Wife has demanded a spreadsheet on photography expenditure

**Ash** · 10-06-2010, 01:08 PM

Have you sold it to him in that way, mel?
And does he also feel he has that freedom to do the same?
If your finances allow, then hey, why not!

mel · 10-07-2010, 04:12 AM

Naw I'm just whining. Finances don't really allow right now. But I still cringe whenever I look at his collection of running gear you know? Lol. I haven't gotten any new camera toys in ages and I'm starting to exhibit symptoms of withdrawl.

PentaxMom Felua · 10-07-2010, 04:39 AM

Hi Mel, I was whining too, having had a little money inherited ... You see, I spend it on a new vacuum cleaner (the old one was almost dead) a new coffeemaker (same story) and a larger laundry machine (the old one was old old too). Then of course the children could all do with some new clothes and shoes, and my sweet husband and oldest son needed support in their hopeless joined venture the crazy old car and who is going to drive it today. Then of course the others were entitled to have their share in supportting their hobby and then, very brilliantly, my husband suggested that I shoudl have something too, like a nice new jeans (I have three, two very old and patched and one newish and I don't do dresses). Boy, that would be something. He saw my face and then said, well, maybe not, maybe better some ebay shopping.

mel · 10-07-2010, 04:56 AM

Originally posted by PentaxMom Felua

Hi Mel, I was whining too, having had a little money inherited ... You see, I spend it on a new vacuum cleaner (the old one was almost dead) a new coffeemaker (same story) and a larger laundry machine (the old one was old old too). Then of course the children could all do with some new clothes and shoes, and my sweet husband and oldest son needed support in their hopeless joined venture the crazy old car and who is going to drive it today. Then of course the others were entitled to have their share in supportting their hobby and then, very brilliantly, my husband suggested that I shoudl have something too, like a nice new jeans (I have three, two very old and patched and one newish and I don't do dresses). Boy, that would be something. He saw my face and then said, well, maybe not, maybe better some ebay shopping.

Isn't that just how it always goes though? We get a little extra something and it goes to house and family every time. I took a second job over the summer teaching photography and photoshop to kids at an arts camp and made some pretty good money. The plan was to invest about 2/3 of it back into gear (like a really nice lens or something). But no. Daddy thought it would be a good idea for the two teenagers to go on a scouts scuba trip and every last cent went to that. I think I'll go get my hair and nails done or something.

PentaxMom Felua · 10-07-2010, 05:35 AM

Yeah, I definetly need a second pair of shoes, walking ones. Not cheap or easy, as my left foot is more than one size larger than the right one....Love my hopeless husband and crazy sons though. In the end it all comes down to that

. Reina.

magkelly · 10-07-2010, 09:31 AM

I pretty much gave up eating real food for lunch for a couple of months to buy my Yashica FRI kit and I'm still getting mean looks from the peanut gallery. We had to buy a new A/C wall unit, but my Hello Kitty bank still has a few DSLR $$$ left. I just know though that come Dec someone's going to suggest that I use that $$$ for Christmas presents for someone ELSE even though it's my DSLR money and I've been working my arse off to collect it. I've never yet gotten to the point where I've had enough $$$ in there that something else doesn't come up that it needs to go toward. It drives me nuts. I get SO close and every darned time off it goes.

I'm learning to say "no" finally though. I did contribute a little towards the new A/C, had to or fry, but I didn't just hand it all over and give up the idea of having my DSLR soon entirely. Oh, did I get glares for not offering it ALL, but I just smiled and ignored them this time.

melander · 10-07-2010, 10:18 AM

Ask her to make a spreadsheat of how much she has spent on haircuts, make up and clothes in the last 20 years. I bet that she has spent a heck of a lot more than you on your camera.

