It's pretty simple for me. I use a campact camera as a pocket camera. If I truly need HQ IQ images I use the dSLR. everything is a compromise. Here's what I'd want:
Great Optics
Superb image quality, especially in low light
without bumping ISO to the noisy point
Very good battery life
Compact size - need not be an Altoids Tin camera
Complete manual control possibility
Punt the MODES
Frequently I just use an ancient Olympus XA and get better (non-flash) images than I ever could with my wife's Optio A40. It's all in the Zuiko 28/2.8 fixed lens, fixed ASA (film
) and full-manual control.