Wife has demanded a spreadsheet on photography expenditure

Mohawk · 10-05-2010, 06:59 PM

My wife, overlooking me cleaning my lenses and various kit asked how I've spent.

(Note to self - ban said wife from entering my studio)

Things got heated and she has now demanded that I produce an itemised spreadsheet, replete with Rrp, exactly what I paid, date and shop/method of purchase.

Have any of you experienced something similar, and what was the outcome? My fear is, that my previous purchase (a DA 12-24) will be my last and the DA*60-250 that I've been coveting will now be just a pipedream.

Cheers,
M

Last edited by Mohawk; 10-05-2010 at 07:10 PM.

fiveseven · 10-05-2010, 07:29 PM

Wow,
Two things I can think of for you being in this situation.....
If not than

Your wife is really hot and pays all your bills and gives you $ toward your hobby

or

Something really bad happen in the past (your doing) for her to treat you this way.

ga-hing · 10-05-2010, 07:30 PM

is this real life?

brofkand · 10-05-2010, 07:41 PM

Listen to the immortal words of Ken Rockwell: Why Your Wife Wants You to Buy that New Camera

If you spend all your time cleaning your lenses and not using them, then I'd say she has a reason for alarm. I don't know enough about you, so please don't take this as a slight. I don't mean it to.

magkelly · 10-05-2010, 08:12 PM

Was it your money, hers, or joint money that bought your gear? By yours I mean totally yours, not any money that as a couple you generally pool together for bills. IMHO, if the money was all yours, you earned it, and you're not by necessity funneling your whole paycheck into a joint account for bills, and the bills are all getting paid, than I don't see that it's any of her business to tell you the truth.

Demanding a spreadsheet, that's pretty direct, lol, and very indicative that she's probably worried about how much $$$ your spending though. You might want to take a look at hobby vs bills together. Maybe you're spending more than you should right now in her eyes for some reason. Did you ask her why she suddenly feels the need to document every penny you've spent?

**wizofoz** · 10-05-2010, 08:23 PM

My partner (not wife) usually raises an eyebrow and has something to say each time a new lens appears. I generally smile at her, look down at her feet and ask 'are they ANOTHER pair of new shoes? It generally works.

Mohawk · 10-05-2010, 08:25 PM

Like any tools of the trade I keep my gear clean and well maintained (a field trip gets cr*p everywhere). And yes, I do shoot as often as I can.

I've compiled the spreadsheet and lo and behold I'm well into the five figures. Funny how this stuff accumulates. I think the best way of presenting this information is on an annual spend basis. That way, it doesn't look too bad...

I had a look an Rockwell's reasoning. The problem is that particular gambit really only works once, and I've used it already!

Mohawk · 10-05-2010, 08:26 PM

Originally posted by wizofoz

My partner (not wife) usually raises an eyebrow and has something to say each time a new lens appears. I generally smile at her, look down at her feet and ask 'are they ANOTHER pair of new shoes? It generally works.

Hmmm.. That gives me an idea. I should get her to tally her shoes and handbags!

Mohawk · 10-05-2010, 08:30 PM

Originally posted by magkelly

Was it your money, hers, or joint money that bought your gear? By yours I mean totally yours, not any money that as a couple you generally pool together for bills. IMHO, if the money was all yours, you earned it, and you're not by necessity funneling your whole paycheck into a joint account for bills, and the bills are all getting paid, than I don't see that it's any of her business to tell you the truth.

Demanding a spreadsheet, that's pretty direct, lol, and very indicative that she's probably worried about how much $$$ your spending though. You might want to take a look at hobby vs bills together. Maybe you're spending more than you should right now in her eyes for some reason. Did you ask her why she suddenly feels the need to document every penny you've spent?

Yeah money's all mine. Perhaps I'll just talk through the issues before fuelling the fire with a (long) list of expenditures.

Thanks for the advice!

brofkand · 10-05-2010, 08:36 PM

Originally posted by Mohawk

Like any tools of the trade I keep my gear clean and well maintained (a field trip gets cr*p everywhere). And yes, I do shoot as often as I can.

I've compiled the spreadsheet and lo and behold I'm well into the five figures. Funny how this stuff accumulates. I think the best way of presenting this information is on an annual spend basis. That way, it doesn't look too bad...

I had a look an Rockwell's reasoning. The problem is that particular gambit really only works once, and I've used it already!

That's the hole in Rockwell's logic :-D

Annual spend, count income (sales of images or surplus equipment), etc would help.

