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03-23-2023, 04:58 PM - 9 Likes   #1
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Clackers' Beginner's Tip 66: No diagonal? Pose the model to make one!

Good morning, all. I'm a bit excited about a possible career change. I went for a job interview and the manager said, 'We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well I'm your man," I replied. "In my current job, whenever anything goes wrong they say I was responsible."

Haven't heard back from him yet.

My uncle is pretty old and crusty. At the weekend he had a hotshot real estate agent trying to sell him an apartment, saying, "Remember Mr Clark, this is an investment for the future."

'Listen, young man,' my uncle said wearily, 'At my stage of life I don't even buy green bananas.'

This week I want to talk about creating diagonals.

Pictures featuring just horizontal lines tend to be associated with low energy levels, which can be soothing, reassuring, contemplative or boring, it really depends on how the photographer's done it.

If we can't do anything about the background, we can do something with our subject, whether an object or a person. A diagonal gives an energy lift, and can be by arranging the body, limbs, or even tilting the head.

I'm sure you can think of many variations, feel free to post any examples of you having done this in the comments below, I always enjoy other people's ideas.

In this case, taken in a studio with strobes and a Pentax K-30, it's all of the three, since there's nothing happening behind to give any dynamism. I think studios are deadly places to photograph for that reason, you and the subject really have to join forces and discuss ideas to make interesting images, otherwise for all the time and effort and gear you're just getting a professionally lit passport photo.

To finish with is the story of elderly Alf and Joyce, who go to the doctor for their annual physical.

After testing the husband with the stethoscope, the GP turns to him.

'Well, Alf, you seem fine but I'm going to need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.'

Hard of hearing, Alf turns to look at his wife. 'What did he say?' he yells.

Joyce bellows back: 'He said he needs your underpants.'


Find the rest of the series here: Clackers' Beginners Tips (Collected) - PentaxForums.com



03-23-2023, 07:19 PM - 1 Like   #2
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Thanks for another great tip, Ian!

I'm going to be laughing about the green bananas an inappropriately long time (but perhaps not long enough for them to ripen). Humor is often best when it hits close to home. "I don't even buy green bananas," is a line I'll likely steal many times in the future!
03-23-2023, 07:47 PM - 3 Likes   #3
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QuoteOriginally posted by yucatanPentax Quote
Thanks for another great tip, Ian!

I'm going to be laughing about the green bananas an inappropriately long time (but perhaps not long enough for them to ripen). Humor is often best when it hits close to home. "I don't even buy green bananas," is a line I'll likely steal many times in the future!
Getting older certainly sucks, YP!

I'm waiting for the 'wiser' bit to hit me. Seems to have passed me by.
03-24-2023, 02:13 AM - 1 Like   #4
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
Getting older certainly sucks, YP!

I'm waiting for the 'wiser' bit to hit me. Seems to have passed me by.
Don't hold your breath.

03-24-2023, 02:27 AM - 1 Like   #5
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
Well I'm your man," I replied. "In my current job, whenever anything goes wrong they say I was responsible."
QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
'Listen, young man,' my uncle said wearily, 'At my stage of life I don't even buy green bananas.'
l Loved Groucho these are definetly in "the style of Grouch Marx"
03-24-2023, 07:56 AM - 1 Like   #6
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Great tips (as usual!) but today's jokes are just too funny. I'm wiping my eyes and spilled coffee! Thanks for the horselaughs!

(I had heard the green bananas joke before, but the sample riff was the funniest joke I've heard in a long, long time!)
03-25-2023, 11:20 AM - 1 Like   #7
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
a) Getting older certainly sucks, YP!

b) I'm waiting for the 'wiser' bit to hit me. Seems to have passed me by.
well... in both cases:
QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
.... Joyce bellows back: 'He said he needs your underpants.'....
or as it is called: ***** happens...

I'm going to remember this one with the green bananas! Excellent!


So much for responsibility....


Last edited by photogem; 03-26-2023 at 01:21 AM.
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