How To Be a Photographer (lame attempt at humor)

**GregK8** · 03-02-2009, 06:02 PM

Guys, I've figured out how to be a photographer and it's not hard at all. So all you newbs like me to digital photography that want to be a photographer, all you have to do is this:

1) When your grandma asks you to bring your nice camera to a picnic to take a group shot, you don't tell people you are going to a family picnic. Say "I've got a portrait session this afternoon" instead.

2) If your buddy wants you to take some pics of him playing guitar at the local pub on Friday night, you're not helping out a buddy, your shootin' a gig.

3) Kids at the beach = on location photo shoot for a swimsuit edition.

4) Hike through the woods with your camera is just another way to say remote wildlife expedition.

What do you think? Can anybody else think of a good one?

HermanLee · 03-06-2009, 03:48 PM

You mean How To PRETEND To Be a Photographer!

Parallax · 03-07-2009, 11:43 AM

Never "take your camera along" always take your gear.

MacWilliams · 03-07-2009, 12:04 PM

No matter where you go, you're always scouting locations for a photo shoot.

MShawn63 · 03-07-2009, 01:03 PM

And when you are out and about with camera in hand you are working on location shots to build up your portfolio.

Some cheap and easy business cards that say "I'm a Photographer" is also a great way to meet girls.

skeuos · 03-07-2009, 03:58 PM

And you don't avoid shooting with flash, rather you're "a natural light photographer."

And I plead guilty to #2.

mickeyobe · 03-07-2009, 09:42 PM

Take a picture.

Mickey

RioRico · 03-07-2009, 11:27 PM

"You just stand there looking cute
And when something moves, you shoot."
--T.Lehrer

snkenai · 03-14-2009, 10:47 PM

Get a bigger camera. It works!

newarts · 03-16-2009, 07:03 AM

Paint your lenses off-white ("Canon White" is available on eBay IIRC). Be sure to use hoods on your lenses. Big hoods.

Get a vest with lots of pockets in it.

mithrandir · 03-16-2009, 08:21 AM

And all this time I thought a photographer was a person who took photographs. Who knew?

Gooshin · 03-16-2009, 08:29 AM

Originally posted by newarts

Paint your lenses off-white ("Canon White" is available on eBay IIRC). Be sure to use hoods on your lenses. Big hoods.

Get a vest with lots of pockets in it.

i use oversized hoods on all my lenses, with great success. I do hope that you do as well, as hoods are one of the most important peices that increases contrast and reduces flare.

03-02-2009, 06:02 PM	#1
GregK8 Site Supporter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Western New York Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 614	How To Be a Photographer (lame attempt at humor) Guys, I've figured out how to be a photographer and it's not hard at all. So all you newbs like me to digital photography that want to be a photographer, all you have to do is this: 1) When your grandma asks you to bring your nice camera to a picnic to take a group shot, you don't tell people you are going to a family picnic. Say "I've got a portrait session this afternoon" instead. 2) If your buddy wants you to take some pics of him playing guitar at the local pub on Friday night, you're not helping out a buddy, your shootin' a gig. 3) Kids at the beach = on location photo shoot for a swimsuit edition. 4) Hike through the woods with your camera is just another way to say remote wildlife expedition. What do you think? Can anybody else think of a good one?

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03-06-2009, 03:48 PM	#2
HermanLee Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Southern California, USA Photos: Gallery Posts: 729	You mean How To PRETEND To Be a Photographer!

03-07-2009, 11:43 AM	#3
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Never "take your camera along" always take your gear.

03-07-2009, 12:04 PM	#4
MacWilliams New Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Pikesville, MD Posts: 4	No matter where you go, you're always scouting locations for a photo shoot.

03-07-2009, 01:03 PM	#5
MShawn63 Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 225	And when you are out and about with camera in hand you are working on location shots to build up your portfolio. Some cheap and easy business cards that say "I'm a Photographer" is also a great way to meet girls.

03-07-2009, 03:58 PM	#6
skeuos Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: NYC Photos: Gallery Posts: 71	And you don't avoid shooting with flash, rather you're "a natural light photographer." And I plead guilty to #2.

03-07-2009, 09:42 PM	#7
mickeyobe Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,759	Take a picture. Mickey

03-07-2009, 11:27 PM	#8
RioRico Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Limbo, California Posts: 11,263	"You just stand there looking cute And when something moves, you shoot." --T.Lehrer

03-14-2009, 10:47 PM	#9
snkenai Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Photos: Albums Posts: 113	Get a bigger camera. It works!

03-16-2009, 07:03 AM	#10
newarts Inactive Account Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Ames, Iowa, USA Photos: Albums Posts: 2,965	Paint your lenses off-white ("Canon White" is available on eBay IIRC). Be sure to use hoods on your lenses. Big hoods. Get a vest with lots of pockets in it.

03-16-2009, 08:21 AM	#11
mithrandir Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maryland Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,895	And all this time I thought a photographer was a person who took photographs. Who knew?

03-16-2009, 08:29 AM	#12
Gooshin Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Toronto, the one in Canada. Posts: 5,610	Originally posted by newarts Paint your lenses off-white ("Canon White" is available on eBay IIRC). Be sure to use hoods on your lenses. Big hoods. Get a vest with lots of pockets in it. i use oversized hoods on all my lenses, with great success. I do hope that you do as well, as hoods are one of the most important peices that increases contrast and reduces flare.