Originally posted by Peter Zack I try as much as possible to not use the flash so as not to be a constant bother for the service. The photographer should be part of the group and not stand out any more than necessary.
I will attest to this from a groom's point of view. Although it was many years ago one of the things that sticks out in my mind about our photographer is how he almost became part of the family that day. His personality and pleasantness was almost more important than the finished photos (almost).
My wife and I had been part of a wedding party 2 weeks prior to our own wedding and the photographer was a nightmare. Barking orders, yelling about us joking around during the time between church and reception, trying to get us to stay together ALL the time, etc. so the contrast to our own photographer was noticable.
In the end the photos turned out great as well and EVERYBODY commented on how nice the photographer was. This made our wedding day even more memorable. (and I couldn't even tell you what kind of camera equipment he used....)