Marie's Diner

Fixcinater · 09-05-2009, 10:00 AM

I made this image, and I like it to a certain extent, but it seems to be lacking punch in the overall message. Maybe it needs somebody sitting with the ice cream? Different perspective?

FHPhotographer · 09-05-2009, 10:48 AM

IMO the ice cream looks contrived; I'd either ditch it, or add other items to the counter top. Also, the stools are very interesting and I'm thinking a lower angle, maybe shooting across the stools instead of down at them?
Brian

stevebrot · 09-05-2009, 11:13 AM

I am with FHP...a different angle would be more affective.

As for the ice cream...I did not even see it until I read the comment. Wider lens? Lower angle? Ice cream in foreground?

More punch? I could suggest a Pentax camera, but then that would be low

Seriously though...the scene needs a sense of "light" in my opinion. Lighten a little and then bump the blacks and contrast to add more snap? (Works best if the original is RAW.)

Steve

Damn Brit · 09-06-2009, 01:04 AM

I like the concept but the ice cream is too small. Get closer, lower and over to the right. We don't need to see all the condiments on the counter and it would be nicer if more stools were out of focus.

**Ash** · 09-06-2009, 01:29 AM

You needed to make the subject more obvious - essentially what Steve and Gary were saying.
If the subject's the ice-cream, bring it out more with size and perspective.
If the seats, don't include competing subjects if they're not complementary.
Though that's just me.

K-9 · 09-06-2009, 07:40 AM

While not a striking shot, I kind of like it. I noticed the ice cream right off the bat, as it's the lightest thing in the shot. It sort of looks like a mystery photo, with the viewer wondering who got up and left the ice cream they were eating. A good effort.

GateCityRadio · 09-08-2009, 01:50 AM

I would add someone eating the ice cream, and shoot lower and over to the right.

Fixcinater · 09-12-2009, 10:49 AM

Thanks guys for the critiques. It's not my favorite shot by any means, but I liked the mystery as noted above.

Guess I'll have to go re-shoot and include real people...

Damn Brit · 09-12-2009, 11:36 AM

Originally posted by Fixcinater

Thanks guys for the critiques. It's not my favorite shot by any means, but I liked the mystery as noted above.

Guess I'll have to go re-shoot and include real people...

An alternative would be to have the ice cream half eaten, that would definitely add mystery.

Fixcinater · 09-16-2009, 08:59 PM

I think I'll give that a shot too...it was great ice cream!

branphlake · 09-17-2009, 01:03 PM

My gut feeling... don't shoot on a canon 40d

Fixcinater · 09-20-2009, 11:31 AM

Originally posted by branphlake

My gut feeling... don't shoot on a canon 40d

Ouch.

10 char min.

Pentax_XTC · 09-23-2009, 11:21 AM

I see a wider photo with a slender woman in a black cocktail dress that looks defeated eating the ice cream as sort of a "drowning my sorrows" type of feel. Just my interpretation of how it could go.

Zewrak · 09-30-2009, 02:14 AM

I don't think this image should be black and white. I sense interesting colours that would add to it.

That being said, I usually always tell people to make their images b/w and crop them square.

09-05-2009, 10:00 AM	#1
Fixcinater Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA, USA Posts: 409	Marie's Diner Lens: Effective: 80mm (50mm nominal) Camera: Canon 40D ISO: 800 Shutter Speed: 1/90s Aperture: F1.4 I made this image, and I like it to a certain extent, but it seems to be lacking punch in the overall message. Maybe it needs somebody sitting with the ice cream? Different perspective?

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09-05-2009, 10:48 AM	#2
FHPhotographer Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Fountain Hills, AZ Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,297	IMO the ice cream looks contrived; I'd either ditch it, or add other items to the counter top. Also, the stools are very interesting and I'm thinking a lower angle, maybe shooting across the stools instead of down at them? Brian

09-05-2009, 11:13 AM	#3
stevebrot Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Vancouver (USA) Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 42,007	I am with FHP...a different angle would be more affective. As for the ice cream...I did not even see it until I read the comment. Wider lens? Lower angle? Ice cream in foreground? More punch? I could suggest a Pentax camera, but then that would be low Seriously though...the scene needs a sense of "light" in my opinion. Lighten a little and then bump the blacks and contrast to add more snap? (Works best if the original is RAW.) Steve

09-06-2009, 01:04 AM	#4
Damn Brit Guest	I like the concept but the ice cream is too small. Get closer, lower and over to the right. We don't need to see all the condiments on the counter and it would be nicer if more stools were out of focus.

09-06-2009, 01:29 AM	#5
Ash Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Toowoomba, Queensland Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 23,920	You needed to make the subject more obvious - essentially what Steve and Gary were saying. If the subject's the ice-cream, bring it out more with size and perspective. If the seats, don't include competing subjects if they're not complementary. Though that's just me.

09-06-2009, 07:40 AM	#6
K-9 Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: USA Photos: Albums Posts: 1,971	While not a striking shot, I kind of like it. I noticed the ice cream right off the bat, as it's the lightest thing in the shot. It sort of looks like a mystery photo, with the viewer wondering who got up and left the ice cream they were eating. A good effort.

09-08-2009, 01:50 AM	#7
GateCityRadio Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Greensboro,NC Posts: 503	I would add someone eating the ice cream, and shoot lower and over to the right.

09-12-2009, 10:49 AM	#8
Fixcinater Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA, USA Posts: 409 Original Poster	Thanks guys for the critiques. It's not my favorite shot by any means, but I liked the mystery as noted above. Guess I'll have to go re-shoot and include real people...

09-12-2009, 11:36 AM	#9
Damn Brit Guest	Originally posted by Fixcinater Thanks guys for the critiques. It's not my favorite shot by any means, but I liked the mystery as noted above. Guess I'll have to go re-shoot and include real people... An alternative would be to have the ice cream half eaten, that would definitely add mystery.

09-16-2009, 08:59 PM	#10
Fixcinater Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA, USA Posts: 409 Original Poster	I think I'll give that a shot too...it was great ice cream!

09-17-2009, 01:03 PM	#11
branphlake Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 84	My gut feeling... don't shoot on a canon 40d

09-20-2009, 11:31 AM	#12
Fixcinater Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: San Diego, CA, USA Posts: 409 Original Poster	Originally posted by branphlake My gut feeling... don't shoot on a canon 40d Ouch. 10 char min.

09-23-2009, 11:21 AM	#13
Pentax_XTC Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Duluth, GA Posts: 365	I see a wider photo with a slender woman in a black cocktail dress that looks defeated eating the ice cream as sort of a "drowning my sorrows" type of feel. Just my interpretation of how it could go.

09-30-2009, 02:14 AM	#14
Zewrak Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Nowhere, Sweden Photos: Gallery Posts: 654	I don't think this image should be black and white. I sense interesting colours that would add to it. That being said, I usually always tell people to make their images b/w and crop them square.