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Forum: General Talk 1 Day Ago  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
This reminds me of the black person who once said to me "being black can be boring. When white people are angry, they are red. If they are sick, they are green or yelow, when lonely they are blue, when embarrassed, they are red. If you are black, then when angry, black. When sick, black. When lonely, black, etc".
Forum: General Talk 2 Days Ago  
How to use a roundabout (also called a traffic circle)
Posted By bxf
Replies: 121
Views: 1,917
He prefers driving on the left, regardless of where he is...:lol:

---------- Post added 25-11-20 at 18:44 ----------


That reminds of the time I was touring Italy, in a rental car, and going through some piazzas. While going around the square, I saw a car about to enter it. The driver was going quite fast, with no hint that he was intending to slow down, and I never saw that he even looked my way as we were both approaching the same area. That was the first indication that Italian drivers are crazy*.

It was years later, while working in Italy, that I found out that traffic entering a piazza or roundabout has the right of way.

I had a similar experience in Paris, on more than one trip there, where I was going around this huuuuuge roundabout with about a gazillion lanes, and I had no idea how to negotiate it, because it looked like such a mess. As I was approaching it, wondering how I'm ever going to manage to enter, I was very pleased to see some cars grinding to a halt just for my benefit. Once again, as in Italy, I later found out who has the right of way.


* I worked several years in Italy, and (some of) the drivers there are crazy. Either that, or they have x-ray vision. For example, they would go on the other side of the road to overtake you, while going around a small hill, where there is no way they can see if there is any oncoming traffic.
Forum: General Talk 2 Days Ago  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
The extent of spread of Covid-19 depends on two factors:


1. How dense the populations is.


2. How dense the populations is.
Forum: General Talk 3 Days Ago  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
Maybe not so thankful...
Forum: General Talk 11-01-2020, 01:06 PM  
awesome purchase
Posted By bxf
Replies: 37
Views: 1,204
Once, while living in Australia, after several years away from the Canadian climate, I had to return to Canada urgently. It was Australian summer, and Canadian winter. Due to late flight bookings, it was about 35 hours of traveling. Finally in Montreal, I reached the airport door, which opened automatically in front of me. It was like being hit in the face with a block of ice! The fact that I did not own a coat worthy of Montreal winter did not help the rest of my body either. Despite my having lived in such weather for 19 years, I could not believe the sensation. I sprang back into the terminal, giving myself a few moments to mentally prepare for what was waiting for me outside.


I assume the boats had some people in them, yes? Several times I had to go to Germany in winter, and I was shocked and amused seeing people sitting outside, drinking cold beer, or whatever. I know that most of my anatomy is pretty much the same as that of other homo sapiens, but some part of my physiology is not normal, as I get shivers just watching people doing things in the cold.
Forum: Pentax News and Rumors 10-31-2020, 03:55 PM  
[New video Oct 27] New information about upcoming APS-C flagship model
Posted By bxf
Replies: 1,175
Views: 70,344
I can't help but wonder how many of the images in your present photo collection would have looked better if the K1 II did not have the accelerator.
Forum: General Talk 10-31-2020, 03:03 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
Good picture.
Forum: General Talk 10-29-2020, 04:11 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
A few wisecracks...
Forum: General Talk 10-23-2020, 07:29 AM  
awesome purchase
Posted By bxf
Replies: 37
Views: 1,204
I haven't verified this, but I was told you can rent an island in the Maldives quite cheaply, like $1 per year per palm tree on the island you choose.
Forum: General Talk 10-22-2020, 02:29 PM  
awesome purchase
Posted By bxf
Replies: 37
Views: 1,204
I lived in Canada or 19 years. Very nice country, but I'm not convinced it was intended for human beings. I suspect that the creator meant it for penguins, seals, and polar bears.

