[tweet25]

black and white or colour - or not at all ??

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[Miguel]

Nice try, but I'd say try again.

The tone of either shot is blah, unmoody, unmoving. You need more dramatic lighting. It seems like you are trying to recreate some sense of the 1940s exaggerated or cartoonish noir perhaps, but the tones then were much more lively.
Also the framing needs work. The upper left quadrant--key real estate in most frames--is simply a grey reflection of a wall or doorways or something uninspiring.
Sorry to be so blunt, but nothing personal intended.

M

[coboren3]

The B&W seems to lack some luster. Contrast needs to be increased.

[tweet25]

thank you for the cc. Not taking it personal, . When you say it should have more dramatic lighting, can elaborate? Brighter, darker? More shadows? Thanks again

[schnitzer79]

although its a great portrait, it looks kind of bland.did a quick fix in cs6.dont know what others think but i kind of like it and believe it works

[Miguel]

Usually I dislike it when people mess with other folks' art, but I do like the above change quite a bit.

M

[esrandall]

I like the sepia tone, too. It brings out the dreaminess in the blur around the vanity area. The sepia really blurs the phone (on the far left) out, which draws my eye more to the main subject.

[schnitzer79]

Dont like messing with other peoples photos either but i thought it give it a go anyway. Tweaked the levels and contrast a bit, applied a gaussian blur layer except for the eyes and lips, and added one of the b&w presets in topaz labs as well as a vignette

[wildman]

I dislike it when people mess with other folks art

I understand but..

...they do ask for an opinion about a visual medium and often the most clear, direct and accurate way to give that opinion is to give it, in turn, visually.

Whatever one thinks of schnitzer's opinion that opinion would have been difficult to convey accurately and completely without a visual example.

Words, in photography, can be limiting.

[BATMON]

I understand but..

...they do ask for an opinion about a visual medium and often the most clear, direct and accurate way to give that opinion is to give it, in turn, visually.

Whatever one thinks of schnitzer's opinion that opinion would have been difficult to convey accurately and completely without a visual example.

Words, in photography, can be limiting.

B&W w a touch of grain...if your going for that era is my suggestion.

[Miguel]

My comments below are offered more for the record and not singling out anything negative in this good thread. The alternative image provided was surely offered in good will, plus it was a serious change that I at least was impressed by. I also assume that the OP and others found it to be very valuable.

...they do ask for an opinion about a visual medium and often the most clear, direct and accurate way to give that opinion is to give it, in turn, visually.

But you are ignoring the context of where the request for feedback stems: a critique forum. In any ASMP-derived portfolio review activities I've participated in, the nature of feedback is purposely limited to the "what" issues around the image: what you see, what you like, what can be improved.

Many folks, myself included, find more comfort veering over to the "how to do" aisle, which includes offering up alternative iterations of the original art, along with some information about how it was done. That's not critique, that's instruction. Again, offered with the highest good will, but to me off the mark usually. There are a few problems with this approach.
- One is a matter of copyright. Unless the artist expressly grants permission for others to hack his or her work, I try to respect that and would not want someone to do that to my stuff.
- Secondly there is a consequence of creating derivative work. What happens if it is so good that one can make money off of it? While the pure legal questions are mostly known, the social aspects (see the Facebook defriended thread) of using someone else's image can be a real PITA. So limiting the type of "instructional" vs. "critical" responses can prevent headaches. I'm certain it's a non-issue here, but elsewhere I've heard stories.
-Thirdly sometimes there becomes a competition of sorts to improve an OP's original image. While that can be interesting indeed, an OP's needs can become secondary to the output of the Photoshop jockeys.
-Fourth, seeing an alternative version of an OP's image can serve as to lock-in a set of improvements or changes. I think there is greater value for an OP to take the longer path and figure out some things beyond copying a set of how-to technical instructions.

Again, I have no pain with any of this stuff being done in this thread, and in non-critique contexts.

M

[patrickjohnson]

Its looking nice good work.