And this is the reason for seperate economy, share the bills, then keep whats left on your account. Spend it as you like. This is why I would never have a housewife

thomascdk · 10-07-2010, 11:54 AM

I gave the wife an LX. Result: No questions about the (growing) lens collection. Only problem is that the K50/1.2 is now permanently attached to the LX (and the cost of developing films).

zerodaze · 10-07-2010, 12:21 PM

What a fun forum to read. It has helped me understand that "it could be a lot worse." My wife is everything to me, partly because we both make good salaries (but work very long weeks) and mostly because she likes to see me happy (aside from the whole soulmate thing). If a cheap used lens through the marketplace does that by giving me an excuse to walk around taking pictures, it is really okay. I make sure I take lots of pictures of her.

And yes, both incomes go into a joint account; I wouldn't have it any other way.

**Ash** · 10-07-2010, 01:02 PM

Some interesting posts here, keeping it all real.

Originally posted by melander

Ask her to make a spreadsheat of how much she has spent on haircuts, make up and clothes in the last 20 years. I bet that she has spent a heck of a lot more than you on your camera.

And this is the reason for seperate economy, share the bills, then keep whats left on your account. Spend it as you like. This is why I would never have a housewife

Each to their own, but as many married couples will tell you, this is not the way towards marital bliss.

Marriage is much more than just a financial and reproductive partnership.

builttospill · 10-07-2010, 01:23 PM

Hey M, maybe you can do something to get her to loosen up about your purchases. I don't know if you have kids or not, but my wife has offered to pay film developing costs for me if there are pictures of our two kids on the rolls (instead of the money coming out of my photography business account). Even if you don't have kids maybe you could flatter her by doing some nice portraits with a new lens. Take some couple portraits if you don't have kids and offer to frame them nicely.

My wife keeps asking me to do a formal family portrait, and it makes her really happy to see the results from pictures of our children.

einstrigger · 10-07-2010, 02:37 PM

I'm amazed running into this thread. My wife has not asked for a spreadsheet, but I decided to make one just to keep tabs on my inventory/LBA.

In any case, she is always astonished at the price of glass, but pretty much allows me to do "my thing" because:

1) We have separate finances and bank accounts...

2) But, we have full disclosure of said accounts.

3) We have a communal account for bills and the household budget.

So I get to spend my reserves the way I want and she with hers. Despite that, I know there are underlying concerns about the money spent on glass, so I try to put her mind at ease by taking awesome pictures that she can put on her Facebook page

thrillerb · 10-07-2010, 07:46 PM

My wife is a non-profit event planner who has a blog. (By non-profit, I mean she plans parties for friends for free.) She had me take pics for her blog and events for the first couple of months. Then I showed her how to use the camera to take her own phots. I also dropped hints that with some better lens, she could take more creative pics.

Plan worked like a charm. She loves the Sigma 18 - 50 2.8 macro that I picked up to photography one of her events. Haven't heard a word of complaint about how much was spent.

JeffJS · 10-07-2010, 08:56 PM

Originally posted by thrillerb

My wife is a non-profit event planner who has a blog. (By non-profit, I mean she plans parties for friends for free.) She had me take pics for her blog and events for the first couple of months. Then I showed her how to use the camera to take her own phots. I also dropped hints that with some better lens, she could take more creative pics.

Plan worked like a charm. She loves the Sigma 18 - 50 2.8 macro that I picked up to photography one of her events. Haven't heard a word of complaint about how much was spent.

.... But do YOU still get to use the camera?

Steve Beswick · 10-08-2010, 02:44 AM

Originally posted by mel

You know, whenever these conversations come up I always wish that some of the reasoning worked on my husband. I don't have an extensive fancy wardrobe, don't buy clothes or shoes very often (less often than he does actually), don't spend money on hair, nails, makeup, purses, or any of the girly stuff. So why can't I buy lenses? Not fair. I know women that will drop $200 every six weeks on their hair easy. But not me. I just want a new lens once in a while.

Take the "Not fair" out of it, and say exactly this to your husband.

