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11-30-2014, 12:12 AM   #1
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Seductive look
Lens: Sigma DX 17-50mm F2.8 Camera: Pentax K3 Photo Location: Bucharest ISO: 400 Shutter Speed: 1/90s Aperture: F2.8 

Hello!


This photo is part of the album `2- 7- 12` . The photo shootings (twelve in total) took place on a two day span, in which 7 girls were involved. This photo is part of one such photo shooting.
I would greatly appreciate every critique, that can cover every basis (technique, editing, composition, ect. ) so I can grow. Thank you for the time you' ve given to look at my work and even more so, for your critiques!

The shutter speed is 1/ 100, but this option isn' t available in the thread settings.

All the best!


Color:




Black and white:



11-30-2014, 03:35 AM   #2
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Looks good, pose fits the title perfectly, good choice of subject.

My only critique is that it looks as though you have done a lot of smoothing around her lips/nose/chin and brow, am I correct?

Those areas to me feel a little too smooth, the lips almost look like they have been painted on afterwards. The lady looks to have very nice skin naturally, so I feel that very little smoothing is necessary.

I would also perhaps suggest maybe stopping down the lens a little, the eyes are a little soft, but the ears are sharp. Stopping down 1 or 2 would have allowed the entire face to be sharp, and the black background would mean that the extra DOF wouldn't cause the loss of the subject isolation.
11-30-2014, 03:51 AM   #3
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QuoteOriginally posted by hks_kansei Quote
Looks good, pose fits the title perfectly, good choice of subject.

My only critique is that it looks as though you have done a lot of smoothing around her lips/nose/chin and brow, am I correct?

Those areas to me feel a little too smooth, the lips almost look like they have been painted on afterwards. The lady looks to have very nice skin naturally, so I feel that very little smoothing is necessary.

I would also perhaps suggest maybe stopping down the lens a little, the eyes are a little soft, but the ears are sharp. Stopping down 1 or 2 would have allowed the entire face to be sharp, and the black background would mean that the extra DOF wouldn't cause the loss of the subject isolation.

Hello,

Thank you for the time you took to look at my work and critique it.
About the smoothing:
The lips are edited (some areas were retouched- nothing major) , but not smoothened. They are soft from the F- stop (as you mentioned) . Interesting thing about it is that I used auto- focus and the point was set for the nose around the eyes. Didn' t really focus where it should. This isn' t an excuse as I should have checked the shot immediately.
The lips were not painted afterwards the make- up being done like this by the make- up artist.
Indeed, it lacks sharpness around the areas of interest.
Smoothing has been done, for the cheeks, as they were excessively glowing from the flash.
Lessons learned: check photo to see everything is OK if you `feel` it' s special.

Thank you again for the feedback!


All the best!

Last edited by urssu; 11-30-2014 at 04:00 AM.
11-30-2014, 11:23 AM   #4
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QuoteOriginally posted by urssu Quote
Hello,

Thank you for the time you took to look at my work and critique it.
About the smoothing:
The lips are edited (some areas were retouched- nothing major) , but not smoothened. They are soft from the F- stop (as you mentioned) . Interesting thing about it is that I used auto- focus and the point was set for the nose around the eyes. Didn' t really focus where it should. This isn' t an excuse as I should have checked the shot immediately.
The lips were not painted afterwards the make- up being done like this by the make- up artist.
Indeed, it lacks sharpness around the areas of interest.
Smoothing has been done, for the cheeks, as they were excessively glowing from the flash.
Lessons learned: check photo to see everything is OK if you `feel` it' s special.

Thank you again for the feedback!


All the best!
I usually don't comment to digital pics because I am just interested in film photography but...was it really necessary to retouch the lips of the model? Would it be possible to see the "natural" picture? Regarding the softness, which aperture have you used for this pic? Didn't it give you enough DOF to have the subject sharp enough?

11-30-2014, 11:31 AM   #5
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Hello,


I consider it necessary.
As you can see bellow, her teeth were showing.

