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10-08-2014, 07:00 PM   #1
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Have been asked to be the Photographer at a friends wedding.

I have just been asked to be the photographer at a friends wedding…..Bride and Groom getting ready, Church service etc etc. There is plenty of information on this forum about this common "ailment" ….. so I posted this only for the sympathy I may get…..

10-08-2014, 07:27 PM   #2
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One method to prevent sympathy is to kindly say no.

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10-08-2014, 07:39 PM   #3
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QuoteOriginally posted by Miguel Quote
One method to prevent sympathy is to kindly say no.

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Basically this... unless you are a wedding photographer by trade... otherwise it's heartache, pain, suffering, and the reward is not much in terms of satisfaction unless you have fantastic skills.
10-08-2014, 07:49 PM   #4
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Well do you want to do it?

10-08-2014, 07:57 PM   #5
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You know what our advice will be - RUN!
Maybe as a wedding gift offer to pitch in for a professional?
10-08-2014, 08:15 PM   #6
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I did that once. I will never do that again.
10-08-2014, 08:25 PM   #7
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"Oh my dear, no, I can't imagine not being able to relax and share your happy day with you."
10-08-2014, 08:30 PM   #8
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QuoteOriginally posted by noelpolar Quote
I have just been asked to be the photographer at a friends wedding…..Bride and Groom getting ready, Church service etc etc. There is plenty of information on this forum about this common "ailment" ….. so I posted this only for the sympathy I may get…..
Figure out how much you'd spend on their wedding present, double or treble it and give them a check now as your contribution to their wedding "photographer fund". They can't say no to the gift, you're off the hook and can actually enjoy their wedding day.

It will be much, much cheaper, financially and emotionally, than trying to equip yourself and learn something you hadn't really had an interest in doing. You might even stay friends.

10-08-2014, 09:21 PM   #9
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If you are not a wedding photographer by trade, just say no thank you. Trust us on this. You can't win and will not be able to enjoy your friend's wedding.

Back in the mists of time I did just as you have been asked a couple of times. Never again. The stress was immense and re-shoots not possible.
10-08-2014, 09:40 PM   #10
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If you want to stay friends do the research and find them an excellent, experienced, professional wedding photographer. Find the photographer, ask the happy couple to coffee under the auspices of discussing the happy day, and introduce them to the wedding photographer that isn't you. Your contribution to the wedding photographs will be this moment. "The Happiest Day of Their Life" is not a day for amateurs.
10-08-2014, 09:43 PM   #11
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I have to agree with many on this one, unless you have all your ducks in a row...say no! It could turn ugly..friendships etc.
It's hard to shoot when your stressed out, let someone else shoot....you enjoy the wedding.
10-08-2014, 09:52 PM   #12
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If you are, in fact, interested in wedding photography in the future, ask the photographer you choose if you can assist on another wedding that they have booked in the future, not your friends'. To be clear, do not ask if you can assist at your friends' wedding. The fact that you got him or her the gig with your friends should give you a little bit of an "in" as his or her assistant in the future. It might be as a "camera pa" but it would be a start for you.
10-08-2014, 10:14 PM   #13
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I'm an old retired person who has no aspirations in regard to photogaphy..... other than for my own ammusement..... but I know enough about photography to know what I don't know.... and there is so much! Any way I will help them... much the fool me....but what the hell......if you can't live dangerously in your latter years....then when can you.

Any way..... time to buy a diffuser or two..... work out this flash thing.... etc etc

To make it even more fun...... my wife is going to help!
10-08-2014, 10:16 PM   #14
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I did one back in the 70's before every guest had a camera and it turned out OK. I did another for my brother-in-law in the 80's. The pictures turned out great but I was really bugged by the negative comments from the brides family about my choice of location before the shoot. That was the last for me! These days it seems that every guest and their dog has a camera and are are always getting in the way of the hired photographer. That would really bother me.
10-08-2014, 10:49 PM   #15
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I've done a couple weddings for friends and in a masochistic kind of way, I actually enjoyed them. It was a challenge to figure out the things to do, the things to carry, and the plans that worked and the ones that didn't. And I captured some wonderful moments (some better photographically than others). I really liked the problem solving part - knowing how the light was going to change and what I'd need to do to adjust - maybe faster lenses, maybe remote flashes, maybe wider lenses for some scenes. I liked anticipating what I'd need and when I'd need it and then letting my "training" allow me to execute the plan. But then I like that kind of stuff - I am a planner by nature.

For me it was easier I think - my friends see my pics frequently and I think they know what I take and what to expect. The hardest part for me was overthinking and trying to do too much. If you focus on what you do well and do a couple new things to enhance what you do, it will turn out fine.
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