10-07-2010, 01:02 PM	#55
Ash Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Toowoomba, Queensland Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 23,920	Some interesting posts here, keeping it all real. Originally posted by melander Ask her to make a spreadsheat of how much she has spent on haircuts, make up and clothes in the last 20 years. I bet that she has spent a heck of a lot more than you on your camera. And this is the reason for seperate economy, share the bills, then keep whats left on your account. Spend it as you like. This is why I would never have a housewife Each to their own, but as many married couples will tell you, this is not the way towards marital bliss. Marriage is much more than just a financial and reproductive partnership. Last edited by Ash; 10-07-2010 at 01:08 PM.

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10-06-2010, 01:08 PM	#46
Ash Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Toowoomba, Queensland Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 23,920	Have you sold it to him in that way, mel? And does he also feel he has that freedom to do the same? If your finances allow, then hey, why not!

10-07-2010, 04:12 AM	#47
mel Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Virginia Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 2,531	Naw I'm just whining. Finances don't really allow right now. But I still cringe whenever I look at his collection of running gear you know? Lol. I haven't gotten any new camera toys in ages and I'm starting to exhibit symptoms of withdrawl.

10-07-2010, 04:39 AM	#48
PentaxMom Felua Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Veluwe Posts: 339	Hi Mel, I was whining too, having had a little money inherited ... You see, I spend it on a new vacuum cleaner (the old one was almost dead) a new coffeemaker (same story) and a larger laundry machine (the old one was old old too). Then of course the children could all do with some new clothes and shoes, and my sweet husband and oldest son needed support in their hopeless joined venture the crazy old car and who is going to drive it today. Then of course the others were entitled to have their share in supportting their hobby and then, very brilliantly, my husband suggested that I shoudl have something too, like a nice new jeans (I have three, two very old and patched and one newish and I don't do dresses). Boy, that would be something. He saw my face and then said, well, maybe not, maybe better some ebay shopping.

10-07-2010, 04:56 AM	#49
mel Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Virginia Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 2,531	Originally posted by PentaxMom Felua Hi Mel, I was whining too, having had a little money inherited ... You see, I spend it on a new vacuum cleaner (the old one was almost dead) a new coffeemaker (same story) and a larger laundry machine (the old one was old old too). Then of course the children could all do with some new clothes and shoes, and my sweet husband and oldest son needed support in their hopeless joined venture the crazy old car and who is going to drive it today. Then of course the others were entitled to have their share in supportting their hobby and then, very brilliantly, my husband suggested that I shoudl have something too, like a nice new jeans (I have three, two very old and patched and one newish and I don't do dresses). Boy, that would be something. He saw my face and then said, well, maybe not, maybe better some ebay shopping. Isn't that just how it always goes though? We get a little extra something and it goes to house and family every time. I took a second job over the summer teaching photography and photoshop to kids at an arts camp and made some pretty good money. The plan was to invest about 2/3 of it back into gear (like a really nice lens or something). But no. Daddy thought it would be a good idea for the two teenagers to go on a scouts scuba trip and every last cent went to that. I think I'll go get my hair and nails done or something.

10-07-2010, 05:35 AM	#50
PentaxMom Felua Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Veluwe Posts: 339	Yeah, I definetly need a second pair of shoes, walking ones. Not cheap or easy, as my left foot is more than one size larger than the right one....Love my hopeless husband and crazy sons though. In the end it all comes down to that . Reina.

10-07-2010, 09:31 AM	#51
magkelly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Photos: Gallery Posts: 5,901	I pretty much gave up eating real food for lunch for a couple of months to buy my Yashica FRI kit and I'm still getting mean looks from the peanut gallery. We had to buy a new A/C wall unit, but my Hello Kitty bank still has a few DSLR $$$ left. I just know though that come Dec someone's going to suggest that I use that $$$ for Christmas presents for someone ELSE even though it's my DSLR money and I've been working my arse off to collect it. I've never yet gotten to the point where I've had enough $$$ in there that something else doesn't come up that it needs to go toward. It drives me nuts. I get SO close and every darned time off it goes. I'm learning to say "no" finally though. I did contribute a little towards the new A/C, had to or fry, but I didn't just hand it all over and give up the idea of having my DSLR soon entirely. Oh, did I get glares for not offering it ALL, but I just smiled and ignored them this time.

