Dave,
It seems like you are doing everything right. I don't think the problem is with the Spyder 3, as I know plenty of peers with an IPS monitor that use it satisfactorily--though a few use the Coloreyes software with the Spyder puck on Macs.
Have you googled the pink cast on that HP monitor problem? I believe it is depressingly
common over the past year. I have an older version of that monitor and it's excellent but I was lucky to get a good one.
HP has gone through a terrible time with QA on its prosumer monitors and printers during the past three years. Damn shame as HP used to be highly regarded for their engineering and design.
Could you return it? File a warranty claim?
M