A talk is in order; don't turn it around on her by asking to submit a list of handbag purchases (I realize this was in jest). Probably something entirely different going on, I'd guess.

magkelly · 10-05-2010, 08:37 PM

If she's a shoe and bag freak then yeah, I would go there. Most women that do that spend far more than I would on a decent DSLR and lenses over time actually and the resale value is negligible besides. You'd have her there. Honestly I'm not that kind of a gal myself. I do like great shoes, but I'd far rather have a pair of $10 sneakers and a new lens than a $100 pair of sneakers and no camera gear...

A few years ago I just completely floored a guy pal. He said I was the only woman he'd ever walked through his city's diamond district who didn't seriously eye every rock she passed by. What did get my attention? All the cool cameras, of course.

Forget gender solidarity, laugh, I'm with you. Tech gear makes more sense than buying fancy clothes. If you ever need to you can sell tech gear and be okay. Old clothes, you're lucky if Goodwill will even take them unless you're Cher and have 50K worth of stage costumes from Bob Mackie in your wardrobe....

**dadipentak** · 10-05-2010, 08:41 PM

Oooh! Well, things can get dicey during bad economic times. My wife and I have separate accounts and clumsy understandings for sharing domestic expenses so unless we hit a major financial crisis, the extent of my investment in gear (HINT: considerable) is my business only. If I were presented an ultimatum like that, my counter would be "and you'll prepare a similar inventory of your wardrobe?" ;~)

HGMonaro · 10-05-2010, 09:25 PM

average it over the number of years you've been married/alive?

I don't have your problem, my wife spends heaps on card making/scrapbooking stock and is usually making the lame excuses when another order rolls up to the door!

Eruditass · 10-05-2010, 09:35 PM

In a second column, compare it to another hobby, or even nights out with the boys drinking at a bar with taxies.

HGMonaro · 10-05-2010, 09:49 PM

Originally posted by Eruditass

nights out with the boys drinking at a bar with taxies.

I've used that line of reasoning when being asked to do something sooner than later...

My response goes something like this "I could be up the Pub drinking beers playing pool..."

10-05-2010, 06:59 PM	#1
Mohawk Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 109	Wife has demanded a spreadsheet on photography expenditure My wife, overlooking me cleaning my lenses and various kit asked how I've spent. (Note to self - ban said wife from entering my studio) Things got heated and she has now demanded that I produce an itemised spreadsheet, replete with Rrp, exactly what I paid, date and shop/method of purchase. Have any of you experienced something similar, and what was the outcome? My fear is, that my previous purchase (a DA 12-24) will be my last and the DA60-250 that I've been coveting will now be just a pipedream. Cheers, M Last edited by Mohawk; 10-05-2010 at 07:10 PM.*

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10-05-2010, 07:29 PM	#2
fiveseven Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: NV/CA Posts: 370	Wow, Two things I can think of for you being in this situation..... If not than Your wife is really hot and pays all your bills and gives you $ toward your hobby or Something really bad happen in the past (your doing) for her to treat you this way.

10-05-2010, 07:30 PM	#3
ga-hing Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 121	is this real life?

10-05-2010, 07:41 PM	#4
brofkand Pentaxian Join Date: May 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 836	Listen to the immortal words of Ken Rockwell: Why Your Wife Wants You to Buy that New Camera If you spend all your time cleaning your lenses and not using them, then I'd say she has a reason for alarm. I don't know enough about you, so please don't take this as a slight. I don't mean it to.

10-05-2010, 08:12 PM	#5
magkelly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Photos: Gallery Posts: 5,901	Was it your money, hers, or joint money that bought your gear? By yours I mean totally yours, not any money that as a couple you generally pool together for bills. IMHO, if the money was all yours, you earned it, and you're not by necessity funneling your whole paycheck into a joint account for bills, and the bills are all getting paid, than I don't see that it's any of her business to tell you the truth. Demanding a spreadsheet, that's pretty direct, lol, and very indicative that she's probably worried about how much $$$ your spending though. You might want to take a look at hobby vs bills together. Maybe you're spending more than you should right now in her eyes for some reason. Did you ask her why she suddenly feels the need to document every penny you've spent?

10-05-2010, 08:23 PM	#6
wizofoz Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Melbourne, Outer east. Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,695	My partner (not wife) usually raises an eyebrow and has something to say each time a new lens appears. I generally smile at her, look down at her feet and ask 'are they ANOTHER pair of new shoes? It generally works.

