Originally posted by microlight Dead easy, Mark - I got tired of clicks, pops, hiss, crackles, scratches, wow, flutter, whoosh, cutting lathe rumble, end of side distortion, crosstalk ... ! Even the fabled 'analogue glow' is AKA harmonic distortion. The problem with the kind of stuff that I listen to (largely orchestral) is that it can all either end very loudly at the end of a side - the worst place for it on vinyl, with the stylus having real difficulty staying in the groove - or can end very, very quietly, in fact sometimes so quietly that it's difficult to hear when it's all finished over the crackle and swoosh of the run-out groove.
Now where's me tin hat?
It's been some years since I've heard a true aficionado talk of "wow", "flutter", "end of side distortion" and "crosstalk"! And all in once sentence no less! Well done.
The answer, as you know, is that you need to spend a car's price on a better turntable, have it all sit on a 2 ton concrete block in the middle of your living room, and feed the signal to the speakers with hand woven gold braid.
Or, you come to realise, as have I, that my ears are nothing like they used to be and none of it matters!
There's got to be a support group for this stuff!