I'd like to have a digital camera equipped with something to help me out in those annoying moments when a total stranger starts giving me unwanted technical advice. I seem to keep getting that sort of hassle, because I'm someone who finds the most pleasure in getting good results out of basic, even primitive gear. Which means that, annoyingly often, some bozo festooned with all the latest hi-tech photo gubbinses will sidle up to me and offer some nugget of wisdom from his position of assumed superiority.
So what I'd like is a camera that I could set with a ten second timer delay, before handing it to the bozo in question for him to have a closer sneer at such inferior gear. Then, when the countdown hits zero, it would deliver an incapacitating electric shock. Nothing fatal; just nice and painful.
I suppose the camera would need a built in airbag or somesuch too. To cushion the fall.