaxed!

Are you absolutely sure it will not be any bridezilla in 50ish?

I've never been a photographer in charge on friends wedding, but I've been a florist and wedding decorator in charge of family member's wedding ones. It's the most headache, the most mess, and the least appreciated job I've ever done. I offered my help 3 month prior the wedding, because I had some background in that field, but bride's family thought they can organize everything on their own. Fine with me, I offered.

I ended up with hysterically crying bride at evening before wedding asking me when she can find a florist for the NEXT day (nowhere,dear!), not decorated place, and I have worked on that from Friday evening to Saturday evening straight on coffee and no rest at all. I've never thought I can do it!

Thankfully, no flowers dropped from huge cascade bouquet, which I made with materials from Wallmart (!). I was lucky to find fresh flowers driving all around in morning, and no one compensated me my extra about 100 dollars for flowers and materials as promised.
I was "dead" on wedding party, and wanted only one thing- go home to sleep. But instead I've been taking pictures because who else? I learned my lessons, and attend family/friends weddings as a guest ONLY.

Taking care of weddings is serious business. Either you are in, or you're just there for pleasure, taking some pictures, or helping a bit. But not in between those two statuses. It horrifies me.

[btnapa]

Are you absolutely sure it will not be any bridezilla in 50ish?

I've never been a photographer in charge on friends wedding, but I've been a florist and wedding decorator in charge of family member's wedding ones. It's the most headache, the most mess, and the least appreciated job I've ever done. I offered my help 3 month prior the wedding, because I had some background in that field, but bride's family thought they can organize everything on their own. Fine with me, I offered.

I ended up with hysterically crying bride at evening before wedding asking me when she can find a florist for the NEXT day (nowhere,dear!), not decorated place, and I have worked on that from Friday evening to Saturday evening straight on coffee and no rest at all. I've never thought I can do it!

Thankfully, no flowers dropped from huge cascade bouquet, which I made with materials from Wallmart (!). I was lucky to find fresh flowers driving all around in morning, and no one compensated me my extra about 100 dollars for flowers and materials as promised.
I was "dead" on wedding party, and wanted only one thing- go home to sleep. But instead I've been taking pictures because who else? I learned my lessons, and attend family/friends weddings as a guest ONLY.

Taking care of weddings is serious business. Either you are in, or you're just there for pleasure, taking some pictures, or helping a bit. But not in between those two statuses. It horrifies me.

I agree with you totally. That is why I decline any family requests even if they want to pay. I always refer them to my friends in the business.

If the bottom drops out,I can come to the rescue but doing last minute photos is a a breeze compared to last minute flowers. I don't even want to think about that. Kudos to you for pulling it off. In my pro photography days, I worked with a lot of florists and the amount of work they do is mind boggling.

[GibbyTheMole]

I was asked to shoot a wedding this weekend, and I declined. They were even gonna pay me, but to me it's not worth the potential hassle.

[micromacro]

I worked with a lot of florists and the amount of work they do is mind boggling.

Yep, you know it. From another side, I could substitute here, compromise there: using safety pins, glue, cover "crappy" corner with balloons, doing fast, but acceptable work. You as photographer don't have much room for compromising. It's final. And you are responsible for all that. Scary.

[aleonx3]

I believe the right answer (as most would agree) should be "no" since you may ruin someone's lifetime experience...and also your friendship. However, if you set the proper level of expectation up front and making sure that they understand that you are not a pro (or just a beginner). Some people don't mind and they just want to have some record of fond memories... that's all, no fancy stuff.

Having said that, I have done quite a few weddings and have enjoyed reasonable successful results, I even make photo books for them and they are very happy about that.... another point I like to make is to find a partner, who can help you with the setup and also take backup shots as well as more coverage besides the bride-and-groom.

[SpecialK]

I would say "don't", but if you do, have a reliable flash and decent zoom, and just try to be documentary.

If you get a good shot of : Cake, ring, B&G&official, garter toss, bouquet toss, and a full length of the bride (dress) - you will have met the bare minimum requirements. If you get the B&G, and B&G w attendants, that will help. Then come the moms and dads and family, then....up to you.

[polachekphotography]

^Agreed with aleonx3. Managing expectations is key, and they vary widely from couple to couple. Some want to be photographed standing on top of a mountain, while others are content to have well-exposed images of the entire family all dressed up and happy, all in the same place at the same time.


I will point out that weddings are incredibly challenging as they require a broad set of skills. At any given time you could be required to be a portrait photographer, a photojournalist, a family/kid photographer, a macro/detail shooter, a wrangler, an event coordinator, and a problem solver. You need to know your gear inside and out and be prepared for just about anything, as you're not getting a second chance to capture the ceremony. If you're stressed and frustrated during the day and show it, that will be picked up by the couple and make for a negative experience. I think that's why many will warn you that you're walking into a buzzsaw, but if you're confident in your skills and feel that you can deliver what they expect then it is completely doable.


Obviously there is inherent risk to the friendship if things don't turn out as hoped, so that will need to be taken into account. If you're not comfortable with what's going to be asked of you, then it would be best to communicate that with the couple and politely decline.


All that being said, it sounds like you've decided to proceed so good luck and have fun with it!