10-05-2010, 08:25 PM	#7
Mohawk Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 109 Original Poster	Like any tools of the trade I keep my gear clean and well maintained (a field trip gets cr*p everywhere). And yes, I do shoot as often as I can. I've compiled the spreadsheet and lo and behold I'm well into the five figures. Funny how this stuff accumulates. I think the best way of presenting this information is on an annual spend basis. That way, it doesn't look too bad... I had a look an Rockwell's reasoning. The problem is that particular gambit really only works once, and I've used it already!

10-05-2010, 08:26 PM	#8
Mohawk Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 109 Original Poster	Originally posted by wizofoz My partner (not wife) usually raises an eyebrow and has something to say each time a new lens appears. I generally smile at her, look down at her feet and ask 'are they ANOTHER pair of new shoes? It generally works. Hmmm.. That gives me an idea. I should get her to tally her shoes and handbags!

10-05-2010, 08:30 PM	#9
Mohawk Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 109 Original Poster	Originally posted by magkelly Was it your money, hers, or joint money that bought your gear? By yours I mean totally yours, not any money that as a couple you generally pool together for bills. IMHO, if the money was all yours, you earned it, and you're not by necessity funneling your whole paycheck into a joint account for bills, and the bills are all getting paid, than I don't see that it's any of her business to tell you the truth. Demanding a spreadsheet, that's pretty direct, lol, and very indicative that she's probably worried about how much $$$ your spending though. You might want to take a look at hobby vs bills together. Maybe you're spending more than you should right now in her eyes for some reason. Did you ask her why she suddenly feels the need to document every penny you've spent? Yeah money's all mine. Perhaps I'll just talk through the issues before fuelling the fire with a (long) list of expenditures. Thanks for the advice!

10-05-2010, 08:36 PM	#10
brofkand Pentaxian Join Date: May 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 836	Originally posted by Mohawk Like any tools of the trade I keep my gear clean and well maintained (a field trip gets cr*p everywhere). And yes, I do shoot as often as I can. I've compiled the spreadsheet and lo and behold I'm well into the five figures. Funny how this stuff accumulates. I think the best way of presenting this information is on an annual spend basis. That way, it doesn't look too bad... I had a look an Rockwell's reasoning. The problem is that particular gambit really only works once, and I've used it already! That's the hole in Rockwell's logic :-D Annual spend, count income (sales of images or surplus equipment), etc would help. A talk is in order; don't turn it around on her by asking to submit a list of handbag purchases (I realize this was in jest). Probably something entirely different going on, I'd guess.

10-05-2010, 08:37 PM	#11
magkelly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2010 Photos: Gallery Posts: 5,901	If she's a shoe and bag freak then yeah, I would go there. Most women that do that spend far more than I would on a decent DSLR and lenses over time actually and the resale value is negligible besides. You'd have her there. Honestly I'm not that kind of a gal myself. I do like great shoes, but I'd far rather have a pair of $10 sneakers and a new lens than a $100 pair of sneakers and no camera gear... A few years ago I just completely floored a guy pal. He said I was the only woman he'd ever walked through his city's diamond district who didn't seriously eye every rock she passed by. What did get my attention? All the cool cameras, of course. Forget gender solidarity, laugh, I'm with you. Tech gear makes more sense than buying fancy clothes. If you ever need to you can sell tech gear and be okay. Old clothes, you're lucky if Goodwill will even take them unless you're Cher and have 50K worth of stage costumes from Bob Mackie in your wardrobe....

10-05-2010, 08:41 PM	#12
dadipentak Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,590	Oooh! Well, things can get dicey during bad economic times. My wife and I have separate accounts and clumsy understandings for sharing domestic expenses so unless we hit a major financial crisis, the extent of my investment in gear (HINT: considerable) is my business only. If I were presented an ultimatum like that, my counter would be "and you'll prepare a similar inventory of your wardrobe?" ;~)

10-05-2010, 09:25 PM	#13
HGMonaro Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Melb. Aust Posts: 840	average it over the number of years you've been married/alive? I don't have your problem, my wife spends heaps on card making/scrapbooking stock and is usually making the lame excuses when another order rolls up to the door!

10-05-2010, 09:35 PM	#14
Eruditass Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Photos: Gallery Posts: 2,207	In a second column, compare it to another hobby, or even nights out with the boys drinking at a bar with taxies.

10-05-2010, 09:49 PM	#15
HGMonaro Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Melb. Aust Posts: 840	Originally posted by Eruditass nights out with the boys drinking at a bar with taxies. I've used that line of reasoning when being asked to do something sooner than later... My response goes something like this "I could be up the Pub drinking beers playing pool..."