10-07-2010, 10:18 AM	#52
melander Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Sweden, Umea Posts: 876	Ask her to make a spreadsheat of how much she has spent on haircuts, make up and clothes in the last 20 years. I bet that she has spent a heck of a lot more than you on your camera. And this is the reason for seperate economy, share the bills, then keep whats left on your account. Spend it as you like. This is why I would never have a housewife

10-07-2010, 11:54 AM	#53
thomascdk Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Copenhagen Posts: 258	I gave the wife an LX. Result: No questions about the (growing) lens collection. Only problem is that the K50/1.2 is now permanently attached to the LX (and the cost of developing films).

10-07-2010, 12:21 PM	#54
zerodaze Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 57	What a fun forum to read. It has helped me understand that "it could be a lot worse." My wife is everything to me, partly because we both make good salaries (but work very long weeks) and mostly because she likes to see me happy (aside from the whole soulmate thing). If a cheap used lens through the marketplace does that by giving me an excuse to walk around taking pictures, it is really okay. I make sure I take lots of pictures of her. And yes, both incomes go into a joint account; I wouldn't have it any other way.

10-07-2010, 01:23 PM	#56
builttospill Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Utah, Idaho Photos: Gallery Posts: 2,398	Hey M, maybe you can do something to get her to loosen up about your purchases. I don't know if you have kids or not, but my wife has offered to pay film developing costs for me if there are pictures of our two kids on the rolls (instead of the money coming out of my photography business account). Even if you don't have kids maybe you could flatter her by doing some nice portraits with a new lens. Take some couple portraits if you don't have kids and offer to frame them nicely. My wife keeps asking me to do a formal family portrait, and it makes her really happy to see the results from pictures of our children.

10-07-2010, 02:37 PM	#57
einstrigger Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Sacramento, CA Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 728	I'm amazed running into this thread. My wife has not asked for a spreadsheet, but I decided to make one just to keep tabs on my inventory/LBA. In any case, she is always astonished at the price of glass, but pretty much allows me to do "my thing" because: 1) We have separate finances and bank accounts... 2) But, we have full disclosure of said accounts. 3) We have a communal account for bills and the household budget. So I get to spend my reserves the way I want and she with hers. Despite that, I know there are underlying concerns about the money spent on glass, so I try to put her mind at ease by taking awesome pictures that she can put on her Facebook page

10-07-2010, 07:46 PM	#58
thrillerb Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 60	My wife is a non-profit event planner who has a blog. (By non-profit, I mean she plans parties for friends for free.) She had me take pics for her blog and events for the first couple of months. Then I showed her how to use the camera to take her own phots. I also dropped hints that with some better lens, she could take more creative pics. Plan worked like a charm. She loves the Sigma 18 - 50 2.8 macro that I picked up to photography one of her events. Haven't heard a word of complaint about how much was spent.

10-07-2010, 08:56 PM	#59
JeffJS Inactive Account Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Michigan, USA Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 7,484	Originally posted by thrillerb My wife is a non-profit event planner who has a blog. (By non-profit, I mean she plans parties for friends for free.) She had me take pics for her blog and events for the first couple of months. Then I showed her how to use the camera to take her own phots. I also dropped hints that with some better lens, she could take more creative pics. Plan worked like a charm. She loves the Sigma 18 - 50 2.8 macro that I picked up to photography one of her events. Haven't heard a word of complaint about how much was spent. .... But do YOU still get to use the camera?

10-08-2010, 02:44 AM	#60
Steve Beswick Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Ontario, California Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,736	Originally posted by mel You know, whenever these conversations come up I always wish that some of the reasoning worked on my husband. I don't have an extensive fancy wardrobe, don't buy clothes or shoes very often (less often than he does actually), don't spend money on hair, nails, makeup, purses, or any of the girly stuff. So why can't I buy lenses? Not fair. I know women that will drop $200 every six weeks on their hair easy. But not me. I just want a new lens once in a while. Take the "Not fair" out of it, and say exactly this to your husband.