Camera settings:

Seductive look
Lens: Sigma DX 17-50mm F2.8 Camera: Pentax K3 Photo Location: Bucharest ISO: 400 Shutter Speed: 1/90s Aperture: F2.8


The auto- focus was on her eyes, the nose around her eyes to be precise. I don' t really remember it focus hunting, so that' s why I didn' t check the shot.
Also the pose was a `fluke` , as it wasn' t really set up. It just happened.

So indeed, as I stated previously the most important lesson learned from this shot is to check the back of the camera after shooting to see the immediate result, if you feel something special caught your eye (analog and digital as well) .

But as far as the teeth go, I don' t like them in the frame. I like the image it would have given, a bit of arrogance, but not in this form or `size` . It' s a matter of personal taste, I suppose.

All the best!
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Last edited by urssu; 11-30-2014 at 11:55 AM.
11-30-2014, 11:49 AM   #6
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Mmm... the teeth are fine and to be honest I would rather keep them or shoot another shot asking her to close the lips (with digital cameras you should have immediately noticed it I assume), but my general feeling (I might be wrong) is that the picture is soft because of the lightning not lack of DOF (at f2.8 mininum should have plenty of DOF) or perhaps you have a lousy lens because the profile of the model is slightly blurred. The hair are better in the original pic than the retouched one, of course increasing the contrast you got the bypass product that the hair results "fused" in the dark background while in the original pic they are clearly two separate entities, one in the background and blurred the other one sharp and crisp...I like the model very much, she lloks like the younger sister of Claudia Black (I don't know if you are familiar with her, you may google her) and I like the idea of the profile shot but I still think that if you had used a film camera with a nice lens you would have obtained a much better result... :P

Unfortunately I don't have nice ladies like her at hand at the moment so when I have to take pictures of models I have to use...ehm...myself. Out of curiosity you can compare you pic to my self portrait here:

https://www.pentaxforums.com/forums/41-photo-critique/276592-people-self-portray.html

my lips aren't as kissable as the one of the model, of course I didn't use any make up, no studio, the lightning was poor but still I think I got more detail from my lens (even at f1.2!) than from what I see in this unmodified picture, or the modified one for the matter. I would have been curious to shoot the model in the same pose with my camera and compare the results straight.
11-30-2014, 12:29 PM   #7
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This shot holds my attention which is a good thing.
I appreciate the decision to go B&W..
I also think it was judicious to retouch her lips--it makes a world of difference.

Opportunities for improvement:

I don't find the perspective particularly seductive. Her left eye is too closed so any power of her expression is seriously limited to me. More significant, I don't think the shot is very flattering to the model. The excessive neck folds are exacerbated by the type of rendering you created.

Also, there is too much black at the top. Not being able to differentiate the top of her head and the background calls attention to itself. Also, the resolution of her hair is too blocky; I'd like to see actual texture there, even more than the color version shows.

A good attempt but lots of room for improvement.

M
11-30-2014, 01:33 PM   #8
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QuoteOriginally posted by Miguel Quote
This shot holds my attention which is a good thing.
I appreciate the decision to go B&W..
I also think it was judicious to retouch her lips--it makes a world of difference.

Opportunities for improvement:

I don't find the perspective particularly seductive. Her left eye is too closed so any power of her expression is seriously limited to me. More significant, I don't think the shot is very flattering to the model. The excessive neck folds are exacerbated by the type of rendering you created.

Also, there is too much black at the top. Not being able to differentiate the top of her head and the background calls attention to itself. Also, the resolution of her hair is too blocky; I'd like to see actual texture there, even more than the color version shows.

A good attempt but lots of room for improvement.

M


Hello,


Thanks for the time you took to watch my work and critique it.
All I have to say is I will take into consideration what you' ve stated. I as well consider there' s much room for improvement, but I' m getting there (slowly, but am) .


All the best!

