Black & White Japan garden.

pavpen · 03-01-2014, 05:13 PM

Thank you for critique.
Cheers.

j2photos · 03-01-2014, 05:59 PM

I like it but the whole image is leaning to the right, I would straighten it up a little. That is the only thing I see that I could correct.

FrankC · 03-01-2014, 07:08 PM

Good job on the exposure. Snow scenes can difficult at times to get the metering right.
I suppose you intended for your main subject to be the Japanese garden decoration. If the decoration is to be the main subject then why does it occupy only about 5% of the frame? The background is so incredibly busy and distracting that it is not only difficult for the viewer to fully understand where to look but the decoration (especially at the top) is blending into the background.

The foreground appears to have some dark areas that are running horizontally to the right of the decoration. This area seems like it could possibly mimic the shape of the decoration. If so, then moving 90 degrees to your right and getting in closer would create a composition composed of two similar shapes (the garden decoration and the dark water/ice area below) Getting in close to fill the frame with just those elements and while using an f/stop to get just that area in focus is how I'd approach this scene.

pavpen · 03-01-2014, 09:54 PM

Originally posted by j2photos

I like it but the whole image is leaning to the right, I would straighten it up a little. That is the only thing I see that I could correct.

Thank you j2photos. Originally I was under same impression, but when I check level against the roof of the building on the background, perhaps the post is leaning to the right.
Cheers.

Originally posted by FrankC

Good job on the exposure. Snow scenes can difficult at times to get the metering right.
I suppose you intended for your main subject to be the Japanese garden decoration. If the decoration is to be the main subject then why does it occupy only about 5% of the frame? The background is so incredibly busy and distracting that it is not only difficult for the viewer to fully understand where to look but the decoration (especially at the top) is blending into the background.

The foreground appears to have some dark areas that are running horizontally to the right of the decoration. This area seems like it could possibly mimic the shape of the decoration. If so, then moving 90 degrees to your right and getting in closer would create a composition composed of two similar shapes (the garden decoration and the dark water/ice area below) Getting in close to fill the frame with just those elements and while using an f/stop to get just that area in focus is how I'd approach this scene.

Thank you FrankC for detailed feedback. I see your points for improvement. I used K-30 with 50 mm to measure exposure.
Cheers

RobG · 03-02-2014, 04:15 AM

Originally posted by pavpen

Thank you j2photos. Originally I was under same impression, but when I check level against the roof of the building on the background, perhaps the post is leaning to the right.
Cheers.

It's the lantern which is leaning - there's a tree in the top left which is quite vertical. As Frank said, the background is very busy. In particular, the line of the tree directly behind the lantern draws the eye up at an angle away from the subject. I'd try cropping to place the lantern on the left while leaving the pond on the right for context. With monochrome you have to be really careful about what is happening in the background. Also the snow makes it hard to go for a higher contrast result or the details of the snow will be lost.

Robert Hank · 03-03-2014, 04:41 AM

Beautiful tranquil scene
I would experiential with the framing though. Maybe a wider or panoramic crop might look better.

pavpen · 03-06-2014, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by Robert Hank

Beautiful tranquil scene
I would experiential with the framing though. Maybe a wider or panoramic crop might look better.

Thank you Robert. The panoramic crop definitely works.
Cheers.

03-01-2014, 05:13 PM	#1
pavpen Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: US Photos: Albums Posts: 381	Japan garden. Lens: Rikenon 3.5 80 mm Camera: Ricoh Diacord ISO: 100 Shutter Speed: 1/200s Aperture: F4.5 Thank you for critique. Cheers. jgardn37cf \| Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Nature My Garden	hks_kansei	Photo Critique	2	04-20-2013 03:03 PM
Abstract garden face...	dcmsox2004	Post Your Photos!	5	11-20-2012 12:02 PM
Abstract Sculpture Garden	8540tomg	Post Your Photos!	4	08-21-2012 04:09 AM
Nature garden company	sunrepairer	Post Your Photos!	2	07-18-2012 08:32 PM
Macro Garden colors	volley	Post Your Photos!	6	07-15-2012 11:12 AM

03-01-2014, 05:59 PM	#2
j2photos Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Manteca, CA Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,653	I like it but the whole image is leaning to the right, I would straighten it up a little. That is the only thing I see that I could correct.

03-01-2014, 07:08 PM	#3
FrankC Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Photos: Gallery Posts: 322	Good job on the exposure. Snow scenes can difficult at times to get the metering right. I suppose you intended for your main subject to be the Japanese garden decoration. If the decoration is to be the main subject then why does it occupy only about 5% of the frame? The background is so incredibly busy and distracting that it is not only difficult for the viewer to fully understand where to look but the decoration (especially at the top) is blending into the background. The foreground appears to have some dark areas that are running horizontally to the right of the decoration. This area seems like it could possibly mimic the shape of the decoration. If so, then moving 90 degrees to your right and getting in closer would create a composition composed of two similar shapes (the garden decoration and the dark water/ice area below) Getting in close to fill the frame with just those elements and while using an f/stop to get just that area in focus is how I'd approach this scene.

03-01-2014, 09:54 PM	#4
pavpen Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: US Photos: Albums Posts: 381 Original Poster	Originally posted by j2photos I like it but the whole image is leaning to the right, I would straighten it up a little. That is the only thing I see that I could correct. Thank you j2photos. Originally I was under same impression, but when I check level against the roof of the building on the background, perhaps the post is leaning to the right. Cheers. Originally posted by FrankC Good job on the exposure. Snow scenes can difficult at times to get the metering right. I suppose you intended for your main subject to be the Japanese garden decoration. If the decoration is to be the main subject then why does it occupy only about 5% of the frame? The background is so incredibly busy and distracting that it is not only difficult for the viewer to fully understand where to look but the decoration (especially at the top) is blending into the background. The foreground appears to have some dark areas that are running horizontally to the right of the decoration. This area seems like it could possibly mimic the shape of the decoration. If so, then moving 90 degrees to your right and getting in closer would create a composition composed of two similar shapes (the garden decoration and the dark water/ice area below) Getting in close to fill the frame with just those elements and while using an f/stop to get just that area in focus is how I'd approach this scene. Thank you FrankC for detailed feedback. I see your points for improvement. I used K-30 with 50 mm to measure exposure. Cheers

03-02-2014, 04:15 AM	#5
RobG Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canberra Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 8,891	Originally posted by pavpen Thank you j2photos. Originally I was under same impression, but when I check level against the roof of the building on the background, perhaps the post is leaning to the right. Cheers. It's the lantern which is leaning - there's a tree in the top left which is quite vertical. As Frank said, the background is very busy. In particular, the line of the tree directly behind the lantern draws the eye up at an angle away from the subject. I'd try cropping to place the lantern on the left while leaving the pond on the right for context. With monochrome you have to be really careful about what is happening in the background. Also the snow makes it hard to go for a higher contrast result or the details of the snow will be lost.

03-03-2014, 04:41 AM	#6
Robert Hank Inactive Account Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 27	Beautiful tranquil scene I would experiential with the framing though. Maybe a wider or panoramic crop might look better.

03-06-2014, 12:39 PM	#7
pavpen Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: US Photos: Albums Posts: 381 Original Poster	Originally posted by Robert Hank Beautiful tranquil scene I would experiential with the framing though. Maybe a wider or panoramic crop might look better. Thank you Robert. The panoramic crop definitely works. Cheers.