I also use an electric blanket. However, it's not easy washing dishes or going to the bathroom with it:)
Forum: General Talk 10-21-2020, 12:49 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
Being Italian, wouldn't the bride be more likely to say 45.72cm? :)
Forum: Pentax News and Rumors 10-19-2020, 11:20 AM  
'Be patient and wait' (Kimio Tanaka)
Posted By bxf
Replies: 148
Views: 12,589
The description was probably written after the feature was discovered...:)
Forum: General Talk 10-11-2020, 12:53 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
Two -pick your favourite ethnic target- guys are walking along and find a mirror on the road.

One of them picks up the mirror and says "I know this face, but I can't put a name on it".

The other one takes the mirror, looks at it and says "you fool, it's me!"
Forum: General Photography 10-08-2020, 02:13 AM  
A bit of history
Posted By bxf
Replies: 2
Views: 779
Forum: General Talk 10-06-2020, 03:34 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
A lawyer exiting his fancy car, opened the door without looking, and had another car smash into his door, and his arm, a part of which went flying off somewhere.

The lawyer gets out and starts screaming at the other driver, complaining about his now damaged vehicle. The other driver is incredulous and says "you are so materialistic, worrying about your fancy car, you don't even notice that your arm is gone".

The lawyer looks at his half-arm and exclaims "my Rolex! Where is my Rolex!"
Forum: General Talk 10-04-2020, 05:23 AM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
20 seconds...
Forum: General Talk 10-03-2020, 04:28 AM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
I posted these three years ago, and I believe they are worth repeating. Apologies if you disagree:)

A lawyer was driving to his suburban home in his fancy car, when he sees a man in a field along the road, eating grass.

He stops the car, gets out and asks the man why he is eating grass.The man replies "I am poor, and have no money for food".

The lawyer says, hmmm, hop in the car. We are going to my house.

The poor man then points to several people just a bit further in the field and says "but I have my wife and children there".

The lawyer then says "great, let's take everybody. The grass in my yard is two feet high!"

-----------------------------------------------------

In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant"s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dans legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant!

--------------------------------------------------

Recently a man in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Renault van ran out of petrol.

When asked how he could devise such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
Forum: General Talk 10-02-2020, 01:06 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
Chicken recipe
Forum: General Talk 09-30-2020, 03:09 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair, KILL HER!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said,
"Then you're not the right man for this job.

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Forum: General Talk 09-30-2020, 04:00 AM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
What's in a name?
Forum: Photographic Industry and Professionals 09-30-2020, 01:29 AM  
Pentax K-3 II successor on September 2020
Posted By bxf
Replies: 961
Views: 84,290
That probably because we have virtually no knowledge of any other specs, so we cannot complain about the unknown... except about the fact that no specs are being released:)
Forum: Photographic Industry and Professionals 09-29-2020, 10:35 AM  
Pentax K-3 II successor on September 2020
Posted By bxf
Replies: 961
Views: 84,290
Come-on, Norm. If we were talking about canoes instead of cameras you'd be drooling all over:lol::lol::lol:
Forum: General Talk 09-29-2020, 02:35 AM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
(I don't necessarily accept the veracity of the first paragraph, but, it is what it is...)

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....

Dear Sir,

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found
that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull,
inor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,
that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for
the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers my inquiry.

Micheli Watson
E-470 Public Highway Authority
303 537-3747
Fax 303 537-3471
Mwatson@e-470.com
Forum: Pentax News and Rumors 09-27-2020, 01:20 PM  
Product Stories of New APS-C (Directory)
Posted By bxf
Replies: 112
Views: 11,692
I don't believe it was Parallax' intention to make fun of anybody's opinion. He saw an opportunity for a bit of humour and took advantage. No need to be too serious;)
Forum: General Talk 09-21-2020, 03:39 PM  
The Joke Thread
Posted By bxf
Replies: 3,382
Views: 269,944
It appears that my comment is being taken not as i had intended:( Please see my subsequent comment here:

The Joke Thread - Page 209 - PentaxForums.com
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