11-30-2014, 02:04 PM   #9
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QuoteOriginally posted by urssu Quote
Hello,


Thanks for the time you took to watch my work and critique it.
All I have to say is I will take into consideration what you' ve stated. I as well consider there' s much room for improvement, but I' m getting there (slowly, but am) .


All the best!
Don't worry, Miguel is overcritical, if you notice in my thread we had a long discussion regarding the opportunity of having a camera in front of you in a self portrait!

Let's face it: every woman that is not a plastic doll does have wrinkles on her neck when she turns her head at 90 degres over the shoulder, and unless she has protunding eyes if she stares directly at her back she will use the tail of her eyes, she's not a chamaleon, right? IMO the pose is very good and very sensual with her naked shoulder and back,even if the skin is not as smooth as a CG or anime woman, I agree with him regarding the issue black hair + dark background but the original pic is better on this matter because you can see that they are two separated objects.

Suggestion: why don't you try to shoot her in the same pose with your MX and the 50 mm f1.7, some good film (BW400CN and Portra), focus on the line or her profile and compare the results? That would be an interesting test IMO.
12-01-2014, 01:13 AM   #10
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QuoteOriginally posted by Cuthbert Quote
Don't worry, Miguel is overcritical, if you notice in my thread we had a long discussion regarding the opportunity of having a camera in front of you in a self portrait!

Let's face it: every woman that is not a plastic doll does have wrinkles on her neck when she turns her head at 90 degres over the shoulder, and unless she has protunding eyes if she stares directly at her back she will use the tail of her eyes, she's not a chamaleon, right? IMO the pose is very good and very sensual with her naked shoulder and back,even if the skin is not as smooth as a CG or anime woman, I agree with him regarding the issue black hair + dark background but the original pic is better on this matter because you can see that they are two separated objects.

Suggestion: why don't you try to shoot her in the same pose with your MX and the 50 mm f1.7, some good film (BW400CN and Portra), focus on the line or her profile and compare the results? That would be an interesting test IMO.
Hello,


About redoing the shoot, it's hard as we are hundred of miles apart.
But I will try it as soon as possible with somebody else.


All the best!
12-01-2014, 07:58 AM - 1 Like   #11
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QuoteOriginally posted by Cuthbert Quote
Don't worry, Miguel is overcritical,
Speak for yourself.

M
12-01-2014, 08:17 AM   #12
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QuoteOriginally posted by Miguel Quote
Speak for yourself.

M
I also forgot your great sense of humour!
12-03-2014, 10:33 AM   #13
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QuoteOriginally posted by Cuthbert Quote
I also forgot your great sense of humour!

That' s good to know. I supose...
01-02-2015, 02:53 AM   #14
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The hair , the hair .....
It should hide the neck ...
Her look is not one of seduction , Perhaps one of power ?
You would need to play with the angles of the head , as a profile shot is not really a seductive shot , for thousands of years profiles were stamped on coins .. Its a power shot .
That photo makes her look strong , ....
The profile needs to be softened , perhaps a slightly submissive poise to the head ...


What do I know ? ( just throwing some ideas out there )
01-02-2015, 12:27 PM   #15
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QuoteOriginally posted by old4570 Quote
The hair , the hair .....
It should hide the neck ...
Her look is not one of seduction , Perhaps one of power ?
You would need to play with the angles of the head , as a profile shot is not really a seductive shot , for thousands of years profiles were stamped on coins .. Its a power shot .
That photo makes her look strong , ....
The profile needs to be softened , perhaps a slightly submissive poise to the head ...


What do I know ? ( just throwing some ideas out there )

Hello,


To some, the `power look` , or maybe the arrogance is seductive, attractive. But (I quote) `What do I know?`

Thanks for the info (seriously) and the time you took to comment on this thread.
About the hair, I don' t like the way it looks, cause it' s all over the place. If we would have managed to arrange it, the lines it created would have helped create a cleaner shot.


Nevertheless, thank you again for the comment.


All the best!
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