Every year I do
the annual recital for a traditional Japanese dance troupe and have the good fortune of being able to shoot it any way and from any place I please, which is about half from the first couple of rows of seats and about half with an elbow on the stage itself (from the edges, of course).
I do the bulk of it with Takumar lenses stopped down to about f5.6 and a shutter speed of 1/125 at ISO800 and no flash. For the ones that require flash I have remote flash set up on each side of the stage and fire them with radio triggers. Like I said, I'm fortunate to have a free hand and nobody questions it when I use flash, much less try to prohibit it.
This sort of shooting turns into a set of choices. You want to have as fast a shutter speed as you can, an aperture sufficient to give DOF to encompass what you need in focus, and an ISO as high as you can go without introducing an unacceptable level of noise. You have to find a balance that takes all three into consideration and yields acceptable results.
Regardless of the aperture you actually shoot at, a faster lens will make focusing easier (especially if you're using K-mount lenses, which practically everybody does), no matter whether you're using auto focus or manual focus.
Showing up for rehearsal is important, all the more so if they have the lighting set up the same as it will be for the actual performance. You need to be familiar with the performance to know what is coming up and what will be your best spot for getting a good shot. This allows you to take advantage of breaks in the action to move into an advantageous spot without annoying the audience while the show is going on. Working from the edges gives you more freedom to move front-to-back in the theater without blocking people's view or being overly distracting. Equally importantly, it gives you a chance to work out what exposure settings you're going to use during the show. If different parts are lighted considerably differently then you can work out each of the parts. Take notes about what settings you chose if you need to and refer to them during the show. A tiny keychain-type penlight is a handy thing to have on you in case you need to refer to your notes or the program during the show.
I shoot RAW because for one thing it means I don't have to pay the slightest bit of attention to white balance while I'm shooting; I batch correct each dance in Lightroom, a process which involves minimal time and fuss.
The real key thing to work on is improving your access and freedom of motion during the show, and that involves improving the performers' understanding of how that enhances what you are able to provide them in terms of photographic remembrances after the show. If they're satisfied with having a bunch of stuff shot from one fixed location in the audience, then that's what you'll be stuck doing. To my mind that provides output so uniformly dull that I would only do it if a family member were in the show.
You already work backstage; don't forget that the goings-on behind the scenes make for photographic opportunities arguably even more compelling than what is happening
on the stage. There are wonderful shots galore waiting to be taken back there. As so few people have access to that sort of thing while practically
anybody can shoot from the audience I would suggest that you make the most of the unique opportunity that provides you.